Is my 7 year olds son wish to be a girl, obsession due to his Autism

[gemmamisty]

Hi there,
I have a 7 year old son with high functioning ASD. He was diagnosed at the age of three and is attending a school for children with asd. It is mainly boys due to the natural male to female ratio of asd and his class is only boys (8 boys). My son has grown up with male and females but has always preffered female company to male, he has only just started to show an interest in the male members of the family and it's a pretty low key. He did not play with toys until he was four and and wanted to play with dolls only. He now plays with a variety of toys, all specific to girls, polly pocket, barbie petites, bratz and my little pony. We tried to get him into mr.men and he likes them a little but prefers little miss. We tried to get him into lego and he does like it but will only play with the female figures. He also wants to wear girls clothing which has become a huge problem, i try to compromise with pink boys t-shirts and skinny fit trousers but we have constant battles. To be honest i personally don't mind if he wears a skirt or dress but if it's all obsession then i'll be confusing him more. My partner and school both think he should only wear boys clothing and act like a boy (he uses a girly voice and movements). He wanted to go to ballet, i took him and amazingly he stayed focused a whole term of classes but then we came back to the problem about what he was wearing, he wanted to wear the pink clothing that the girls wear. He states he wants to be a girl. He is very intelligent with an almost photographic memory. He knows anatomy and says he wants to have a vagina not a penis. He has said he wants to be a girl from the age of three and despite lots and lots of positive reinforcements, numerous social stories, he is still firm with his wish. What i really really need to know is, is this obssession?is he a girl trapped in a boys body? Can i let him wear girls clothing?
Thank you for your time
Gem

[Rachel Thompson, Ph.D., BCBA]

I recommend that you try to identify a local professional who specializes in gender issues like those that you describe. In the meantime, your approach seems reasonable. Continue to expose him to wide variety of toys and try not to make a big deal about his choices. Also, it seems reasonable to allow him to select preferred clothes, while limiting his options to those that are more gender neutral.

[gemmamisty]

Thank you for answering, i shall try to find a proffessional in gender issues, i think thats a very good idea. Thanks again