I am a 34 year old man and I exhibit most, if not all, of the symptoms of Aspergers. I don't like change in my routine, I have the habit of taking things literally all the time, I am always often the last one to get a joke, I tend to blurt out what's on my mind without thinking whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, I am obsessive compulsive and like things in a certain order or else I can't concentrate on anything else, I have to have all my windows covered as I can't sleep if there is any kind of light in my bedroom, I tend to talk in a monotonous voice, I have never been a big smiler, and I have never been good at making and keeping friends. I also was told to take an online test and I scored high on an Aspie quiz(44/50). I only want honest answers here.
I forgot to add that I also get very anxious in new situations and I don't like meeting new people. I try to maintain eye contact but it's really hard. I also never know what to say when it's my turn to speak. I was also bullied in school. I feel like I'm stupid a majority of the time. I also can't handle too much information at one time.
I have meltdowns and flip out all the time. I also experience sensory overload. And, when I get nervous/anxious, I do weird things with my hands/fingers. I also have trouble with job interviews. And, even though I am a 34 year old man, I feel like I'm a little boy. I have an older sister who has been after me for over a year to get tested for asperger's. She thinks I have it.
When I was a kid I was bullied by an older neighborhood kid. I was always having meltdowns. I had, and still continue to have, trouble reading social cues. I had trouble in school because I would get confused by the teacher's fast paced instructions. I barely graduated from HS. I got a college scholarship in music performance but I lost it during my first year of college because my GPA dropped. It took me 8 years in college just to get my BSc degree. I had to make special arrangements with my professors to meet with me before class to tutor me because i just wasn't understanding anything in class and I felt like I was just so stupid. I still do. I just get so overwhelmed very easily. And, even with my degree, I still have trouble getting a job because I end up failing the interviews.
When I, do, have major meltdowns now, as an adult, I hit, and kick walls, furniture and doors(in addition to flapping and wringing my hands). It usually takes just over an hour to calm down. I even once dislocated my thumb after hitting a door with my hand. I also cannot handle critisism of any kind. I get very upset. I never know what to say when talking to someone. I never feel like I belong. Some days, when it go outside, the sunlight outside is just so bright that I can't even open my eyes. It hurts. Also certain loud sounds and noises cause me to shut down completely.
As a kid, I was always a loner/introverted. I could never tell when someone was bored or uninterested when I would talk to them. I have trouble with eye contact. I don't like being touched. If someone touches me without warning, I flinch. I don't hug. As a child, I was obsessed with telephones and vacuum cleaners(I still am). Growing up, I never knew what was socially acceptable(still don't). I would prefer to play alone and I would always talk to myself. In college, a female friend of mine came to my parents house one night and we stood outside and talked(well, she talked), and she started talking about her sick grandfather and she started to cry. I had no idea what to do. So I just sat there about three feet from her. In the past ten years, I experienced the death of my grandfather, two uncles and and aunt and I never cried. At my grandfather's funeral I sat by myself.