Out of Control Five Year Old

[steberg]

We are very concerned about our five year old daughter. She has always had issues with tantrums and defiant behaviour but this past weekend the lid just came off and it hasn't gotten back on yet (I don' t  know if this has anything to do with it but her grandparents came into town -- they are gone now). She refuses to go to school, she has several really severe tantrum/meltdowns a day, to the point of running out into the street naked. She displays a lot of OCD behavior, perfection-type things just lately a germ phobia. She is very bright and can be an angel (though that side hasn't come out lately.) Both my wife and myself have had to miss a lot of work because we just cannot leave her with her other grandmother or a caregiver like this. We have an appointment today to see a behavior specialist but at this point we have to consider putting her in some facility because she is destroying our lives.

[Rachel Thompson, Ph.D., BCBA]

I would strongly encourage you to visit the website of the Behavior Analyst Certification Board ((http://www.bacb.com/) where you will find a registry of certified behavior analysts. A local behavior analyst would be able to conduct the appropriate assessments and make recommendations for a behavioral intervention or to recommend appropriate local resources. In the meantime, do your best to keep your family and your child safe. Keep doors locked when possible and keep your child within arm's reach when outdoors or near an unlocked door.

It is not possible or appropriate for me to make specific recommendations about such dangerous behavior in this format. But, it is important for you to know that there are behavioral interventions that are usually very successful in reducing tantrums and noncompliance, which appear to be your child's most serious current issues.

[steberg]

Thank you so much for your advice and support. It was a very good meeting with the therapist. She really seems to know her stuff and gave us some good strategies. Needless to say our daughter will be seeing her weekly for the forseeable future. Mainly it gave us hope and some structure and guidance that we sorely needed. And, thankfully (hope I'm not jinxing myself) I think the stresstantrums is (we are praying) losing some steam. The therapist says it will get worse before it gets better, but that that is a sign we are making progress. She also says we'll have to determine whether it is more anxiety issue or more behavioral issue (or I suppose it could be a combination.) I'm just going into detail here so that maybe this could help others going through the things we are. Also she recommended the 123 Magic program, and coincidentally we are reading that very book! Does anyone have any thought about this book/program? It seems to make good sense and dovetails with a lot of what we see working out there (including some of the techniques seen on "Supernanny.") Anyway, this forum has been a lot of help and we greatly appreciate the input and support. Bottom line: we love this kid and we will move heaven and earth until she is okay and happy.

[MaryannesMom]

Just wondering how your appt. went with the behavior specialist?  I hope things start looking up for you.  I have been where you are, and it is not a good place.  Good luck and keep us posted.

[steberg]

Thank you Dr. Thompson. I believe the specialist we are seeing today fits the bill of what you are recommending, she is licensed in child anxiety disorder/ocd along with other behavior disorders. Thank you for your input.