The first place to start is having your children assessed by a professional with experience diagnosing autism and other disabilities. Your children's pediatrician should be able to provide you with a referal. This is just step one of a long-term process of helping your children recieve the services they need, but there is hope and the possibility of improvement. Once your children have been assessed to determine if diagnoses are appropriate, you'll have a better idea about needed services. It sounds like your children are also in need of individualized education plans (IEPs). These require their schools to provide needed services and structure their education in an effective manner. In addition to that, there are a variety of in-home services available in many areas. There is help available for you and your children. Your job is to have them assessed and then follow up to determine services available where you live.
this is a post I'd written on another forum.i thought I would copy and paste as it contains a bit more detail about their problems.
I have 3 sons.my eldest is 9.he was born at term.normal delivery with no complications.i took him home 12 hours later.he was a perfect text book baby apart from being clumsy and having asthma(controlled with inhalers) until he started nursery at 3.
I started to notice he struggled to retain information eg recognising letters/numbers, he has poor pencil grip, his handwriting is awful and he struggles with fine motor skills.he can not ride a bike and struggles with ball skills.he is not very interested in physical activities and prefers to be in his own company or on a one to one basis with adults although he does mix with peers.he finds making friends difficult and can ramble on about a subject of intrest for long periods or time.he doesn't consider people's unwillingness to be in a conversation,their opinions or emotions and will often interrupt people already engaged in a conversation or activity.he is diagnosed with hyper mobility and dyslexia.
I raised concerns but was told it was early days and he would soon pick up.his memory is fantastic and he absorbs all information like a sponge especially with subjects that intrest him.maths, science and computers really are his strong points.his ability exceeds those of his peers but he is not meeting that ability on paper!he also gets confused with remembering more than one verbal instruction at a time.he has a very wide vocab but does use language very literally.
my middle son is 4 and has just started full time school.he was also born at term and developed really well with no indicators of any problems.he was a very alert baby and has never needed a lot of sleep to be full of beans.his physical development has always matched development milestones but his speech and language is delayed and he is having therapy for this without much real improvement.i started to be concerned by his speech and language and understanding around 12-18 months of age.
my son is always active from swinging his legs or playing with his fingers while sitting to jumping up and down to running in circles.he is impulsive, has a short attention span, poor appertite, restless sleep with regular waking, constant tossing and turning while asleep and has issues with not having my attention constantly.he can be destructive, desruptive, has a very short fuse and has a fiery temper.he can have violent tempers which I can't always explain.he will hurt himself and others and almost seems to gain release/pleasure from doing so.he also has issues with leaving me, does not like strangers to come into our home, can need a lot of physical contact (kisses and hugs) and verbal reassurance ( I'm your big boy arnt I? and love you are two things you hear from him very often) but is selective about times he will allow in one within his physical space. he likes to stick to routines at bedtime etc, likes to be told the next 2/3 things we are going to do,follow the same routes to school etc and can get adgetated / upset or angry if this doesn't happen.he likes to feel in control of his surroundings and people in them at all times.he always has bits of plastic, toys etc in his mouth and likes to carry small toys that fit in the palm of his hand especially when he's feeling anxiety.he shows very little if any awareness of danger or consequences.
school is a different matter though.he almost regresses into himself, doesn't mix with peers very well, prefers adult company, soils himself 2-3 times a week, is very tactile with adults ( needs to be hugged or touching a piece of their clothing) , is finding learning to read, write and recognise/ memorise letters/ numbers etc difficult.he displays no aggressive or disruptive behaviours at all!other than his speech and language delay the school do not see that he has problems.
my youngest son is 2 and was born at term with no complications.he has asthma but is otherwise healthy.he quite early on displayed signs of delays in physical development, understanding of language and intended use of toys etc and speech and language.he functions at approx 6-12 months behind in all areas.at 15 months his speech and social skills totally vanished!we are almost back to the point we were at then.
he has an abnormally high pain tolerance, aggressive outbursts towards himself others and physical objects when tired, scared, angry or frustrated.he never seems to feel full and will constantly eat if allowed to.he is very selective about what foods he will eat.he doesn't like the feel of grass,sand or anything slimy or sticky.he also puts small unedible objects in his mouth a lot.
he does not mix with children very well and does not like to be in unfamiliar surroundings or around unfamiliar people and will avert eye contact with people he doesn't know or is unsure of.he can get can get really upset/angry in this situation.he can play along side but not actually with other children.on times in his own world absorbed in a repetitive activity.he can also be extremely possessive of certain toys and belongings. he makes grunting noises as a means of communication and screams a lot. if you ask him a question he mostly just repeats it back to you or if it has options he just says the last one.if you ask him the same question straight after but swap the options around he will again repeat the last one which could be totally different!
he has recognised delays and receives support through play therapies and is awaiting speech and language therapy.
I'm at my wits end and do not know where to turn for help!are my sons conditions connected and what could cause these problems?please help me!!??could they all have a type of autism?
I feel my children need assessing but I keep getting told things like maybe we should wait until next term and review them again etc which makes me wonder if im right or not?!would you be concerned?i don't want to feel like ive let my children down but I don't want to be the pushy parent that is wrong! my eldest two have support plans but frankly they are shocking!i don't feel they support them with all of their problems but as they are not funded due to not having a diagnosis the school says they can't support them anymore than they are.(we are in the uk) i worry I'm over reacting I guess??!!
I read your cry for help and its brought tears to my eyes. Many of the behaviors you describe from all three of your boys, I saw in my son. I knew there was something wrong but no one would listen including his pediatrician. It became noticeable when he was 2yrs old. Lack of speech, odd ways of playing with toys and on and on . The doctor said, oh he will grow out of it, boys are slower than girls. This went on for years . I took its upon my self to study up and found out that my son exibited many characteristics of someone with autisum. From that point on I had to become my son's advocate for rights. I wouldnt take no for and answer . Even with all of my determination, her wasn't diagnoised until her was 10yrs old. Insist that your pediatrician give you a referral for your boys to bed evaluated and then diagnoised. Also request evaluations by the school psychologist for autisum. I hope this helps a little.
Thank you.i have made a fuss with the school and have a meeting Thursday with them to discuss the boys difficulties and my concerns more.fingers crossed this is the boys getting the support they need!aspergers has been mentioned as a possibility xxxx
I just wanted to let you know my eldest 2 sons are now waiting for assessment with the school paediatrician and psychologist :-)