a threrapist/ psychlogist may help or" ask a doctor" -drifter0213
I would suggest getting your daughter into therapy NOW before she becomes one of us!!! LOL!!!
Seriously, she probably has seperation anxiety and doesn't know how to put it into words. I suggest talking with her about her schedule and how you will be there to pick her up at whatever time it is...You have to reinforce that you are coming back. However, if she is anything like I was, I was always afraid something would happen to my parents when they were out. A child psychologist can better diagnose what is wrong and give her strategies now so she doesn't end up having severe anxiety issues when she grows up.
When I have panic attacks I just remind myself that it is not anything serious and that it will pass...It is more of just an annoyance now to me than an actual fear like it used to be. Taking deep breaths and calming your thoughts helps...the more you practice the better you get at it.
Thanks Suzi... For the last week I have been leaving work early and picking her up from school as apposed to her going to the babysitters ... this seems to have relieved her stomach aches in the morning.
She usually goes to her babysitters for 1hr in the AM and for about 1½hrs in the PM after school. I think because I was home for so long she is having some trouble adjusting. You may be right about her worries .... she often talks about dying. She has experienced the loss of 1 grandma, a hampster a cat and a dear family friend in the last 2 years. So she is likely wondering when we will die. I never ever even thought that these experiences would lead her to think about my husband or I. I just assumed that she was secure with us always being there.
I have never really asked if she had "worries" .... only if something was wrong. Like was she being bullied, or has anyone made her feel bad. I now wonder after reading your response, does she worry that something will happen to us? I know it seems so silly that I have not given this thought already. But when I asked her how she felt about these things when they happened she said that she was sad.... and as the days went on she seemed okay. I guess I never considered that she couldnt put into words how she felt. I just assumed that she is 7 and has a wide range of vocabulary, that she would be able to tell me. But maybe she just doesnt comprehend. These people were here and now they are gone, and she really has no explanation, except for everyone dies. What a terrifying state of mind.
Any suggestions for me to have this discussion with her ... without instilling a thought that may not be there?
Thanks again ... for your response and for listening to me ramble on and on!! LOL
I think Im the one that needs therapy ... listen to me! lol
I had a lot of losses when I was a child...a few uncles and a few aunts at a young age. I then grew up with a terrible fear of my parents dying...It was just terrible..If they were 5 minutes late I always thought they were in a car accident, etc. This carried on with me for many many years into adulthood...I remember once telling my parents after hysterically crying when they were late once that I was afraid that something happened. They, of course, calmed me and reassured me that they were fine and that it was silly to think that way....it didn't stop....as an adult, if I would go on vacation with the girls, and called home as often as I could to make sure everything was ok...My parents are gone now, but my worries have not ended..now I worry about my sister driving, my daughter, etc. HOWEVER, it is not as uncontrollable like it used to be. I was in therapy for depression and anxiety for a number of years, and it is through that experience that I found out about all these irrational fears that I was having and perceiving them as normal. DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE, BECAUSE NOW I AM RAMBLING!
That is why I think that lots of reassurance will help and I am a big fan of therapy...That is a long day for a 7 year old...unfortunately, we aren't able to be stay at home moms. Our children begin to miss us. Like you said, I wouldn't bring it up to her...I used to be embarrassed to feel this way...just tell her that she can tell you anything that is bothering her and that you won't think it is silly, and then you can work it out together. I HOPE THIS HELPS.
I dont think you even realize how much this helps. And now that you mention being embarrassed, I believe that my daughter feels that way too. Alot of times if she is hurt about something, or if she is teased by a friend, she is very embarrassed. She tells me about her feelings so that i am informed, and when I try to discuss it with her, to work through her emotions she shuts down. she says " I dont want to talk about this anymore". So I confirm that she is okay and drop it, I dont want to force her to talk about it.
I have to say I feel a little foolish for not having given this whole thing some deeper thought prior to now. But at least I am aware now of some other possible reasons for her behaviour. And maybe a child psychologist wouldnt be a bad idea.
I know sometimes I feel like my OCD is a whole family disease, and I blame myself for her feelings sometimes. I try to keep it inside so that my husband and daughter dont suffer ... I can be pretty hard to live with at times. I am learning to manage now. Its nice to know though that there is a possibility that this has nothiong to do with my disorder.
Thanks so much suzi , I really appreciate it.
You're very welcome! Yes, sometimes it is very hard to see something outside the box...the only reason why I was able to give you my answer is because I experienced it...if I didn't I wouldn't know what to say! Glad I can help and hope that everything turns out fine...don't feel ashamed about your OCD...you didn't choose to have it. Every person suffers with one thing or another in this world...you just deal with it the best you can..talk to you soon.