Super stressed

[MambaJamba]

Hi. My question is regarding my (almost) 3 year old son. At his 2 yr wellness check my ped. referred him to early intervention for speech delay. His expressive speech was found to be 50% delayed. It was also noted that he had a short attention span, high activity level, and was "sensory seeking". At the time I was working full-time and his behavior was a little off. He would jump on things, get incredibly frustrated, have tantrums, and hit me. The frustration was mainly when he would point for something and I couldn't figure out what he wanted. I ended up staying home with him and he started receiving speech and special instruction once a week. His behavior improved, but his speech progressed very slowly.  He never seemed to have an issue with understanding me. It was hard to tell how much of the behavior was attention seeking (with me at work so much). On the other hand is social, he does initate contact and play with other children. He is bummed out if no other children are at the playground. He started attending a preschool for children with disabilities once a week as well and thrived. He also started receiving additional speech once a week, and after introducing signing to him- and I'm now losing track of all the new words he's saying. He can't make any sounds that involve blowing air through his lips, like "stop". He says "dop". He's started to string two words together, and said a four word sentence including "I" at the store the other day. When he was younger he had trouble maintaining words. For instance, one week he'd be saying hat, bye, and ball. The next week it'd be hat, hello, and "ditty" for kitty. He had trouble imitating. He'd also have a hard time saying a word he knew, like ball, on demand- but would just say it spontaneously.

[Sally44]

I'm a parent of a 7 year old boy with an autistic spectrum disorder.  My understanding is that 'delay' means that the child is not showing age appropriate skills in that particular area.  That being the case any autistic child could be called delayed with their speech, their social interaction, etc.  So could children with other diagnosis such as ADHD.  But to get a diagnosis of any disorder the child has to show enough of the charteristics in each category.  If they don't they might get no diagnosis, or it might mention traits of ....., or it might be PDD NOS ie. a pervasive developmental delay not otherwise specified, which basically means delays in certain areas but not enough of them or not in all the categories to get a full diagnosis.
As your son is just 3, he is just at that age when he will be becoming more social.  If there are any problems in that area then it will begin to show itself from this age onwards. If you go onto the autism forum page and click on the Health Page link at the top right hand side of the page I have posted the diagnostic criteria under DSM IV for autism, and parents have posted examples of their childrens' behaviour that fitted those criteria.  This will give you practical examples of what the professionals are looking for.
My advice would be to get as much therapy for your child as you can now whilst he is young and get supports in place for nursery and school.  It might be that your child has a few ADHD traits and maybe some autistic ones.  Sometimes it is just a case of having to wait and see how he develops.  But there are lots of things you can be doing.
You are already seeing Speech and Language Therapy.  
If your son has any sensory issues ie. over or under sensitive to certain things or seeks spinning, bouncing etc then an Occupational Therapist is the person you need to be referred to.
I was recommended by both Occupational Therapy and Physiotherapy to get my child crawling eg. through tubes, under the duvet etc because certain movements improve the development of the brain.  Trampolining is also good because it helps the sensory side whilst also improving co-ordination, listening skills (because you have to listen to the instructions).  It can also help you highlight certain problems, for example my son found it very hard to copy certain movements demonstrating he has some cognitive/motor problems which will cause him difficulties in classroom environments.  But that is for later.  Now you want stuff that is age appropriate for a 3 year old.  So, if I were you, instead of just waiting to be referred you could find an OT and Physiotherapist who have experience with childhood development and autism/ADHD and either ask them to come and assess your son privately (if you have the money), or you could be cheeky and just ask for 10 minutes worth of advice over the phone.  There really is alot of physical stuff you could be doing playing with your son that will improve his brain development.
I've wandered away from your question somewhat.  But if you imagine an apply salad = a typically developing child, a banana salad = diagnosis of autism, and a pineapple salad = diagnosis of ADHD etc etc, then you will clearly see that some children are a mixed salad, or maybe apple salad with two pieces of banana.  If you look at it that way it might make it easier to understand.

[MambaJamba]

He was just evaluated by this school as being delayed in every area except gross motor. And it seems all anyone at school can mention is "PDD". He does not have repetitive speech, is not excelled in any area, plays appropriately with toys, and demonstrates "shared attention". He is not overly sensitive to sensation and has no "unusual" fears. He will run or hop throughout the house which seems repetitive, but he seems to be burning energy. He does not prefer it to normal play and is easily redirected. My question is, can a child can be be "on the spectrum" without having those typical behaviors? Can children be delayed in several areas and not be Autistic or have PDD-NOS?