Oh, there is also another web site that I went to, called
They have a video library of kids with autism and of kids without autism to compare, if you are concerned about autism. Whether she has autism or not, she still has issues that need to be addressed by therapists, that your state shoudl provide at little or no cost through the 0 to 3 program. My state the program is called First Steps. I think many of the states have that name. I'd really press to get more therapists on your daughter's team. Anyways, you might already be in the program, so sorry if I'm just being redundant.
Hang in there, mom. It will get better. But you have to get your daughter therapy. Don't let the doctors give you the run around.
Sounds like your daughter needs more than speech therapy. If she's got sensory issues (not liking to be touched and not liking tooth brushing, etc), she needs an occupational therapist to address those sensory issues and introduce sensory integration therapy. Dont' wait until she's 3. Your state should have a 0 to 3 program if you're not already in it for speech therapy (ST), find out what it is or if your speech is already through that program, call your service coordinator and get your daughter reassessed for sensory issues or just ask if you can get an OT. Early intervention works wonders, and the earlier you can get it, the better for your daughter. My daughter used to hate having her teeth brushed and throw horrible horrible tantrums about things. Sensory integration therapy and setting up a sensory diet has worked wonders. Your daughter may not have autism, she may just have language delay and sensory issues, but it sounds like she's got more than speech delay goign on.
If your daughter is having trouble communicating, these behaviors might be her way of trying to communicate plus add in the terrible twos with emotions that she doesn't quite yet understand or know how to control and can't explain how she feels to you in words. Okay, I don't know about that, but I'm speculating based on my own daughter. Ask your speech therapist about her learning sign language in addition to learning to speak. My daughter has learned sign language to bridge the gap between not speaking and learning words. As she is picking up words spoken, she then stops doing the sign language. Sign language does not delay speech, if anything it probably helps it come faster because there is a visual thing goign along with the spoken. Another thing to introduce might be pictures to show her when routines like brushing teeth or bathtime will happen. There's also pictures used to communicate, which is a system called PECS, but my daughter is not using PECS because her picking up sign language went so well. But a picture exchange system also can alleviate some of the tantrums. I mean, think about what it would be like if you were dropped off in a foreign country and didn't know the language. Plus 2 year olds go thruogh the terrible 2s, and not being able to speak makes the terrible 2s worse.
A regular pediatrician can't assess autism. You have to go to a specialist. Most people go to a developmental pediatrician. You don't have to wait until age 3. Go now. The wait list is several months (they are in high demand), so she might be 3 by the time you get in at this point. If you manage to get an occupational therapist, she might be able to tell you what sensory things are going on and have a better idea of autism than a pediatrician does. If you can't get an occupational therapist, try to get a developmental therapist. Again, these therapists should be available in your state's 0 to 3 program.
Well, hang in there. It's going to be a rough time, but I've found a lot of help on the forum here. And don't blame yourself or beat yourself up over any of it. Plus just go in to the doctors fighting. ANd I found it's better to get a relative or friend to go in there fighting with you. Don't be disheartened about your daughter peeing right in front of you. Sounds like she's just trying to communicate she's angry with you and doesn't know how to otherwise. Though... that's not the best way to communicate obviously. If you get an occupational therapist (OT), they should be able to help you address these issues. I thought they just addressed motor skill delays, but OTs deal with sensory issues and life skills like teeth brushing and adaptive skills like transitioning from one routine to another. Developmental therapists (DT) are trained in various things and bridge various therapies like speech, sensory stuff, life skills, etc. My daughter's DT occasionally will go to my daughter's play group to watch her in a social setting and try to address issues that come up there and try to get her to socialize more. So, you might also need a DT if she has some social issue problems. My daughter has a ST, OT, and a DT that come out once a week, so that's three times a week of therapy for an hour each time.
Oh, and no matter what diagnosis you get for your daughter, she's still the same loving little girl inside that will hopefully curb some of these behaviors when she can express herself a little better and find other outlets to get her frustration out.
the autism society of america web site has a FAQ that shows symptoms
autism-society(dot)org click on about autism then fequently asked questions.
From what you described some of these symtoms are there but not all. However the doctor may want to make a differntial diagosis and rule out other things. At this point and from what you describe, it could be anything and everything. Could even be a combination of things.