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Avatar universal

what is this called?, and why does this happen?

Hello there, I need to know what this is called, a name?; I'm fairly sure this goes under anxiety but is there anything more specific to this particular circumstance/situation??.

First of all I'm a 20 year old male, And throughout the beginning of my life things didn't go all that well for me in school,home and whatnot, and it continued to my early teens.

Basically within those early days I was very alone, I didn't have any friends, was mocked and bullied a bit, and I was a social outcast. From there onwards I had trouble talking to people, and It was very difficult for me to walk up to people and ask for them of anything (teachers, parents, fellow students).

I still have these problems, for example I don't like being in crowds, and I find it extremely difficult to take a phone-call to an unknown person (hotlines, service numbers etc.). I know that sounds really stupid but its very difficult for me to do. I get jittery and words don't come out properly and I start to feel very uncomfortable, and thats over the phone. If I were to approach someone and talk to them physically, I would first need to mentally prepare my self and then walk in. And most of the time I would have short breath and my heart would start pounding. Another thing that I find is that it is quite easy to get me going emotionally(?), I don't understand why and at times I wonder to my self what the hell I'm doing. Certain small things put me "off" and i get very emotional and I don't understand why. Luckily it doesn't happen all too often.

Anyway I know that I rushed a lot of the above and didn't give many specifics about why and how. I would just like to know the name for my little situation here?. I don't know what to tell people when they ask me why I am this way?.

-kind regards.
4 Responses
Avatar universal
It sounds like an extreme case of social anxiety.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

I have this as well. I don't have it to the degree that you do (trust me, not bragging) unless it's small crowds. This stems from the same place yours does it seems. I was bullied in school, embarrassed by students and can even pin point when the worst happened that probably domino effected the rest. Mine I think started in elementary school when I got stuck between two buildings and the fire department had to get me down. They almost had to take off my pants, but were able to keep my clothes on.........I think I would be wayyy worse if they had to take them off.

People who are older, like 60's and on, don't bother me in any crowd, but if they are younger, say 40's and younger, I get this social anxiety.

It's because of people on this site having certain problems that I don't say how I deal with it. I would share, but would not want to run the risk of what helps me backfiring and becoming a problem for you or someone else.

Anyways, if I were not to do what helps me, I get REALLY bad, like I just want to escape the situation. I feel like an animal backed into a corner.

Therapy would be the first place I start. I am hoping it would be possible for you to control it without medications. I won't lie though, although I am by no means pro medication, your case seems to be so extreme that I think if therapy don't work, you might need medication.

This is not an insult. I probably should be on a couple medications myself. I would just prefer to self medicate instead of sticking yet another pill inside me. For you, it should be whatever works. Also, and this is important, there is NO reason to feel embarrassed that you have this problem, and have to do whatever it is to fix/control it.

I can tell you are an intelligent person, and so beating this would be in your favor. (Of course people who are not intelligent should try to, just saying that you might have a lot more to offer but can't because of the social anxiety.

If you need to talk to someone, feel free to message me. I don't judge and I don't look down on people. They would have to be evil for me to not be empathetic and judgmental. You seem to be a cool guy with an unfortunate problem. The good news is, you can control this.

Please keep us posted.
Avatar universal
I really like the way trdofbeingtird worded their post. I think it was good advice to try non drugs first and then if that fails you still have the meds option. I wish you well.
1460652 tn?1340252330
Im going through all that right now too. i just had my first therapy session and believe it or not, i feel a teeny better just after one session. Im trying to beat this without antidepressants. my advice to you would be TALK to someone. A professional would be best, but even just people on this forum are a Godsend and can help tremendously. You have to figure out WHY you feel this way, get to the root of the problem. I have been on different meds throughout the last 13 years and they did mask the symptoms, but the problem is still always deep down in there. And it usually resurfaces after a while. even if you do need meds, a combination of meds and therapy is sure to work way better than meds alone. Just keep putting in the work and you will be okay. thats what i tell myself every day.
Avatar universal
I am glad you are making this choice even though you haven't been to to much therapy yet, however, it would be nice if you could add to my tips/techniques if you find something that works for you. You don't need a huge amount of time in therapy to share stuff that helps :-)
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