6 year old possible Aspergers

[lesliecesak]

How can I help my 6 year old grandson, Michael, to exhibit appropriate social behavior? Michael will not stop hugging and kissing both boys and girls to show that he likes them.
He is very bright, spending 4 days in Kindergarten, in a class that was a split K/1, then being moved up to 1st Grade.
His performance in class in erratic, he is capable of 5th/6th work but will refuse when he recongnizes that his assignments are different than the other 1st graders.  Yet he loves being the "teacher" for the highest reading group in his class, actually teaching the other 2 children how to read.  He has a "girlfriend" and wants to get married.  At age 4 he told one girl that when he grew up he would find her and marry her.
We feel strongly that he has Aspergers, another member of the family was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, and many others in my family do and have exhibited the symptoms of Aspergers.  Michael's mother does not want him to be "identified" as having Aspergers as she thinks this would have a negative impact on his life. There are no local professionals to call upon in our rural area for help.

[Rachel Thompson, Ph.D., BCBA]

The type of interactions that you describe (e.g., hugging, talking about marriage) are actually not atypical for children your grandson's age. So, I would not be particularly concerned, although it is important to begin teaching all children appropriate social boundaries. It would be a good idea for his family and school to work together to address social behavior and performance issues that are of concern. Also, you are wise to monitor his development carefully, given the family history of autism spectrum disorders. I certainly recommend sharing all concerns about develpment with a child's pediatrician.

[Sally44]

It is worth checking wether your grandson needs a diagnosis to get input in school from people like a Speech and Language Therapist.  These are the professionals who look at social interaction skills in the UK, if you are somewhere else check to see if it is part of their job.  He will need to be taught the difference between family, friends and strangers and taught different ways of saying hello to them.  At 6 it is not too bad - maybe just starting to look a little inappropriate - but the SALT should put together a programme for this in school.  My son goes to a Social Skills Club that is overseen by a SALT.  My son also has an adult to support him with play and social interaction during playtimes and dinnertimes.  My son is diagnosed with high functioning autisim.   I think the difficulty alot of children with 'Aspergers' have is that they are just considered too capable.  But as you see for yourself, they do not pick up social communication and behaviour automatically by interacting with other children.  They need it to be taught to them like it is a lesson and once they have learnt it in one environment eg. school they have to be taught to transfer that skills into other environments eg. home etc.
Google Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder.  See if that sounds like your grandson.  If it does then maybe that as a diagnosis might be more acceptable to the family, and, as it is a speech disorder (closely associated with being on the spectrum), in the UK it means the child will have access to a SALT throughout his school years because it is a 'disorder' and therefore will be with the child for life.
You can also find out about Social Stories.  This is a way of giving information to children.  His school or an Educational Psychologist should be able to show you how these work.
You could also consider Play Therapy, but you would need to find a PT who has experience of working with children on the spectrum and who uses a system similar to Greenspan floor time where she will get down with the child (and eventually introduce other children) and can model back behaviour and talk through emotions and thought processes of social interaction and playing as it is happening.
There are also games you can buy about these types of issues.  I know my son's school has some, but I don't know where they got them from.  So there would be a scenario and the child has to pick a card that is an appropriate reaction or behaviour to the scenario and also explain their reasoning for choosing that card.
If you are in the USA contact a national autism organisation and ask them to put you in the right direction.
You can also find out about local support groups.  It might be helpful for all the family to meet other families in similar situations especially if they do social stuff together so that their children and siblings can meet and play together.
Does your grandson have any awareness that he doesn't do things or react as his peers do?  Keep an eye out for that, although he has no diagnosis, he may need his difficulties explaining to him so that he doesn't start to get a negative image of himself.  Knowing that their is a reason can be positive because otherwise the child will label themselves as being stupid or weird.  And whether or not a child is diagnosed they will get labeled by those they come into contact with because they do stick out because of their behaviours or language or sensory issues etc.  There are many strengths and positives to being on the spectrum which are also worth knowing about as well.