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Asperger's Syndrome and Masturbation
i'm 21 asperger women. lately i'm becoming aware that i have a sexual body. it's all very confusing. i tend to touch myself in the privates obsessively, even when i have my period. touching myself in privates seems to calm me down as in my anxiety. but thn my body gets really weird feelings and i freaking. one time this sort of clear liquid came out, that made me freak out totally. but still i could touch my private parts all day. me touching my private parts obsessively, is that a Asperger thing or is it some thing else like OCD. Also i read touching private parts makes people mental, am i becoming mental from touching private parts. confused and scared.
Hi Gabby. Yes it is normal for you to have those feelings and for you to touch yourself that way. It becomes a problem when you do those things outside of a private area like your bedroom or bathroom. Talking to your doctor about the problems you are having with it is a great place to start! It's your body and it's important to know how it works and what you can do to control it. It does not make you "mental" at all. It's just that people who you see in public, are not used to seeing private behaviors in public. They use hurtful words because they are not comfortable with seeing it.
Whether it is aspergers or ocd is between you and your doctor, but the important thing to remember is that the feelings you have are normal for someone just finding out about their sexual bodies. Now you just need to discover ways to control when it's okay to do it and when you should find other ways to decrease your anxiety.
Try to remember that they are called "privates" and that you should only touch them in "private". I hope it helps. Good luck with your new body!!
Whether it is aspergers or ocd is between you and your doctor, but the important thing to remember is that the feelings you have are normal for someone just finding out about their sexual bodies. Now you just need to discover ways to control when it's okay to do it and when you should find other ways to decrease your anxiety.
Try to remember that they are called "privates" and that you should only touch them in "private". I hope it helps. Good luck with your new body!!
13 Things to Keep in Mind as Your Child with ASD Reaches ADOLESCENCE
By Chantal Sicile-Kira
1. Noncompliance: it may not be autism, it may be adolescence.
Whether or not they have autism, there’s a definite ‘shift’ in behavior and personality when children turn into teenagers. Wanting your attention changes to wanting their independence.
For kids on the spectrum, this behavior change may look like non-compliance; they don’t follow through on your requests as before. But it’s actually a normal part of their development, entirely aside from their autism. As a parent it’s important to support your teen as he struggles to become his own person, and even though it may be hard
to appreciate, this is a positive development. After years of being taught to do as he is told, your teen needs to start learning that it is acceptable at times to say ‘No,’ or he might find himself in dangerous situations with peers or others looking for an easy victim to prey upon.
2. Teenagers need to learn to make their own choices.
Giving choices to your growing teen will teach him about decision making and accepting the consequences of his choice (good and bad), as well as help him realize he will eventually have more control over his own life. This applies no matter what the functioning level of the child. Offer him choices, regularly, and abide by the choice he makes.
Remember, as he gets older he will want and need to be more involved in his life and his transition planning. By letting him make choices now (within your parameters at first) you are teaching him valuable life skills.
5. Talk to your child about his/her changing body.
Imagine how scary it must be to realize your body is going through some strange metamorphosis, you don’t know why and there is nothing you can do about it. Whether your child has Asperger’s Syndrome and has sat through hygiene classes at school, or he is more impacted by autism and you’re not sure how much he understands, it is important to discuss the changing male and female body in a simple way he can understand. Otherwise, your teen may be overly anxious and agitated when she starts menstruating or when he has wet dreams. Visuals that include photos or drawings and simple words may be helpful, especially at the beginning. Be concrete and don’t overwhelm – this is certainly not a one-time talk!
6. Masturbation: a fact of life.
Let’s face it; masturbation is a normal activity that almost all teenagers engage in. Once discovered, it is an activity hard to stop, especially for individuals who enjoy self-stimulatory activities and can be obsessive compulsive, as are many people on the autism spectrum. The best approach is teaching your teen that this is a private activity to be done only in private at home, in a designated place such as his bedroom or bathroom.
7. Relationships and sexuality: topics that need to be discussed.
Sexuality is a topic that most parents are not comfortable discussing with their children, even their neurotypical teens. However, it is necessary to talk to your teen on the spectrum about sex and the many types of relationships that exist between people. It is naïve of parents to think that because their child has autism s/he won’t need this information.
Teens talk, and invariably your child will be hearing about it from their NT peers at school. Whatever the functioning level of your child, he needs to be taught about appropriate/inappropriate greetings, touch and language when interacting
with members of the opposite or same sex. Don’t leave this important part of his social-emotional development to locker room education.
8. Self-regulation is important for life as an adult.
An important skill for every teen to learn is the ability to control his or her reactions to emotional feelings and sensory overload. Hopefully, by the time they are teens your child or student has learned to recognize their feelings and impending emotional or sensory overload, and ways to handle the situation. In school this could
mean practicing self-calming techniques or signaling to the aide or teacher they need a break and having a ‘safe place’ or quiet room to go to. At home, teens should have their own quiet spot to retreat to when overwhelmed. And parents: respect their need to do so!
By Chantal Sicile-Kira
1. Noncompliance: it may not be autism, it may be adolescence.
Whether or not they have autism, there’s a definite ‘shift’ in behavior and personality when children turn into teenagers. Wanting your attention changes to wanting their independence.
For kids on the spectrum, this behavior change may look like non-compliance; they don’t follow through on your requests as before. But it’s actually a normal part of their development, entirely aside from their autism. As a parent it’s important to support your teen as he struggles to become his own person, and even though it may be hard
to appreciate, this is a positive development. After years of being taught to do as he is told, your teen needs to start learning that it is acceptable at times to say ‘No,’ or he might find himself in dangerous situations with peers or others looking for an easy victim to prey upon.
2. Teenagers need to learn to make their own choices.
Giving choices to your growing teen will teach him about decision making and accepting the consequences of his choice (good and bad), as well as help him realize he will eventually have more control over his own life. This applies no matter what the functioning level of the child. Offer him choices, regularly, and abide by the choice he makes.
Remember, as he gets older he will want and need to be more involved in his life and his transition planning. By letting him make choices now (within your parameters at first) you are teaching him valuable life skills.
5. Talk to your child about his/her changing body.
Imagine how scary it must be to realize your body is going through some strange metamorphosis, you don’t know why and there is nothing you can do about it. Whether your child has Asperger’s Syndrome and has sat through hygiene classes at school, or he is more impacted by autism and you’re not sure how much he understands, it is important to discuss the changing male and female body in a simple way he can understand. Otherwise, your teen may be overly anxious and agitated when she starts menstruating or when he has wet dreams. Visuals that include photos or drawings and simple words may be helpful, especially at the beginning. Be concrete and don’t overwhelm – this is certainly not a one-time talk!
6. Masturbation: a fact of life.
Let’s face it; masturbation is a normal activity that almost all teenagers engage in. Once discovered, it is an activity hard to stop, especially for individuals who enjoy self-stimulatory activities and can be obsessive compulsive, as are many people on the autism spectrum. The best approach is teaching your teen that this is a private activity to be done only in private at home, in a designated place such as his bedroom or bathroom.
7. Relationships and sexuality: topics that need to be discussed.
Sexuality is a topic that most parents are not comfortable discussing with their children, even their neurotypical teens. However, it is necessary to talk to your teen on the spectrum about sex and the many types of relationships that exist between people. It is naïve of parents to think that because their child has autism s/he won’t need this information.
Teens talk, and invariably your child will be hearing about it from their NT peers at school. Whatever the functioning level of your child, he needs to be taught about appropriate/inappropriate greetings, touch and language when interacting
with members of the opposite or same sex. Don’t leave this important part of his social-emotional development to locker room education.
8. Self-regulation is important for life as an adult.
An important skill for every teen to learn is the ability to control his or her reactions to emotional feelings and sensory overload. Hopefully, by the time they are teens your child or student has learned to recognize their feelings and impending emotional or sensory overload, and ways to handle the situation. In school this could
mean practicing self-calming techniques or signaling to the aide or teacher they need a break and having a ‘safe place’ or quiet room to go to. At home, teens should have their own quiet spot to retreat to when overwhelmed. And parents: respect their need to do so!
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