sad and confused

[StacyLklnd]

  When I was about 16 yrs old i started to hold my breath with no control. Ever since then it`s just gotten worse and worse. I "black out" which i refer to the feeling of about to pass out to actually passing out and its nearly 10 times a day. i shake some times, my memory is so bad now, i forget mid point in a conversation what i`m talking about, constant headaches, panicky, i can`t focus or concentrate. I`m 24 now and whatever is wrong with me seems to be steadily worsening. I have 4 kids that i try to feel good for everyday. I desperately need help. Lord knows I`ve been trying to get it. Plus my lower back hurts so much everyday it`s nearly unbearable, I`ve recently separated with husband who`s no where to be found and my family are all deceased or on drugs. So any advice would be greatly appreciated my babies need me to get better asap.    

[HyE_jO0]

This could be some form of disorder linked to OCD.  (The holding the breath part)  Have you looked into speaking to a psychologist?  

Did anything happen to trigger the back pain?

~HJ-(k)

[StacyLklnd]

child birth and epidural

[mammo]

Have you seen a specialist regarding all of this?  If not, you need to right away.  I'm so sorry to hear all that you are enduring, and that's pretty lousy of your husband to have bailed on you like this!!  You can always talk to us, we understand and do care.  I was left with 3 babies and nobody, and somehow we did okay.  Look into any government resources available to you and your children.  What's most important is to get you better so you can care for your children and yourself.  You don't say what tests you've had done, this would help us to help you.  Anxiety can cause headaches and forgetfulness, but this holding your breath without any control, do you mean you are doing it and can't seem to stop?  Give us a little more info so we can help. This is a great place for support and advice, and we would like to help as much as we can.

[StacyLklnd]

I know it's been a while since I posted this but nowadays instead of holding big breathes all day I only do it when I'm really stressed which is all the time but it's not so bad. I also every few months go through these episodes of intense tension throughout my entire body including my tongue and I have a crazy stare that's hard to control. This seems to happen alot when I travel or experience a big change in environment. The only way it will go away is a trip to hospital with a shot of ativan or I ride it out for the hours it last. I lost my kids due to my inability to take care of my mental health. I have no one to help me straighten my life out and I'm struggling with the process of applying for disability. Something always happens to prevent me from completing it like those function reports. I don't know how to fill those out.