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Have you ever been made to feel like you are making things up???
Hi as some of you have probably read about my daughter Melissa she is currently been seen by a SALT because of her speech, even though the SALT said her spoken speech is with normal perameters she is going to be assessed by them in school to understand the rest of it, ie understanding. Well i spoke to the SALT today explaining that i think she may be on the autistic spectrum, she said oh the teacher said she is social, which she is i aren't argueing that point, so i said yes she is in fact she is overly social she is in their faces, and then the teacher as told the SALT that she isn't that far behind, because again she is one of the younger ones so i explained that and she said she will have a word with some of her colleagues, but after i got off the phone i am now wandering wether they are still going to assess her in school due to what the teacher said, the teacher hadn't even notices Melissa saying anything wrong, the teacher thought she was lazy not so long ago so that is still her attitude, is it me am i making a mountain out of a mole hill. Is it normal for a child to want to cuddle total strangers and sit on their laps and then totally ignore both sets of grand parents. Is it normal for a child opening their birthday presents to pause and then say oh there is an aeroplane i had to mega listen to hear anything at all. Is it normal for a girl to have an obsession with dinosaurs and be more interested in big trucks than dolls, and obviously be more immature which is what the teacher said due to her touchy feely ways, is it normal to burn yourself twice on a sparkler even after being told repeatedly not to touch as it burns like she was impelled to do it and also is it normal for a child to not give much eye contact as that was what the SALT said i then said yes she did that in the hospital in fact she wouldn't even speak to any of them let alone look at them, so at least i aren't making that bit up, i have got some behaviours on the camera so i will show them, Oh and when she was off school due to bad weather last week she was so placid and good as gold we just sat in the lounge most of the day didn't go out and not one bit of hyperness, no defiance until bed time but what kids don't try it on at bed time. I asked if she wanted to go to school she said no as her friend dominic won't be there so i said what about your other friends she said i don't like playing with them....but yet she drags poor dominic around, because she looks to be sociable i think that is why they are dismissing it. God i haven't even started and they are dismissing her but the SALT said she will ring me back after having a word with who ever, she asked if she had been assessed by the ed pshyc i said no. Because she isn't showing the typical traits it is like they are making me look mad, i knew i should have taken her when younger she was a lot more hyper then, so this is where i am at at the moment. As any one been through this and any advice would be much appreciated right now. Thanks Sharon x
sorry hun, just thought of this.... get her looked at for ADD, or ADHD. study her behavior, try to keep a journal if you can. cut sweets out of her diet, and also try not to let her have foods with alot of starch, or artifical flavors and additives. -- lis
hello there. i dont know all the details of whats going on with your daughter. but i can tell you a little about mine. katie was about 1 1/2 when i started noticing her behavior was a little strange. she wouldnt talk, she would just make sounds and point. she was very reserved around other people, she wouldnd hardly play with other kids.(even when they tryed to include her.) she wasnt willing to give hugs or show any kind of affection to anyone but me. and if anyone tryed to touch her even in the slightest way she would freak out. she had a problem with crazy emotional outbursts. she would throw herself to the ground, scream, hit, kick, bite,(not just herself but also me when i would try to calm her.) by the time she was almost 5 she was diagnosed as being highly functioning autistic. anyway,.. as far as school, and doctors go,..... You are her parent. if something is bothering you then you need to make it known to them so that something can be done. dont let anyone make you think you are "overreacting." when it comes to your kids, there is no such thing. i let my daughters symptoms go, because i listened to other people tell me i was being a drama queen. i've been kicking myself in the *** ever sense. if i had stuck to my gut instinct and just ignored people who THOUGHT they were smart, her condition could have been caught sooner. take care, and remember,.... if theres something bothering you, LET IT BE KNOWN! --- lis
just spend some one on one! quality time toghether have fun and i.... gaurantee!!!!!!!! everythung will be fine! they gotta feel like they are your best friend! feel like they can say absoulty anything to you... REGARDLESS!!!!!! and most importantly!....listen to them and find time to take an intrest in the things they like to do. then youve deffo cracked it!!! :-) they need to feel some u and me time! adhd is compleate bxllshxt!!!!!!!!!! give it a go! there is everything to gain! ALL THEY WANT IS TO FEEL U GOT TIME FOR THEM AND INTRESTED IN THEM AND WHAT THEY INTRESTED IN!!!!!!!!!!
In NC, you can refer your own child to the CDSA which is a state agency, most states have them, something like the Children Developmental SErvices Agency.....you don't have to wait for your Dr. and you should be able to get a full evaluation. It should be listed in your State agencies in the phone book.
From what I know now - nearly 5 years down the line, I would say yes outright your daughter is on the autistic spectrum. The difficulty, as you say, is that even professionals sometimes don't see the autism in the behaviours, which quite frankly is beyond me! And as you also rightly state the diagnosis says that the child has to have impairments in social interaction. Now that can range from being totally uninterested in other children, to not recognising a friend from a stranger, or wanting to play but not knowing how to do it etc.
I went to the doctor with my son when he was three because he was repeating things I said to him and diaglogue from TV and DVDs. I was fobbed off and told that all children do that. Then three years later I came across Echolalia and Delayed Echolalia on the www. So I asked his SALT and she said that yes he does have echolalia. I even went back to the doctors and told him, not to reprimand him, but just to state for the records that he had missed that my son was autistic when he was three years old. I then had to wait another 3 years for him to get a diagnosis.
A parent knows when something is not quite right.
I went to the doctor with my son when he was three because he was repeating things I said to him and diaglogue from TV and DVDs. I was fobbed off and told that all children do that. Then three years later I came across Echolalia and Delayed Echolalia on the www. So I asked his SALT and she said that yes he does have echolalia. I even went back to the doctors and told him, not to reprimand him, but just to state for the records that he had missed that my son was autistic when he was three years old. I then had to wait another 3 years for him to get a diagnosis.
A parent knows when something is not quite right.
I like what all the above have said. I wanted to add, that you have the right to a free evaluation through the school system. you can request that she be evaluated by a team of professionals. If you disagree with the diagnosis, then you have the right to seek an outside opinion at the school's expense. Then the school must provide clear data, when in the clasroom. This is called RTI. It is a new federal law that requires data to be provided. Not all states are involved in this yet bc the counties are trying to introduce it slowly within the schools. But you can scream for it. I am.My son has TOurettes, but I advocate for a lot of families and I wish you luck.I would love to talk more to you about it if need. I have worked with Autism, PDD, SI EFD, etc. list goes on. I work with children mostly with Autism and I will tell you this. There is no cookie cutter case. EVERY child has their own needs and quirks, and Specialties. It is beautiful, amazing, scary, and difficult, all at the same time and sometimes everyday. So. Get resources, and learn your advocacy laws. This will be the best you can do for yourself. I know that WRIGHTSLAW is a great website. They have all the info according to state laws. Good luck
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My daughter wasn't diagnosed with autism until she was 8 years old. I'll describe her, and you see what you think.
My daughter was born after a normal pregnancy. Easy delivery. Almost 9 pounds, and a second child. Smiled at everyone. She walked late, but at 15 months, it was still in the normal milestone range. She had horrible colic, but was otherwise cheerful. She never really played with her toys, but didn't do strange things either. (like line them up) She still doesn't sleep through the night. She really didn't like meat, still doesn't. She never really talked, but she babbled constantly in 'her own language' until she was about 4. She wasn't fully potty trained until kindergarten. The child knows NO strangers. No one knows how scary that is- but my daughter would sit on Charles Manson's lap. She empathetic. She's artistic, and she's good at math. She still reads at a kindergarten level. In kindergarten, she started speech therapy due to language delay. She makes eye contact when she initiates conversation, but if you say something to her while she's doing something, she'll talk to you without ever looking up.
One thing we noticed early, my daughter could not stand loud noises. She covers her ears when the toilet flushes. She watches fireworks with her ears covered. She will not use hand dryers in public restrooms. As a matter of fact, because of her hyperacusis and over-friendliness, she had a genetic test for Williams syndrome when she was 6.
My daughter also has sensory intergration disorder.
So.... there were all these little things different about her, that unless you watched her daily it would not seem off. All these little things, though, keep her from functioning normally. Too much stimulation, she melts down or checks out. Her first IEP actually had a plan for personal space and helping her not hug total strangers. She has to touch EVERYTHING!! She loves to dance, in particular, she loves to spin, spin, spin. She occasionally flaps her hands. She is obsessed with cats, but when we lost our cat, it didn't really phase her. Her first written sentence was "I love cats". She's always drawing pictures.... if it's her and daddy, the sun is on one side. If it's her and mommy, the sun is on the other side. She has to be tucked in every night in the same way. She uses unusual syntax when talking. At 8 years old, her favorite TV shows are all on NickJr and Noggin. She goes from comfortable to I'm-going-to-pee-my-pants in an instant- and if a toilet is not found then accidents will happen. She can be flexible with routines to a point, but not with her expectations. She had no concept of time. She knows what an hour is in that it's 60 minutes, but no concept of how long it really is. She can be obsessive. But she is kind, and lovable, and a wonderful girl.
She was diagnosed PDD. Her doctor thought she was ADD and wanted to start medication, but I felt the ADD was a SYMPTOM, not the diagnosis. Eventually, after three years of being told she was normal, I get a referral to a devolpmental pediatrician. If the school had not backed me up on some things, I'd still be in the dark.
The devolpmental pediatricians diagnosis? AUTISM! Now, we had begun to suspect as parents. A teacher had mentioned autism. Once we got past the stereotype of a non-social, withdrawn child that bangs their head on the wall we could see all the symptoms. We've attended the local autism speaks group..... only to be exposed to lots of children just like our daughter.
DSM criteria for autism requires an impairment in social interaction. http://www.autism-pdd.net/dsm4.html I know my daughter is friendly, but she has no bounderies, no sense of personal space, no sense of saftey, and no sense of understanding that, for example, we're really tired of listening about cats, lol. She has lots of 'friends', even 'best friends', but she doesn't remember their names. She's never wanted to have a sleepover.
I can list all of her quirks, and still leave some out. But I know this, a psycologist, a psychiatrist, a developmental pediatrician, and her teachers all agree she is autistic.
Check out AutismSpeaks and other autism orginizations. Don't just google autism, google 'girls with autism'. Go to youtube and watch videos of autistic children.... I especially recommend the "Excuse me... she's autistic" videos.
I had a school psychologist tell me one time "I hate to label her autistic." However, she is what she is. I don't like labels myself, but they can help form IEP's. Labels help my daughter qualify for speech therapy, occupational therapy, and other 'exceptional children' services. The autistic 'label' has also helped her brother accept her oddities, my husband and I accept our sanity, and her grandparents to just accept.
Long story, I know. But I know what it's like to be told that there's nothing wrong, when there is. Good luck!!!!
My daughter was born after a normal pregnancy. Easy delivery. Almost 9 pounds, and a second child. Smiled at everyone. She walked late, but at 15 months, it was still in the normal milestone range. She had horrible colic, but was otherwise cheerful. She never really played with her toys, but didn't do strange things either. (like line them up) She still doesn't sleep through the night. She really didn't like meat, still doesn't. She never really talked, but she babbled constantly in 'her own language' until she was about 4. She wasn't fully potty trained until kindergarten. The child knows NO strangers. No one knows how scary that is- but my daughter would sit on Charles Manson's lap. She empathetic. She's artistic, and she's good at math. She still reads at a kindergarten level. In kindergarten, she started speech therapy due to language delay. She makes eye contact when she initiates conversation, but if you say something to her while she's doing something, she'll talk to you without ever looking up.
One thing we noticed early, my daughter could not stand loud noises. She covers her ears when the toilet flushes. She watches fireworks with her ears covered. She will not use hand dryers in public restrooms. As a matter of fact, because of her hyperacusis and over-friendliness, she had a genetic test for Williams syndrome when she was 6.
My daughter also has sensory intergration disorder.
So.... there were all these little things different about her, that unless you watched her daily it would not seem off. All these little things, though, keep her from functioning normally. Too much stimulation, she melts down or checks out. Her first IEP actually had a plan for personal space and helping her not hug total strangers. She has to touch EVERYTHING!! She loves to dance, in particular, she loves to spin, spin, spin. She occasionally flaps her hands. She is obsessed with cats, but when we lost our cat, it didn't really phase her. Her first written sentence was "I love cats". She's always drawing pictures.... if it's her and daddy, the sun is on one side. If it's her and mommy, the sun is on the other side. She has to be tucked in every night in the same way. She uses unusual syntax when talking. At 8 years old, her favorite TV shows are all on NickJr and Noggin. She goes from comfortable to I'm-going-to-pee-my-pants in an instant- and if a toilet is not found then accidents will happen. She can be flexible with routines to a point, but not with her expectations. She had no concept of time. She knows what an hour is in that it's 60 minutes, but no concept of how long it really is. She can be obsessive. But she is kind, and lovable, and a wonderful girl.
She was diagnosed PDD. Her doctor thought she was ADD and wanted to start medication, but I felt the ADD was a SYMPTOM, not the diagnosis. Eventually, after three years of being told she was normal, I get a referral to a devolpmental pediatrician. If the school had not backed me up on some things, I'd still be in the dark.
The devolpmental pediatricians diagnosis? AUTISM! Now, we had begun to suspect as parents. A teacher had mentioned autism. Once we got past the stereotype of a non-social, withdrawn child that bangs their head on the wall we could see all the symptoms. We've attended the local autism speaks group..... only to be exposed to lots of children just like our daughter.
DSM criteria for autism requires an impairment in social interaction. http://www.autism-pdd.net/dsm4.html I know my daughter is friendly, but she has no bounderies, no sense of personal space, no sense of saftey, and no sense of understanding that, for example, we're really tired of listening about cats, lol. She has lots of 'friends', even 'best friends', but she doesn't remember their names. She's never wanted to have a sleepover.
I can list all of her quirks, and still leave some out. But I know this, a psycologist, a psychiatrist, a developmental pediatrician, and her teachers all agree she is autistic.
Check out AutismSpeaks and other autism orginizations. Don't just google autism, google 'girls with autism'. Go to youtube and watch videos of autistic children.... I especially recommend the "Excuse me... she's autistic" videos.
I had a school psychologist tell me one time "I hate to label her autistic." However, she is what she is. I don't like labels myself, but they can help form IEP's. Labels help my daughter qualify for speech therapy, occupational therapy, and other 'exceptional children' services. The autistic 'label' has also helped her brother accept her oddities, my husband and I accept our sanity, and her grandparents to just accept.
Long story, I know. But I know what it's like to be told that there's nothing wrong, when there is. Good luck!!!!
As well as autistic spectrum disorders such as PDD NOS have a look at Executive Function Disorder. If she is more on the autistic side then she should have difficulties with expressive or receptive language or Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder and difficulties with social interaction skills. If not then it maybe more EFD.
My daughter was diag with ADHA @7, she is now 10. It took years with the doctors to even get her tested for that. She started out on concerta and it helped a bit. But there is still something not right. I was told about a year ago that I needed to be more strict but, she was being disiplined so often she wasn't involed with any of the family activities. I know that is not hat she needs. She needs more nurturing and parents that actually know what their child is dealing with. Because she can do her homework at a fifth grade level she's egnored. Let's forget the fact that she can't get her self ready for school in the morning unless she 's prompted and shown each step. Her best friend is her five year old brother. Though I love that they can play together it scares me that her emotional level is that of a five year old. I've just dicovered PDD-NOS. I'm trying to get as informed as possible on the subject before I start the journey again. I was too the crazy mom being told everything was fine. If we don't stand and fight for our children and hopefully their funtioning future no one will. Hang in there
Hi Sally thanks for that, i know it is hard some days she isn't too bad bareable then other days she is an absolute nightmare, but like i always say to people because i mention her behaviour they automatically think of naughty or bad and say your Melissa is ok it is when i mention her defiance then they say oh yes she is like that isn't she. Took her to the pantomine last night she straight took her shoes and socks off and put her feet on the girls chair in front of her i said no don't do that it isn't nice she tried it a few more times she also kept standing up i said the girl behind can't see i had to tell her a few times then she nearly poked this ladies eye out doing something then staring at the people behind she goes from one extreme to another but all in all she wasn't too bad. It is the defiance that wears me down more than anything, she makes a fuss about everything, from shoes, to coat, to bed time, to her sister going to bed, what channel tv is on, to what she eats, hair the lot it is the same every day she is hard work. She is funny with tags but not as much as what her older sister is she just straight cuts them out she can't cope with them at all. I feel a little better i was talking to a girl i know whose son as only been diagnosed with adhd even though she as been on at the school for a few years and they kept saying there is nothing wrong with him he is just naughty, but yet she knew and persevered so now she is fuming at the teachers as none of them backed her up with statements. Like Melissas teacher saying she is just a little behind and she is lazy, and a daydreamer and when i told her about her not saying words right she said she hadn't noticed since then she has noticed one or two, but hasn't noticed her saying things wrong back to her, so i don't know, but she has noticed her immaturity so at least that is one thing that she as backed me up on. Thanks again Sally. Sharon x
I just remembered an incident that happened before my son was diagnosed. I had just sent a long letter into school telling them about his sensory sensitivities and also sending in a pair of DIY ear defenders, which helped him stay focused in class. That evening it was the school fair, and his headmistress came over to talk to me about the letter. At the same time my son had paid to play a game where you had to pop balloons! So I'm having this discussions about how sensitive his hearing can be, whilst he is popping balloons behind me! The headmistress didn't say anything, but I could tell by her face that she thought I was an absolute looney, eventhough I told her that sensory dysfunction can mean the senses fluctuate from one extreme to the other.
So remember that a big variation in how they behave is part of the condition. It doesn't mean it doesnt exist. If any professional sees your child to tell them that her responses and behaviours are very variable and that you suspect she has sensory issues.
So remember that a big variation in how they behave is part of the condition. It doesn't mean it doesnt exist. If any professional sees your child to tell them that her responses and behaviours are very variable and that you suspect she has sensory issues.
It is still up to the SALT to assess her language and Social Interaction skills. If everything is okay, brilliant. But your daughter might have traits of ADHD, autistic spectrum disorder, or both, or nothing!
Regardless of what she appears to be doing, the teacher is not the person to assess. My son also likes to play, but it is only when you listen in to what he is saying and expecting the other children to do that you understand that he is trying to take control of what is said and done by everyone because he wants to re-enact something. It isn't always so obvious. There is also the fact that you said your daughter mis pronounces words. The teacher said she was lazy. Tell the SALT you want to get to the bottom of her behaviours. Is she being lazy or can't she do it. If she is very impulsive that should be mentioned as well as the hyper activeness and the appearing deaf and appearing not to recognise familiar family members in different environments and being overly friendly with strangers.
Regardless of what she appears to be doing, the teacher is not the person to assess. My son also likes to play, but it is only when you listen in to what he is saying and expecting the other children to do that you understand that he is trying to take control of what is said and done by everyone because he wants to re-enact something. It isn't always so obvious. There is also the fact that you said your daughter mis pronounces words. The teacher said she was lazy. Tell the SALT you want to get to the bottom of her behaviours. Is she being lazy or can't she do it. If she is very impulsive that should be mentioned as well as the hyper activeness and the appearing deaf and appearing not to recognise familiar family members in different environments and being overly friendly with strangers.
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