Asperger's Syndrome Community
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Avatar universal

Confused and Scared

Hi (sorry in advance for the long post), I am a twenty year old male in Las Vegas and have been struggling with mental health problems for my whole life, but only realizing my thoughts were abnormal for the past 2 ½ years.  I was first diagnosed as a child with anxiety but we thought nothing of it.  Then, about 2 ½ years ago I had a near-psychotic meltdown, mostly about the devil and evil spirits, and was diagnosed with OCD and prescribed Anafranil and Zyprexa, which helped with the irrational thinking and obsessive thoughts a little.  Between now and then, I have been diagnosed with OCD, Social anxiety disorder, GAD, major depressive disorder, ADHD, and most recently, aspergers/high functioning autism.  I have also been told by a highly rated local psychiatrist that I have the worst anxiety he has ever seen.  No therapist or psychologist can help, some even say out loud that I “perplex” them or to look somewhere else.  My symptoms are:
• Horrible, untouchable anxiety
• Obsessive, ruminating thoughts – helped by Anafranil and Zyprexa
• Very unfocused, disorganized thinking
• Very depressed
• Suicidal
• Think people are talking and laughing at me behind my back
• No ability to interpret my emotions (Alexithymia) or thoughts
• Most Aspergers/autism traits with extremely high intelligence.
• Irrational/Delusional – paranoid, unreasonable (Only sometimes)
• When on lower doses or no antipsychotics I hear voices a lot, but not usually clearly, sounding far off, not addressing me personally.
• Anger is getting worse
• Severe lack of motivation
• No pleasure in anything
• Inability to do almost anything, even everyday tasks, (no idea why)
• Other physical health problems
The meds I’ve been on are (most at max or above max dose):
• SSRIS- Lexapro, Celexa, Zoloft, Viibryd, Paxil, Prozac- all with no effect at all except made me more suicidal.
• Other antidepressants- Wellbutrin (made me angry), Anafranil (Helped control obsessive thinking), Cymbalta (no effect), Strattera (no effect)
• Antipsychotics- Zyprexa (works slightly, weight gain), Seroquel (doped me up, no help otherwise), Risperdal (no effect), Abilify (made me jittery, helped depression), Latuda (combined with zyprexa, no effect), Lithium (no effect except a rash), Geodon (slight effect, less than Zyprexa)
• Benzos- Valium, Librium (anger), Xanax, Klonopin (doped me up), Ativan –No effects on anxiety at all on any benzo.
• Others- Adderall (helped focus at first, not so much anymore), Inderal (no effect), Neurontin (helps anxiety ever so slightly), Trazadone (slept better, maybe), Buspar (no effect), Deplin (no effect), Topamax (no effect except acne)
• Currently on: Anafranil 200mg, Zyprexa 17.5mg, Neurontin 1800mg, Adderal 80mg
We don’t know what to do next. Symptoms are getting worse.  I have been hospitalized once, been to Mayo clinic, tried many psychiatrists and therapists, still no help.  Have tried once in this period of time to get off antipsychotics (only a couple of days) but with bad results (irrational, delusional).  Again, sorry for the long post, but we really need help, new meds, diagnosis suggestions, treatment suggestions, anything!
2 Responses
1120846 tn?1356043429
I would ask your psychiatrist about electroshock therapy.
Have you tried any alternate healing therapies, I found Reiki a great help under similar circumstances, I still need  various med's but the Reiki makes them work better.
Avatar universal
I'm just wondering how long you had or have been on Adderall. A lot of your symptoms are consistent with taking Adderall, especially on 80mg. I took Adderall and after two weeks I was paranoid, thought people were talking about me, police following me, depressed and anxious to the max!! After I stopped it the symptoms slowing got better. Come to find out all those thoughts were crazy and not true. I thank God I stopped that med. I still have anxiety but with a low dose of a benzo and Zoloft I had my life back!! You said that some benzo doped you up. Take a smaller dose. Some long time users on Adderall  will develop psychosis. Done don't make it back to reality.  I Did! Good Luck
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