I need some encouragement!

[ArmyPrincess819]

My son is 19mos old! He is not talking at all and with everyday that goes by he is showing more and more signs of autism. My pediatrican at his 18 mth check up recommended waiting another mth or so and if still not showing any signs of communicating and progressivly getting worse to have early intervention. I have 3 other kids I've been playing with the band for a while ! I know my children something just isnt' right! He has horrific night terrors and tempertantrums he has texture issues with foods and touch he doesn't engage well with other children! I'm a mess I'm so depressed and anxiety ridden! Any thoughts words of encouragement or just being told I'm not alone would help! My husband and I are trying to get through this together not apart!

[rydersnanna]

i am very glad you have got the approprate help for your son -
the earliest there is a diagnosis-the better.
i have become very interested in autism as of late because my grand son was exhibiting some signs of development problems when he was 18 months - played by self - no eye contact - never touchy or feely -didnt like being hugged -repetitious actions-but very smart -understands every word and watches tv and can do all the actions on tv but wont do anything with humans -

concerned i made it my job to over stimulate his brain and praise his every move and actions-we clap when he walks and when he moves and when he eats and pretty soon he started to clap too and then he was looking for the clapping when he did anything -
soon he was looking at me for the first time - i used to hug him every day and laugh and kiss his ears and make fun everything we did together so he never had any reason to fail- he couldnt fail and soon he didnt want to - he tried more and more to get the clapping and then i switched to grapes for the reward as well as laughter and clapping -
then one day he made contact -just reached out to me- took my hand -and just looked at me -
he had never smiled before and he hated any loving but now he was sitting on my lap and smiling and i have puppets that make him squeal with joy-when i try to take his nose -
he is now 3 and runs and laughs and cries and hugs and waves bye and calls me nanna and he is NOT autistic -he may have been in the spectrum and he may have been heading in that directon but i wouldnt let that happen -
i dont know what causes this spectrum - i dont know how to prevent it -
i do believe that everything they do has a reason and its not just random  that they scream and flail because they are overwhelmed but dont know how to tell you this -they throw things from frustration -nobody can help them and they cant help themselves - and they have hypersensitive hearing so going to the mall creates a terrible onslaught of noises and smells -

what i do know is i gave my boy love till he had to accept it - i touched him and hugged him and kissed him and he eventually came to want it -i gave him so much attention that he yearned for it -needed it and now is the first to run to me and hug me and grab my hand and we go out in the back yard and when he jumps in the puddle and splashes dirt and water everywhere-
his nanna is right beside him and we play in the puddles and we search for worms and he knows that everything he does -i approve - of course i am not talking about destructive behaviour or rude ness or hurting someone -biting or smacking - i applaud all positive behavior and when he used negative behavior i would take him away from the scene and sit him down- put him on the floor -his back to my front -wrap my arms and feet around him and rock till he calmed down - always talking softly and blowing kisses in his ears -
he has no negative behaviour now - is in full time day care - talking up a blue streak -comes to nanna every day and my darling boy is doing very well -

i just wanted to tell you my story cause i dont want you to give up- the days are long but there is light at the end of the tunnel and maybe some of my actions can be used by you and maybe you will have the miracle i got - i pray for you and wish you the very best - sandy

[ArmyPrincess819]

Thank you all for your support! He is on the spectrum he's getting officialy diagnosed later this mth.

[lisa91105]

hello princess. i know exactly what you are going through. i left my daughters father when she was 2 1/2. her autism had gotten bad by that point. at the drop of a hat she would throw herself down to the ground, scream, hit, kick, bite, pull out her own hair, etc. i didnt know what to do. i would pick her up and hold her tight and just tell her that i loved her. i would cry everyday. no one could have physical contact with me or katie. we wrer living with my dad and his room mates at the time, and everyday seemed worse then the day before. i thought id never be in a relationship again, because no one could handle a child like her, but me. her communication wasnt there, the tantrums were getting worse every week, and at times i wanted to just give up. i had been seeing a guy for a few months by this time, and katie had been around him all of that time.( my brothers band practiced where i was living.) katie and i ended up moving in with him, and i thought the stability and a calmer environment would help her. it didnt. a few weeks into living with mike, katie seemed to get worse. now her tantrums were more violent, not only at herself but also at me. hitting me, and biting me every time. her episodes would last sometimes up to 3 hours. day or night. despite all of this, mike stuck it out and he and i became determined to figure out what was really wrong with her. after alot of repetative punishment,( time outs, taking toys, etc), and talks, katie started getting a little better. by the time we had her diagnosed her behavior had improved and her speech was getting alot better. she now uses words almost properly, and she only has a tantrum once a month. maybe. so there is hope. you have to be strong, and persistent. dont ever think you cant take it anymore. you can! no matter what tell yourself you are a good mom, and you are the one who can help your little one through this!  hope this helped.--Lis

[megankrause]

Hang in there Girl.  You'll be amazed at how much you can love your son no matter what he has/doesn't have.  Don't focus on his entire lifespan right now, just focus on now, for now.  The unknown can be terrifying.  You CAN do this- your son needs you- 1/10 has some sort of autism now so you are DEFINITELY NOT alone.  xoxo

[Majikat]

you need to get him to a occupational therapist and speech therapist asap... I hated how the pediatrician was always telling me to just wait another momth or two... it will do him no good! and for the record Drs are not even involved in the care for autistic patients at least not here in canada... i kept pushing my drs and i finally got him diagnosed when he was 26 months I believe... it is sad but just waiting around to see what happens will do him no good you need to be getting him treatment... early intervention is very important.... I remember how hard it was and it still is! I had my autistic son when I was 18 years old and the thought of having a disabled child was terrifying! I love him more than life itself i swear! there is just something very special about him!!! you will do fine! when I was first going through this i was always crying and constantly sad because all i could think about was the things that he would miss out on :(

I now have a 6 week old baby and I cant stop watching every move and sound he makes ... i am so paranoid!


belive me you are not alone although it will seem like you are.... throughout they 3 years i have had the diagnoses I have never gotten to get together or engage with others going through the same things...

if you have any questions just ask i will try my best to answer them!