2 1/2 yr old speech & behavior issues

[lonestarnana]

My little boy is 2 1-2 yrs old. He does not speak , only says dada, no, dat and other little  babbles.  I'm so worried and concerned for his development . He gets upset very easily and will hit or bite at anyone if something doesn't go his way. He points to some things he wants ; will use some gestures to let you know what he wants. For the most part he is happy , hugs and loves to giggle , he gives kisses to mommy and daddy. He at times will fight with his 6 yr old brother
, he  will cry and throw a tantrum and hit him as well. They will only play well together for a while.  He makes eye contact but not as much , he'll spin a little bit and has been putting his hand/ finger inside his mouth as well as other objects . At times I catch him just looking at one thing then he'll snap out of it, he has been shaking his head like tense / or excited , I'm not sure what that is , he just happens all of a sudden , I'm not sure if he's excited about something . He eats well but has a preference of drinking something more than food.  He's getting speech and behavior therapy , but I still don't know if he has something . Is there anyone out there you can help me or maybe your child has had these behaviors . He has an appt with a specialist soon. But it's killing me not to know what he could have . I took him to an autism center , they said he didn't meet the criteria to get tested for autism , that his behavior was good and did not merit an autistic evaluation . Anyone please , mother in distress!!!

[ouch_evilness]

Hello, my 4 year old niece has speech delays, we believe she is on the low to mid spectrum of autism.  She has recently began speaking a handful of words, no sentences.  #1. Remain calm and upbeat, as hard as it is don't show him your worried, as he doesn't realize why your worried only knows/feels that mommy is upset.  #2. Try not to jump to conclusions, some kids speech is delayed and by time they are 5 seem to catch up on there own or with help from speech therapy.  Keep talking to your son, keep it simple, read to him often.  Also, just as important as speech when diagnosing Autism is watching for eye contact.  These children tend to avoid eye contact all together, or for only a few seconds.

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  

Well, behavior issues are not uncommon for a child that is having difficulty with speech.  They then have limited ways of expressing what is going on inside.  So then a child goes into a bit of primitive mode of expressing their emotions.  

Does your son understand you when you give him a direction?  Does he point when he wants something like a drink?  These are signs that he is communicating in some fashion.

there are three parts of speech---  receptive (taking in what a person says to you and making sense of it), expressive (formulating thought and organizing what you want to say) and articulation (forming the words).  Down the road, you may consider a speech evaluation to see where he has trouble and if it is more one part of speech than the others or all three.  Then they can help with that.  

I would talk to him frequently, read to him often, have him look at you when you are talking.  There is a cd called 'speechercize' which helps with mouth exercises, facial exercises that help with speech as well as making of sounds.  I got this on ebay.  

For behavior, I would work on showing him ways he can handle things.  Role play with him.  Tell him or show him what he CAN do and praise him when he does it.  

I'm not sure what the above post is about.  I'm a mom of a child that has a developmental delay that caused me great anxiety.  That is natural for a parent.  We are human.  It's not a counseling issue unless you are anxious in a clinical sense and not functioning.  We can all be better parents but we are also human.  I would stay calm and matter of fact and try not to let the anxiety for what is ahead for your child ruin your interaction with him, for that I'd agree.  I was very anxious when my child was diagnosed.  I decided that no matter what was to come, that I loved my child and would do what is best for him.  I tried to make home safe in terms of his emotions but also encouraged him to progress in a firm way.  Just do your best and I think worry is pretty natural when your mama warning bells are going off.  

What does your pediatrician say about the situation by the way?  In the US, they have laws to help our children.  The birth to three early intervention program is great to get involved in.  You can be referred by your doctor. And the things will begin to happen to help your child.  It's on a sliding fee schedule of payment and therefore can even be totally free based on income.  Physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy will all happen if needed either by appointment or even in your home.  yes, a speech therapist may travel to your home to help you.  You'll be assigned a case manager to track progress of your child. I highly recommend you get involved in this.  Once the child turns three, the public school system takes over.  Less of a great situation with that but your child will still receive services.  

Some kids do just talk late.  But I would want to figure out what the root cause of the speech issue is.

best of luck to you dear.  

[TheLightSeeker]

Mother in distress, as much as I sympathise with your little boy's issues,
and of course your own issues dealing with all this, let me give you a piece of wisdom.

Your boy FEELS your distress!!! He's unable to communicate anything to that regard,and he does not have the intellectual capacity to process it, but he's the victim of receiving this very negative emotion from you
-no you cannot hide this- it is carried through the energy field, more like a vibration.

And remember any communication, verbal or non-verbal, gets registered
in a toddler's subconscious, totally unfiltered, as their conscious judgement
only starts developing usually after the age of 5.

So, this has everything to do with him and NOT you  it is extremely difficult as parents to remove ourselves from being too emotionally involved with our children's health and wellness issues. Or even suspected issues!

And I'm not stating this to make feel you bad, I just want you to be aware. Work on yourself, go for counselling, do meditation, whatever it takes
so you can actually be truly calm, peaceful, collected, positive, joyful while still being inquisitive and concerned about his development.

A few questions for you.
Was he delivered by C-section? Was it term birth? Was he breast fed?
Anything out of the ordinary took place from his birth on till recent?
What about food and diet? Any allergies or intolerance?
How is his physical development?
How was your pregnancy? Do you have any thyroid, adrenal or other deficiency issues? Depression, anxiety (don't take this personally, it's just a clinical aspect) or other diagnosis. How do you sleep at night?

FYI there's The ASD Assessment Scale/ Screening Questionnaire
available from the childbrain website (part of the pediatric neurology website)
so you can answer all the questions and you will be given a total  score and
a level of dysfunction instantly as you submit it.
Note that it is only  an experimental screening tool and an established diagnosis would be still needed.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes to your son, yourself and your entire family.
Niko