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Asperger's Syndrome Community
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Avatar universal

Asperger's and school

I have a 16 year old daughter who has been diagnosed with Asperger's. She is very shy and has trouble making and keeping friends. She seems to want friends that are available only when she wants them to be available. Most of her time is spent in solitude making jewery, which she is verg good at, or watching TV.

She is currently struggling with high school and seems to have little interest in her school work or grades. She states that she wants to get into a 'good' college. We have explained how important it is to do well in her sophmore and junior years yet she shows little ambition to do her schoolwork.

I am very worried about her future. Is college a real possibility for a child with Asperger's who has little interest in education? Because of her inability to interact with others, I cannot envision her working in a service profession.
Do most adults with Asperger's eventually do fine in life?
3 Responses
Avatar universal
I have a brother who is in his 50s and a father to a boy and a girl the boy is only less than a yr old and his wife is about 31 yrs old his oldest child is a girl who is about 3. Other than the fact that my brother is very very selfish and only thinks of himself he has no concept of money, and I don't think he is capable of caring for anyone but himself, which sounds kind of mean but in fact he never shows affection to his young wife and gives her left over clothes of his for her birthday. I hope for your daughters sake she is not as selfish as my brother. could you keep me informed of her life as she grows? And let me know  if I can answer any other ?'s  thanks
Avatar universal
Have you met with your daughter's teachers to see what can be done to form friendships at her school. There are ways to teach her how to maintain friendships and possibly have a friendship with another aspie. Be gentle and kind in convincing her as she will already be aware that she is an outsider but she is as much a part of her school community as anyone else even if she is not aware of it. Only wanting to spend time with friends when she wants is something that she might never be able to overcome but she can learn the routine of meeting every friday night to watch a movie or a regular TV show or movies.

As far as her education is concerned, you should have an idea of her intelligence level and her potential. Is her handwritting an issue, can she use a computer and does she get extra time in exams etc? There may be other things to encourage her to engage in studies and have , quieter class and study areas and giving her a written structure to follow but I am not an education expert. Part of the issue might be that the rules of each stage of education change and just as she is adjusting to the last stage, she has to move on. Explaining the full course content and structure to her in detail before the course starts and letting her get a look at reading lists, text books and the classroom before the begining of term might help too. I don't know but try, she cannot help herself she obviously wants to but doesn;t know how to.

More importantly she obviously is creative. You could look at apprenticeships with local jewellers and explain her limitations with interacting with the public but her ability to focus and make. Or fashion college.
Also there may be creative classes at colleges or art schools, close by if she is unable to live away from home. Once she realises that her grades in other subjects will allow her to get into college or a job to speciallise in jewelry making she may pick up her studies but she may need guidance as I mentioned above
Good luck, the world is full of people with AS who function well and even go to the top of their professions, she just needs to find her niche.


791606 tn?1240593511
I have a 21 year old daughter with Asperger's. She also loves to make jewerly. We have recently started an Ebay business and she sells about 1,000 a month on ebay. It is a wonderful way for her to use her talent and also have spending money. She does need help in getting her orders filled and shipped out, which is what I do for her.
Please know that school is a very stressful and anxiety provoking place for our kids. They spend so much energy just getting through the day that they can hardly do homework or be actively involved in the classroom. My daughter had an IEP (individual education plan) that did help her get through some of her classes. She ended up taking her GED in her senior year so she could quit school. She is very intelligent in the 160's IQ, but that doesn't mean she can deal with social situations. She will always struggle with this. Asperger's does get easier to deal with the more you read and understand where they are coming from, what stresses them out, and how you can be an advocate for them. I wish you much luck in helping your daughter.
It's a life long job. Accept her as she is. Oh ya...my daughter is in college, she takes 1 class at a time and she also has an advocate through the school who helps her speak with her teachers and explain her situation. She perfers to take online classes, because the classroom is very stressful and the lights really bother her.
Hope this is of help. Please let me know if you have any more questions.
Take care,
Carolyn
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