Aa
could a child get to 12 yrs with realising they have got Autism
I have always said that my daughter is hard work, but my self and husband keep things really in order! When it comes to the children going to bed, lies ,doing what they want just behavior really!
But we have 3 girls and the middle one I find that she is always in her own plant, My older child says teachers who do not teach my middle child are always saying she does not do as she is told!She really believes she has not done things when she has done it and we have watched her!She will go under her bed when she has be told off! It goes on and on, but I could not tell you she is a naughty child ,but she does not take the word NO very well,Plus any body could say something is going to happen and if it is what she wants to do that is it,it is written in stone and we have got all on to tell her it is not happening! She ies for know reason as well and believe what she is saying she can not see what is lie and what is the truth, I asked her why she wants to be on her own and she says she feels she can deal with things if nobody is there .She gets angry when people are with her and get frustrated!It helps her settle down when she is not with people!
Please help ! I have asked and waiting to see how she is in her lessons at school , but I feel she is the class clown but she is happy for this as she thinks every one like her! But they are laughing at her!
But we have 3 girls and the middle one I find that she is always in her own plant, My older child says teachers who do not teach my middle child are always saying she does not do as she is told!She really believes she has not done things when she has done it and we have watched her!She will go under her bed when she has be told off! It goes on and on, but I could not tell you she is a naughty child ,but she does not take the word NO very well,Plus any body could say something is going to happen and if it is what she wants to do that is it,it is written in stone and we have got all on to tell her it is not happening! She ies for know reason as well and believe what she is saying she can not see what is lie and what is the truth, I asked her why she wants to be on her own and she says she feels she can deal with things if nobody is there .She gets angry when people are with her and get frustrated!It helps her settle down when she is not with people!
Please help ! I have asked and waiting to see how she is in her lessons at school , but I feel she is the class clown but she is happy for this as she thinks every one like her! But they are laughing at her!
Yes, these smart kids can be very manipulative & take the role on. It is very hard to figure out what behavior is due to disability, or what is due to being a brat. (What kid isn't a brat sometimes?!) However, you have to push forward through that to get help & come out the other end.
Has the school done any kind of testing on your daughter? Does she have an IEP? If not, you should request that they do an evaluation for special education services. By law, if you request it, they have to do it. This is the only way you are going to get any help from the school. By the way, my daughter is also very loud, yells all the time, & does not even realize it. She cannot calm down, either, & is put in a seclusion room (basically a closet) almost daily at school because she is tantruming. (I don't necessarily agree with this tactic.) She is also extremely intelligent--was reading at a 2nd grade level at age 3, and was IQ tested in the top 1% of the population then, too. It is very hard for people to understand how she can be so smart & act how she does. Not many people get Asperger's. Good luck, and keep us posted!
I have a 10 year old daughter with Asperger Syndrome who also lies, even if we watch her do someting, she will deny it. She will twist "reality" to whatever it is she wants to believe. I'm sure it is some kind of coping mechanism for them, and I wish I knew how to get them to realize the difference between their reality & ours, because I'm very worried about my daughter as well. I look forward to hearing other responses.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Based on your description I would take your daughter to be evaluated by a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist to see if she has a diagnosable syndrome for which treatment could be prescribed. I would also insist that you school system provide whatever testing is available to see if she meets the requirements for an IEP and specialized educational services.
Good luck.
Good luck.
My doctor just diagnosed a case of Aspergers for 1 32 year old hedge fund manager - anything is possible. You need to get her tested - but don't automatically assume autism -certain behaviors are on many lists.
Intelligence has nothing to do with thi s- my fourth grader was happily devouring David Copperfield as he went on to his Special Ed bus this morning. He could also read at three - bu the was not functioing well in the day to day school set up.
Either way, she is having difficulties and they need to be addressed. If she is smart the standard school psych-ed is not going to be enough. You may want to ask for some other testing - like a NESPY - which may have to be done off site (if the situation is bad most schools will agree to pay for it - but you may have a struggle). Then get her an IEP - the schools really can't do much without an IEP.
Good luck, I was a nightmare of a child - maybe that is where my son gets it from. Lying in itself is not assoiciated with autism per se. Many people with Asperger's are incredibly honest. So you have to ask yourself - is it lying - or a different perception. Is your child acting out for other reasons? My middle kid (the most perfectly behaved child at school is the one who hits the triggers at home - she lies, breaks her siblings things on purpose, etc. - she is adored at school). My son is literal - we are the ones usually accused of lying because he keeps us to the very letter of whatever agreement we keep. His "lying" is usually a promise he makes at the time - like if you let me read for 20 minutes I will do myhomework - then he gets so involved with what he is doing that he tries to negate the promise.
For instance, it is state test prep time. If his teacher sends home a pack - no problem. He will do math for 2 hours straight because it is homework. If I try to get him to do it - here comes the fireworks.
You failed to mention any of the other crteria - like rigid thinking, does she have any obsessions, does she look people in the face when she is talking to you, does she do any repetative (almost mindless behaviors) in order to calm down. Does she speak in an odd, robotic cadence (my son doesn't - but then he is very borderline). He, on the other hand, uses the most precise vocabulary in the world.
The psycho-ed is important. According to my son's multitude of doctors, the higher the IQ - the more they are able to compensate. Sam's inferential skills are through the roof - but he also reads in excess of 2,000 books a year - he knows the patterns. People with Aspergers are highly logical and analytical. Many are pronse to sensory issues - does the school overwhelm her. Mys son is very sensitive to noise and it distracted him to the point that he was hiding out in bathrooms all day. Is she in middle school - that is a lot of transitioning. She may need a quiet space to reorganize every day.
There is a great book by Dr. Greene called the "Explosive Child". He is the consulting psychiatrist at my son's school. I believe he is at Harvard and my psychologist tells me tht they use his methods at the pediatric psychiatric war at Boston Hospital with great success (though he is more of a Barkley disciple in the ABA world - so you may want to check out Barkley's work). It goves ypu great insight to these type of personalities - Asperger's or not.
We have been at this for about three years now - it has gotten so much better. It is time for your family to go oin - as one doctor told us - this is as much about training the parents as it is the child. I also have an "explosive personality" and I had to learn to deal with one. Our doctors couldn't have found a more mismatched parent-child relationship.
Cheer up - the other piece of great advice I had from this doctor - when the school was wearing us down - was leave it at school. We tend to view our children as a reflection of ourselves - so when the school calls we feel as if we are being judged as bad parents. Your relationship with your child is 20X more important than your relationship with his/her school. Once we got over that - we really became great advocates for him. Your child is just a temporary thing that the school has to deal with - just one of many students (some with bigger problems) - so do not get overwhelmed by their comments. Your relationship with your child is forever.
Good Luck,
Susan NYC
Intelligence has nothing to do with thi s- my fourth grader was happily devouring David Copperfield as he went on to his Special Ed bus this morning. He could also read at three - bu the was not functioing well in the day to day school set up.
Either way, she is having difficulties and they need to be addressed. If she is smart the standard school psych-ed is not going to be enough. You may want to ask for some other testing - like a NESPY - which may have to be done off site (if the situation is bad most schools will agree to pay for it - but you may have a struggle). Then get her an IEP - the schools really can't do much without an IEP.
Good luck, I was a nightmare of a child - maybe that is where my son gets it from. Lying in itself is not assoiciated with autism per se. Many people with Asperger's are incredibly honest. So you have to ask yourself - is it lying - or a different perception. Is your child acting out for other reasons? My middle kid (the most perfectly behaved child at school is the one who hits the triggers at home - she lies, breaks her siblings things on purpose, etc. - she is adored at school). My son is literal - we are the ones usually accused of lying because he keeps us to the very letter of whatever agreement we keep. His "lying" is usually a promise he makes at the time - like if you let me read for 20 minutes I will do myhomework - then he gets so involved with what he is doing that he tries to negate the promise.
For instance, it is state test prep time. If his teacher sends home a pack - no problem. He will do math for 2 hours straight because it is homework. If I try to get him to do it - here comes the fireworks.
You failed to mention any of the other crteria - like rigid thinking, does she have any obsessions, does she look people in the face when she is talking to you, does she do any repetative (almost mindless behaviors) in order to calm down. Does she speak in an odd, robotic cadence (my son doesn't - but then he is very borderline). He, on the other hand, uses the most precise vocabulary in the world.
The psycho-ed is important. According to my son's multitude of doctors, the higher the IQ - the more they are able to compensate. Sam's inferential skills are through the roof - but he also reads in excess of 2,000 books a year - he knows the patterns. People with Aspergers are highly logical and analytical. Many are pronse to sensory issues - does the school overwhelm her. Mys son is very sensitive to noise and it distracted him to the point that he was hiding out in bathrooms all day. Is she in middle school - that is a lot of transitioning. She may need a quiet space to reorganize every day.
There is a great book by Dr. Greene called the "Explosive Child". He is the consulting psychiatrist at my son's school. I believe he is at Harvard and my psychologist tells me tht they use his methods at the pediatric psychiatric war at Boston Hospital with great success (though he is more of a Barkley disciple in the ABA world - so you may want to check out Barkley's work). It goves ypu great insight to these type of personalities - Asperger's or not.
We have been at this for about three years now - it has gotten so much better. It is time for your family to go oin - as one doctor told us - this is as much about training the parents as it is the child. I also have an "explosive personality" and I had to learn to deal with one. Our doctors couldn't have found a more mismatched parent-child relationship.
Cheer up - the other piece of great advice I had from this doctor - when the school was wearing us down - was leave it at school. We tend to view our children as a reflection of ourselves - so when the school calls we feel as if we are being judged as bad parents. Your relationship with your child is 20X more important than your relationship with his/her school. Once we got over that - we really became great advocates for him. Your child is just a temporary thing that the school has to deal with - just one of many students (some with bigger problems) - so do not get overwhelmed by their comments. Your relationship with your child is forever.
Good Luck,
Susan NYC
Thank you for your comments and i will keep you up to date! but I have got a big headache I know that! lol
Hi again ,
I New a long time ago things were not right but I have been able to keep her right but now she is up at secondary school it is getting harder to control the out bursts! And more and more people are commenting on her!
She is very loud , they thought that she would not do well in her sats at primary school but she got the top marks and they have put her in top group at Secondary school but her behavior does not come close to what she achives in her exams! She has just had a maths test and she has come top! The teacher says she just can not relax at all! But I feel if I told her we are looking into everything she would take the role on and it would get worse! She said this morning she trys to be good but she can not understand why we are upset with her as she does nothing wrong and did a tick chart to try and stay good , but she does not know why we are moaning at her! See this is the first time I have asked the school to look at it!
Thank you Ally110169
I New a long time ago things were not right but I have been able to keep her right but now she is up at secondary school it is getting harder to control the out bursts! And more and more people are commenting on her!
She is very loud , they thought that she would not do well in her sats at primary school but she got the top marks and they have put her in top group at Secondary school but her behavior does not come close to what she achives in her exams! She has just had a maths test and she has come top! The teacher says she just can not relax at all! But I feel if I told her we are looking into everything she would take the role on and it would get worse! She said this morning she trys to be good but she can not understand why we are upset with her as she does nothing wrong and did a tick chart to try and stay good , but she does not know why we are moaning at her! See this is the first time I have asked the school to look at it!
Thank you Ally110169
Hi My daughters school has just been on the phone to me and they have had teachers compilainging about her! And they feel there is a problem.They say she can not charm down and she is very loud!
They are worried about her, but i have not got any one saying what it is yet but I am not on my own as the school is saying something is just not quite right with her!
I do feel this is a good thing as it is just not me saying it!
I feel the school has seen it as well!
Does anybody feel this will help me to get her help?
She really thinks what she is saying or doing is the right thing!
But it is not ! But can not make her understand that she is not right1
Thank you Ally110169
They are worried about her, but i have not got any one saying what it is yet but I am not on my own as the school is saying something is just not quite right with her!
I do feel this is a good thing as it is just not me saying it!
I feel the school has seen it as well!
Does anybody feel this will help me to get her help?
She really thinks what she is saying or doing is the right thing!
But it is not ! But can not make her understand that she is not right1
Thank you Ally110169
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