26 month old daughter doesn't speak or understand

[angie765]

I'm a very concerned parent. My daughter is 2 years and 4 months old and still hasn't spoke, she says "ay" "ay" "ay" a lot but that's it, her understanding is also very limited. She understands, "do you want to go to bed", "go to sleep", "don't do that", and she will respond to her name (she'll turn when you say it). She doesn't point unless you're counting to her, in that if I say "one, two, three etc" she'll point up the numbers. If I ask her "where" something is she looks at me blankly or ignores the question. She used to line up her toys sometimes in perfect semi circles but not obsessively when she'd knock them down she'd walk away. She doesn't really do that so much anymore. She gets very excited watching some of her cartoons in that she'll laugh and run toward the sofa and hit off it and turn to watch the TV again laughing. She sometimes spins to music but not always, she has no problem walking or running and wasn't late in walking. She has cousins of similar age and she does acknowledge them when playing, in that if their playing on the swings or slides she'll laugh at them, and she'll join in going up and down the slide sometimes going up the slide part to look straight at them before going down the slide on her stomach and waiting for them at the other end. She doesn't play pretend with her toys and doesn't really like me reading to her she'll grab the book and look at it herself, she loves books that have noises and that she can press the buttons that make different sounds. She loves anything to do with Mickey Mouse and will stare at books of his for ages, studying him and she used to line up the figurines of his but not anymore, she puts them in a dolls house now. She has a Mickey Mouse Toy that sings songs and tells stories and sometimes when you press the button she'll roar (not loudly) and lie on the ground face down or bury her face into my body and then after a minute she'll go over to it and press the buttons herself with a "normal" result. She's really good at sharing toys, and never has an issue of another child taking something from her. She will play alongside other kids and definitely takes notice of them, smiling at them when they smile at her but the interaction is limited as she doesn't speak or understand them. She has really good eye contact and will look at me whenever I say her name. When going into someones house or a shop she will cover her eyes and bury her head against my leg (as if she's shy) for a couple of seconds and after that she'll be fine and meet everyone no problem. She's very affectionate with me, but not so good with others, she's not great at letting other people cuddle her or kiss her. She's excellent at taking places, she'll hold our hand and no tantrums no issues at all, she'll sit eating and drinking her juice beside us while we're having coffee and there won't be a peep out of her. When looking for food she'll lead you by the hand to the cabinet and stare up at the press grunting until you get the right thing. When she wants to go out in the car she'll lead you to the back door and put your hand on the handle. When she wants to go upstairs she'll lead you to stair gate and stand looking up (never any pointing). She doesn't wave goodbye, infact whenever anyone says "bye bye" to her she gets a very worried look on her face and will jump up to be held by me as if i'm leaving her. She will clap and pat her legs and stop and look at you to do the same and she will wait for you to join in and once you do she'll laugh and do it again (again not obsessively). Yesterday she was grinding her teeth a lot but not today. I'm worried that she may have autism or is it just a speech and language delay?

[dojoandky]

Angie-Please get your daughter diagnosed by a reputable pediatrician, and don't take "she'll grow out of it"  or "she's still young, let's see what happens in a year or two" or any of that other crap doctors give worried parents.  You're worried for a reason, and you have a ton of them listed.  If you keep waiting and waiting, the windows of opportunity for you daughter to learn will start to close.  I think you should try and find a D.A.N.  (Defeat Autism Now) doctor in your area, and then start an ABA program.  This therapy is one of the only ones with proven clinical results, even to the point of some people being "cured".  Good luck!

[DeaneRenata]

I am a firm believer in disability rights.

[DeaneRenata]

Well when you have Autism you think everyone else is weird except you.

[DeaneRenata]

People tell me they think it is embarrassing I have a brain issue. Actually I have thought that it was embarrassing that they said it was embarrassing I was like that.

[DeaneRenata]

Regardless though of what is wrong with me I have heard of the Americans with Disabilities Act. I think  I have a brain disorder. I believe in my rights regardless of what disability I may or may not have, in either case.

[DeaneRenata]

Besides that I have had thinking and memory and judgment problems. Sometimes it has felt like my head was full of air, or a tight and squeeze-y feeling. People don't know what it is like to live that way. And instead of helping they want to execute you. I asked my mom questions like how and why people do those things and I've told her I don't understand sometimes.

[DeaneRenata]

Hello. The BIG problem I have with the mental health system is that if there is something wrong with your brain they cannot correct it at all. All they do is give you medications to ease whatever pain and trauma living with the disorder puts you through (that and the discomfort).

[Dazon50]

Have you talked this over with her Pediatrician?  That is where I started with my daughter when she wasn't talking about 18 mos. & other things I saw.  He suggested I wait till she was 2 and then helped set up the evaluation by a child psychologist.  I later got another evaluation, but the first diagnose was a significant developmental delay.

The psychologist was reluctant to stick a label on her at that age because things could change he said.  He cautioned me that parents could go overboard and try to do everything they could to change things or the other way.  Later I saw how people, including myself, could go "label" hopping to try find the perfect fit.

For awhile I had to hear the "mixed bag" while they were puzzled because she didn't quite fit this or that, although hyperactivity clearly came into it early with her slipping out of her stroller & running off and highchair and not being able to sit still long enough.

At 6, a team of specialists saw her and gave her the PDD-NOS diagnose.  She had an imaginary friend, MPM, which is why they didn't put her in the more classic category. Other than that, she had autistic behavior, licking her fingers, in her own world, perseverating on bugs which started about 4 yrs. old. with her picking up ants.  From then on out, she went after bugs every opportunity she had.  By 6 she was drawing page after page of ant pupae (very detailed) with tunnels, etc.  I saved a lot of her early drawings.

So...a lot can change.  I took the approach to do what I could & remember the "over board" to watch for it.  I worked mostly with language with her because she didn't really start talking where she could have conversations more developed till toward 8 or so.  It was basic when it started & she would be off to her things.  She used us for meeting her needs.  Had a stage where she whispered that freaked us out when I took her to a babysitter.

We worried that they had done something to her.  One of the hard things with a non-verbal child is what trying to understand what  they trying to convey by their actions.

I can share with you what was good about the evaluations was that the 2nd one found a hearing loss and tested her, telling us she should have tubes in her ears.  They explained to us that if her delay was only due to the fluid in ears, she wouldn't be across the board like she was in her delay.

Otherwise I would have contributed it to the hearing loss.

I don't know if you have already seen someone or are waiting, but that is a good place to start.

Please keep us posted.  We will be pulling for the best outcome with you and your child.

[angie765]

I forgot to mention that she does love playing peek a boo and loves being chased