Is my son autistic? Asperger's?

[4kids4life]

Hello,
My step son is 10. My husband and I got full custody of him last year in March. His biological mother uses pills, is jobless, lives at home with her mom for the 10th time, cannot be stable and has previously lost custody of my step son on 2 different occasions. Since my step son has been with me, I have noticed weird behaviors. I also have 3 other children. He quotes lyrics to songs under his breath all....day.....long. Even in school and I had to get him in trouble for not paying attention in class. He mumbles, thinks that he talks loud when all of us can barely hear him, and he talks at awkward times. He talks in a mumble to himself while other people are talking, during a movie, while people are in conversation with other people;and what he mumbles almost always has NOTHING to do with the current situation. Again it is usually quoting of lyrics to songs or things from a show. Also, he will say something, and then when we confront him about what he said he will swear that he said something entirely different. For example: my daughter said to him "did you have the remote last?" and he said "NO. I'm not the one that changed it to the disney channel am I!" When I asked him why he said that (because I was no more than 3 feet from him at the time) he swears that he said "no you had the remote". He does not recall saying anything close to what I heard and defended this to the point of tears and telling me that I am lying! My husband thinks he is just lying but I think there is something more.. Should I have him tested for autism or asperger's??

[anacyde]

It sounds like the kid has had kind of a rough life.  I would suspect it probably has more to do with that than a neurological condition, but I'm not a child psychologist.  Nothing you're describing sounds like autism or Asperger's to me, and I say this as a mom of two children who both have this diagnosis.

[Midijane]

Hi there, you sure caught my attention with this. Let me say first, you are an amazing mom for picking up on such subtle cues. It's hard to hear about a childs frustrations after having been through so many with my son. He is12 years old and is diagnosed with something that is a combination of aspergers characteristics and a few other things. His diagnosis is DAMP (deficit of attention, motor control and processing). Even as a nurse, I had never heard of anything like this but like you, I knew something was different. I started with my pediatrician, tried 2 different adhd medications and was referred onto a pediatric specialist who treats adhd and autistic children. Once we finally made it to our first visit, the doctor knew right away what was going on with my little guy (he was in 2nd grade at the time).

My son has some aspergers traits like 1.) perseveration, when he tends to get stuck on certain issues and can't let it go. 2.) very basic social skills, difficult time with conversations and relating to kids own age. 3.) sensory likes and dislikes, for example all clothes had to be soft without tags, loud noises like the toilet flushing were very upsetting 4.) developmental delays..... And the list goes on.

I guess my point is, please keep looking into this for your sons sake. There are so many things we as parents don't know. But we do know that we love our kids and their futures are worth fighting for. I really like and respect both of my sons doctors and still to this day call the specialist if I have no idea what to do. I figure she is one of the few people who "gets" my son, so as far as I'm concerned... she is permanently on my contact list and my best friend when times get rough.

We need a lot of support from others when we are trying to help our kids. Keep reaching out and talking with others just like you are doing now. Whatever may be going on with your son has been enough to raise red flags in your mind so don't let hubby tell you something different :). Start a journal about specifics that concern you to help organize your thoughts. You'll be able to talk with your sons pediatrician a lot more effectively that way and will feel more confident about your concerns.

Take good care and let me know if I can help.
Marell