Have you looked at the clinical diagnostic criteria under DSM IV for Aspergers. That will give you a list of the things that professionals will be looking for. If they are saying that your daughter does not tick all the boxes, ask them what it is that she doesn't have/do. As a diagnosis can only be made after observations that is usually why it takes so long. It took me 18 months to get a diagnosis of an Autistic Spectrum Disorder for my son and it took a further year on top of that to get any kind of support for him in school. There is also the possibility that your daughter has certain Aspergers traits but not enough of all the things they are looking for to give a diagnosis.
I would recommend finding out what the criteria is, how your daughter doesn't fulfil it, and read up about Aspergers.
You don't say how old your daughter is. Sometimes things become more apparent by a certain age when some skills should be evident. If they are missing that would indicate a problem, but prior to that age this skill maybe missing in all children. So sometimes it can be a waiting game.
If, at the end of it, you are not happy with the outcome, you can ask for a second opinion. But in the meantime try to find out as much as you can so that you are informed.
The only other thing I can suggest is getting in touch with a Solicitor who deals with special educational needs law and asking him if he can recommend an Independent Educational Psychologist who could assess her independently. You may need to get other professionals reports which will be expensive, unless you qualify for some form of legal aid. It's just a thought, but it will get your problem resolved much quicker and because the experts are independent they are going to say exactly the level of support she needs rather than a state professional who will always have in mind what the state can afford.
What about PDD-NOS? Have they suggested that at all? From what I understand, that's a diagnosis when the child has some features of Asperger's or Autism, but not all. You may want to find out about that as well.
I have found the following different criterias, all about Aspergers. What are your daughters strengths/weaknesses in relation to these:-
DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER (DSM IV)
A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction,
as manifested by at least two of the following:
1) marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviours such
as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures
to regulate social interaction;
2) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental
level;
3) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests or
achievments with other people (eg: by a lack of showing, bringing,
or pointing out objects of interest to other people);
4) lack of social or emotional reciprocity.
B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behaviour, interests,
and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
1) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and
restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity
or focus;
2) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines
or rituals;
3) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (eg: hand or finger
flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements);
4) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects
C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social,
occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language
(eg: single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by
age 3 years).
E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in
the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behaviour
(other than social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in
childhood.
F. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental
Disorder, or Schizophrenia.
DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER (GILLBERG, 1991)
A. Severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction as manifested by at
least two of the following four:
1. Inability to interact with peers.
2. Lack of desire to interact with peers.
3. Lack of appreciation of social cues.
4. Socially and emotionally inappropriate behaviour.
B. All-absorbing narrow interest, as manifested by at least one of the
following three:
1. Exclusion of other activities.
2. Repetitive adherence.
3. More rote than meaning.
C. Speech and language problems, as manifested by at least three of the
following five:
1. Delayed development of language.
2. Superficially perfect expressive language.
3. Formal, pedantic language.
4. Odd prosody, peculiar voice characteristics.
5. Impairment of comprehension, including misinterpretations of
literal/implied meanings.
D. Non-verbal communication problems, as manifested by at least
one of the following five:
1. Limited use of gestures.
2. Clumsy/gauche body language.
3. Limited facial expression.
4. Inappropriate expression.
5. Peculiar, stiff gaze.
E. Motor clumsiness, as documented by poor performance on
neurodevelopmental examination.
DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER (SZATMARI, ET AL. 1989)
A. Solitary, as manifested by at least two of the following four:
1. No close friends.
2. Avoids others.
3. No interest in making friends.
4. A loner.
B. Impaired social interaction, as manifested by at least one of the
following five:
1. Approaches others only to have own needs met.
2. A clumsy social approach.
3. One-sided responses to peers.
4. Difficulty sensing feelings of others.
5. Detached from feelings of others.
C. Impaired non-verbal communication, as manifested by at least one
of the following seven:
1. Limited facial expression.
2. Unable to read emotion from facial expressions of child.
3. Unable to give messages with eyes.
4. Does not look at others.
5. Does not use hands to express oneself.
6. Gestures are large and clumsy.
7. Comes too close to others.
D. Odd speech, as manifested by at least two of the following six:
1. abnormalities in inflection.
2. talks too much.
3. talks too little.
4. lack of cohesion to conversation.
5. idiosyncratic use of words.
6. repetitive patterns of speech.
E. Does not meet criteria for Autistic Disorder.
DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER (ICD-10, WHO, 1992)
A. A lack of any clinically significant general delay in language or
cognitive development. Diagnosis requires that single words should have
developed by two years of age and that communicative phrases be used by
three years of age or earlier. Self-help skills, adaptive behaviour and
curiosity about the environment during the first three years should be at a
level consistent with normal intellectual development. Motor milestones may
be somewhat delayed and motor clumsiness is usual (although not a necessary
feature).
B. Qualitative impairment in reciprocal social interaction.
(Criteria as for autism, see above).
C. Restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behaviour,
interests and activities. (Criteria as for autism, see above).
Return to my autism page
I imagine that the professionals assessing your daughter describe her as “really tricky” it does mean that she doesn’t “fit neatly” into a single diagnostic category. That probably means that she has some features that would contribute to a diagnosis of Asperger’s Disorder. Because Asperger’s Disorder is a behaviorally defined disorder (i.e., there is something like a blood that doctors can rely on for a diagnosis) it does take time and, ideally, multiple interactions and assessment with an individual to arrive at the correct diagnosis. This can be a very difficult time for a parent because of all the uncertainty. I can only advise you to try and remain patient and hopefully the information you will gain by the careful assessment of your daughter will pay dividends in the recommendations for her educational placement and treatment. Here is a website where you can find out more about what goes into a diagnosis of Asperger’s Disorder. While I am not endorsing the website, it may help you to further answer some of your questions. http://www.aspergers.com/
So where is she 'failing' as far as a diagnosis is concerned.
my daughter is 10 sally and they are saying she idcates alot but not all i have been going throu this now for 3 years and still no further forward with lots of diffrent people like a langue and speech and child pshgoligists its just mentally wearing me out especially as she is getting older and stronger and so niave with not been very good at social skills she takes things at gospel but thanks for yor help