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Help with 16yo son with many issues, soiling. Please help.

My son has been on meds since age 5, things like ADD, OCD, Biopolar, learning disorder, dyslexia, has been throw out their as  diagnosis. He always had memory problems, and developed slower. He has a IEP at school, also has had least 1/2 a dozen throats scopes as he has EEG, also a gastro dr. The meds he has been on over the years we are pretty sure helped but one issue in particiular has not only stayed the same but has gotten worse.
   He is 16 now and soils his pants everyday. We get calls from school saying he had an accident in a school. He has a change of clothes at school. The school is aware and his IEP says he is allowed to go to the bathroom every 2 hours. We make him go to the bathroom twice in the morning before school.

  I mentioned he has a gastro dr. They have found no evidence of damages nerves and not being able to "feel it". He has been on glycol-ask, and stool softners. They get regulated every so often ( 1/2 cap full a day, 3/4 etc). Most recently we went to a  neurologist. It consistered of approx 2 hour questions with my son and a questionnaire was done by my husband and I. After a 1-2 month review of the session. The dr. had a lengthy report sent to us. In a nut shell it stated he does not exhibits any OCD but has shown signs of or is high function  autism.
  My husband can't fathom the idea of a question and answer session  reveals  this new  diagnosis. His psychiatrist does not agree with the findings and his meds have stayed the same. I've read the boys with autism do have a lot of similar traits one being the soiling. Which is basically out of control. 2/3 times a day. We can't go anywhere without it  constantly being on our minds. Anywhere more than 2 hours and we know their is an issue.
   We noticed more and more fecal smears on and around the bathroom. Not that he intentionally smears it but has some on his hands and touches the sink, shower, etc. We receintly found out he wipes standing up. We had a lengthy conversation about how that is not the proper way and you can't do a good job and maybe improper wiping is what a lot of smudges on his underpants come from.

  I'm not sure it sunk in. It like he doesn't care. It seems like he has to argue as why standing up is better. We went thru the " he has leakage" and needs to "clean out". We had advise to make flash cards on the steps to go to the bathroom/ steps to taken a shower. As we have a problem with his hygiene and washing up properly. Their is no real answer but a general ask for help from anyone who has had similar issues. How can we get ahold of this issue. We have gotten to the point where he wears a brief everyday.
  I don't understand how 2-3 experts can disagree on his diagnosis? How can a questionnaire reveal such a major diagnosis. Just some random facts.

Some of his meds include:  Abilify, Nexium, clonidine, stool softener, aderal
I transcribed his homework for many years. He has minimal friends, most days are spent playing video games. He receintly started doing crossfit/gym with us.
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