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Can someone explain
Can someone explain why kids with Aspergers can't look you in the eyes??? I don't understand that. What do these kids say about it, are they uncomfortable?
Thank you Sally!! You are a wealth of information. It's very difficult for me to try to wrap my thoughts around these concepts. It's like grasping and understanding quantum physics, okay that's an exaggeration, but you get my point.(LOL)
I'm still on the fence as to weather or not he has Aspergers. He doesn't like to look at his teacher. I asked him why and he told me "it makes me feel shy". I gave him a tip, to look at the bridge of her nose instead. Then he refused to look at me and I asked him why he wouldn't look at me, he said, " I'm not interested with what your saying" He can be such a pip at times.
I'm still on the fence as to weather or not he has Aspergers. He doesn't like to look at his teacher. I asked him why and he told me "it makes me feel shy". I gave him a tip, to look at the bridge of her nose instead. Then he refused to look at me and I asked him why he wouldn't look at me, he said, " I'm not interested with what your saying" He can be such a pip at times.
There seems to be a couple of explanations.
The first one is that it is uncomfortable, even painful for them. We don't understand that, but we just have to accept that that is how it makes them feel.
The second is that they have difficulties multi-tasking from a sensory point of view. So, if they look at you they become focused on 'looking' and therefore don't hearing what is said to them or what is going on in the wider environment. So they avoid making eye contact so that they actually get an understanding of what is being said. A child like this in the classroom may get easily distracted by visual stimuli or other sensory stimuli and therefore 'miss' what is actually being taught because they cannot look, listen, write, think etc at the same time.
The third reason is down to attention and focus. This is explained rather like wiring. Our brains are wired up differently to theirs and we can therefore pay attention to a number of things at the same time eg. talk whilst listening and looking and being aware of what is in the wider environment. Someone with this type of diffculty will only be able to put their attention into one thing at a time. Therefore they may be able to talk at someone, but not be able to talk, wait and listen to the response of the other person. If you think of social interaction rather like a tennis match with it passing between the two players like the tennis ball being hit back and forth. Someone with attention and focus (and sensory) difficulties can either keep hitting the ball, or keep receiving the ball, but cannot do both at the same time. Therefore information is either coming in or going out. So in a social interaction they might talk at someone, or listen to what is being said but be unable to gather their thoughts and give a response at that time. Avoiding eye contact helps them keep their focus as it is one less thing to be trying to do.
I have heard many times of children coming out of school having been given a message to give to their parents. However, if they have been made to 'look at the teacher' whilst they were given the message there is a very good chance that the child will not have heard anything.
Infact most successful interaction with children or adults who have great difficulty with this is to avoid eye contact, and don't even expect them to be facing you. When you are in the same room say their name until they acknowledge they are listening, and then 'talk to the wall'. By talking, and not demanding their attention in the way we expect (ie. looking at us and facing us), they appear to be able to take in what is said because that is what they are concentrating on.
A woman called Olga Bogdashina has written several good books called "Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autism and Aspergers", "View From the Bridge", (I can't remember all their names). She gives a very good insight into how those on the spectrum 'perceive' information. It is different to ours, and how we receive sensory information affects our perception, affects our world picture.
Does that make any sense at all?
Google Sensory Integration Disorder as well as Auditory Processing Disorder - these conditions frequently accompany a spectrum disorder, and by reading about them you might get a better idea of the kinds of difficulties they experience.
And it also has to be remembered that these children do develop, and difficulties they have at 2 might be totally different at age 5. My son had alot of sensory issues as a toddler. Now he is 8 and has learnt alot of coping strategies himself. Sensory Issues are not a major barrier for him now. Now he is becoming more social and social interaction difficulties are causing him more problems along with his speech difficulties (he is diagnosed with Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder). And, if his speech develops significantly, as an adult it might become harder to 'identify' that he is on the spectrum.
The first one is that it is uncomfortable, even painful for them. We don't understand that, but we just have to accept that that is how it makes them feel.
The second is that they have difficulties multi-tasking from a sensory point of view. So, if they look at you they become focused on 'looking' and therefore don't hearing what is said to them or what is going on in the wider environment. So they avoid making eye contact so that they actually get an understanding of what is being said. A child like this in the classroom may get easily distracted by visual stimuli or other sensory stimuli and therefore 'miss' what is actually being taught because they cannot look, listen, write, think etc at the same time.
The third reason is down to attention and focus. This is explained rather like wiring. Our brains are wired up differently to theirs and we can therefore pay attention to a number of things at the same time eg. talk whilst listening and looking and being aware of what is in the wider environment. Someone with this type of diffculty will only be able to put their attention into one thing at a time. Therefore they may be able to talk at someone, but not be able to talk, wait and listen to the response of the other person. If you think of social interaction rather like a tennis match with it passing between the two players like the tennis ball being hit back and forth. Someone with attention and focus (and sensory) difficulties can either keep hitting the ball, or keep receiving the ball, but cannot do both at the same time. Therefore information is either coming in or going out. So in a social interaction they might talk at someone, or listen to what is being said but be unable to gather their thoughts and give a response at that time. Avoiding eye contact helps them keep their focus as it is one less thing to be trying to do.
I have heard many times of children coming out of school having been given a message to give to their parents. However, if they have been made to 'look at the teacher' whilst they were given the message there is a very good chance that the child will not have heard anything.
Infact most successful interaction with children or adults who have great difficulty with this is to avoid eye contact, and don't even expect them to be facing you. When you are in the same room say their name until they acknowledge they are listening, and then 'talk to the wall'. By talking, and not demanding their attention in the way we expect (ie. looking at us and facing us), they appear to be able to take in what is said because that is what they are concentrating on.
A woman called Olga Bogdashina has written several good books called "Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autism and Aspergers", "View From the Bridge", (I can't remember all their names). She gives a very good insight into how those on the spectrum 'perceive' information. It is different to ours, and how we receive sensory information affects our perception, affects our world picture.
Does that make any sense at all?
Google Sensory Integration Disorder as well as Auditory Processing Disorder - these conditions frequently accompany a spectrum disorder, and by reading about them you might get a better idea of the kinds of difficulties they experience.
And it also has to be remembered that these children do develop, and difficulties they have at 2 might be totally different at age 5. My son had alot of sensory issues as a toddler. Now he is 8 and has learnt alot of coping strategies himself. Sensory Issues are not a major barrier for him now. Now he is becoming more social and social interaction difficulties are causing him more problems along with his speech difficulties (he is diagnosed with Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder). And, if his speech develops significantly, as an adult it might become harder to 'identify' that he is on the spectrum.
Okay, last question, for now. Can a child with Aspergers or Autism have a staring contest with you??
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Although children on the autism spectrum sometimes do not develop eye contact as typically developing children do, it is important to recognize that eye contact and other absent social behaviors can be taught and encouraged. Social skills training allows children with autism spectrum disorders to become more fully integrated with their typical peers and to benefit more fully from these opportunities.
Not everyone on the spectrum even has this problem. Alot of adults have managed the 'appearing to look at you' but they are looking just over your shoulder or some other part of the face.
There is also the aspect that you mentioned, that they aren't interested because it doesn't mean anything to them. There are many, if not all, those on the spectrum have difficulties with social interactions, including 'chatting' and the 'two way' system of giving and receiving information. Those on the spectrum tend to talk at you and appear not to be interested in getting your opinion or any response from you about what they are talking about. Or they may ask you for information, but again there isn't this two way 'chat'. If they are verbal, speech is usually around getting their needs met ie. what they want to eat, drink, do, watch on TV/computer and tell you about something that interests them. My son never tells me about his day at school, or ask me what i've been doing, or what i'm thinking/feeling etc. If I give him that information eg. today I did xxxx and xxxx happened - he understands that perfectly. But he just doesn't seem to know how to engage in this type of conversation. If I am talking he can frequently tell me 'that's enough you can stop now'. So he obviously doesn't even like hearing chatter. But then my son has high functioning autism and not Aspergers.
There is also the aspect that you mentioned, that they aren't interested because it doesn't mean anything to them. There are many, if not all, those on the spectrum have difficulties with social interactions, including 'chatting' and the 'two way' system of giving and receiving information. Those on the spectrum tend to talk at you and appear not to be interested in getting your opinion or any response from you about what they are talking about. Or they may ask you for information, but again there isn't this two way 'chat'. If they are verbal, speech is usually around getting their needs met ie. what they want to eat, drink, do, watch on TV/computer and tell you about something that interests them. My son never tells me about his day at school, or ask me what i've been doing, or what i'm thinking/feeling etc. If I give him that information eg. today I did xxxx and xxxx happened - he understands that perfectly. But he just doesn't seem to know how to engage in this type of conversation. If I am talking he can frequently tell me 'that's enough you can stop now'. So he obviously doesn't even like hearing chatter. But then my son has high functioning autism and not Aspergers.
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