*shrug* that is completely up to you. You're going through serotonin withdrawal right now and that could be 3-4 weeks of side effects.
The biggest mistake people make when on medications is they don't deal or work through their issues. Suddenly they feel better so they stop their medication. Medication should be seen as a temporary patch on a leaky roof. If one is not willing to make the time and effort to help get them to a better place mentally, then they should not start, or stop the medication. If you don't want to go back on medication, look into getting some cognitive behavioural therapy.
I had no time to go to the doctor, because I was with a friend and the doctor is far from my home and i am abroad in the moment so i have problems with my insurance. I do not take it now since 3 days. I feeld bad the first 2 days, but is there no a sense to go to a doctor? I mean to start again?
It's pretty dangerous to cancel from 20mg to 0. I would NOT recommend it. Go talk to your doctor or call your local nurse line.