Aa
autism, or something else?
Please help. My son is 6 and in kindergarten. He is very smart. He's reading above his grade level and has no problems with his school work. I had a meeting with his school and they are telling me he has a high functioning form of autism. He has a problem with winning/losing, or not getting called on. He will absolutely have an emotional break down, crying so hard he can't stop himself. Sometimes we can talk him out of it, and sometimes we can't. That's the biggie. His meltdowns are very random and very over the top. He has no speech problems, doesn't obsess over one toy, eye contact is about 50/50, he isn't literal.
I've been searching the internet for characteristics of Autism and Asperger's, and I can't tell if they are right. If they are, then I want to do whatever I need to for him, but I feel like they are just throwing in the A word because it's a convenient diagnosis. If they are wrong, what else can it be? Please help. I want to do what's best for him, and I want to help him for what's really wrong. I just don't know where to go to find the answer.
Thank you.
Amanda
I've been searching the internet for characteristics of Autism and Asperger's, and I can't tell if they are right. If they are, then I want to do whatever I need to for him, but I feel like they are just throwing in the A word because it's a convenient diagnosis. If they are wrong, what else can it be? Please help. I want to do what's best for him, and I want to help him for what's really wrong. I just don't know where to go to find the answer.
Thank you.
Amanda
Surely the professionals referring your child should be giving the reasons for the referral?
Yes. Still going down that route.
The thing with any of these disorders is that they are usually diagnosed through professionals observing them. Children can vary day to day and throughout the day. Professionals may also have their own agenda.
I think the one thing you can agree on is whether you think your son has difficulties. Then it is a case of trying to tease out what they are. This is especially difficult if you have a child at the more able end. There are alot of disorders that have some charactertistics in common ie. Autism/ADHD/OCD/Sensory Difficulties/Executive Function Disorder etc. For example a child with autism may fidget because they don't understand what they should be doing; they may have sensory processing difficulties and need to fidget to be able to get feedback from their body; it maybe a different kind of sensory thing where they are fiddling with something in their hand; children with autism also have difficulties with focus and attention. They can concentrate for hours on a topic they like eg. making a lego model, but may be unable to pay attention to what they should do in class. ADHD can have some similar charteristics to that so that the child may find it difficult to pay attention and concentrate and may also find it difficult to sit still.
Sometimes it just takes time for everyone to see and agree what the difficulties are. I presume all these concerns were brought up for a reason.
My son can also over react emotionally to some things, but can cope at other times. When he does get upset he says he cannot control the feeling. So in some way they get flooded with emotion which is out of proportion to the event that triggered it and they then have difficulty getting it back under control. So they can be upset for hours afterwards. As he is verbal I would start trying to get an explanation out of him. Is it the event or can't he stop the feeling.
Has he been seen by a speech and language therapist and assessed. Sometimes their expressive speech can be age appropriate or advanced, but their understanding/ processing of language can be at a different level. For example my sons expressive language is age appropriate (age 7), but his receptive language comprehension is at age 3. So he gives the impression of being okay from a speech point of view, but in the classroom he cannot function because he has got no idea of what he is supposed to be doing.
Whatever disorder is mentioned to you, have a read about it. But in time you will begin to see where he fits into the plan of things!
If he does have difficulties, as he gets older those difficulties with have an affect on higher functions so it will become more obvious because the difference between your child and their peers will widen. If he is doing okay academically you may notice that the differences widen around social communication, so you will know that that is the area of concern.
But one of the first things to understand is that there are two routes to an evaluation. One is through Health and one is through Education. Through health you would expect to see Speech Language Therapist, Clinical Paediatrician, Clinical Psychologist, Occupational Therapist, (maybe Neurologist). I am not sure in the US who you would see through education. MJthewriterdad knows more about that.
I did find it helpful to get a private report from an Occupational Therapist who had expertise in these types of disorders.
The thing with any of these disorders is that they are usually diagnosed through professionals observing them. Children can vary day to day and throughout the day. Professionals may also have their own agenda.
I think the one thing you can agree on is whether you think your son has difficulties. Then it is a case of trying to tease out what they are. This is especially difficult if you have a child at the more able end. There are alot of disorders that have some charactertistics in common ie. Autism/ADHD/OCD/Sensory Difficulties/Executive Function Disorder etc. For example a child with autism may fidget because they don't understand what they should be doing; they may have sensory processing difficulties and need to fidget to be able to get feedback from their body; it maybe a different kind of sensory thing where they are fiddling with something in their hand; children with autism also have difficulties with focus and attention. They can concentrate for hours on a topic they like eg. making a lego model, but may be unable to pay attention to what they should do in class. ADHD can have some similar charteristics to that so that the child may find it difficult to pay attention and concentrate and may also find it difficult to sit still.
Sometimes it just takes time for everyone to see and agree what the difficulties are. I presume all these concerns were brought up for a reason.
My son can also over react emotionally to some things, but can cope at other times. When he does get upset he says he cannot control the feeling. So in some way they get flooded with emotion which is out of proportion to the event that triggered it and they then have difficulty getting it back under control. So they can be upset for hours afterwards. As he is verbal I would start trying to get an explanation out of him. Is it the event or can't he stop the feeling.
Has he been seen by a speech and language therapist and assessed. Sometimes their expressive speech can be age appropriate or advanced, but their understanding/ processing of language can be at a different level. For example my sons expressive language is age appropriate (age 7), but his receptive language comprehension is at age 3. So he gives the impression of being okay from a speech point of view, but in the classroom he cannot function because he has got no idea of what he is supposed to be doing.
Whatever disorder is mentioned to you, have a read about it. But in time you will begin to see where he fits into the plan of things!
If he does have difficulties, as he gets older those difficulties with have an affect on higher functions so it will become more obvious because the difference between your child and their peers will widen. If he is doing okay academically you may notice that the differences widen around social communication, so you will know that that is the area of concern.
But one of the first things to understand is that there are two routes to an evaluation. One is through Health and one is through Education. Through health you would expect to see Speech Language Therapist, Clinical Paediatrician, Clinical Psychologist, Occupational Therapist, (maybe Neurologist). I am not sure in the US who you would see through education. MJthewriterdad knows more about that.
I did find it helpful to get a private report from an Occupational Therapist who had expertise in these types of disorders.
What exactly is that? Could you please explain a little more?
We went to a counselor (as instructed by the school) and it was such a bad experience. Not necessarily for him, but for me. She said that he doesn't seem like he needs counseling, and for goodness sakes why haven't we taken him to his pediatrition??? She thinks he shows signs of ADD/ADHD (which he does not) and wants to medicate him to help his "fidgeting". HE'S 6!!!! What 6 year old can sit through an hour long session, and the first one mind you, and not fidget? Ughhh! This seems to be getting worse with every turn. He clearly has autism, he shows no signs of autism, he needs counseling, why are you in counseling?, he needs a pediatrition....and meds! This is crazy!! Did you all go through this too?
We went to a counselor (as instructed by the school) and it was such a bad experience. Not necessarily for him, but for me. She said that he doesn't seem like he needs counseling, and for goodness sakes why haven't we taken him to his pediatrition??? She thinks he shows signs of ADD/ADHD (which he does not) and wants to medicate him to help his "fidgeting". HE'S 6!!!! What 6 year old can sit through an hour long session, and the first one mind you, and not fidget? Ughhh! This seems to be getting worse with every turn. He clearly has autism, he shows no signs of autism, he needs counseling, why are you in counseling?, he needs a pediatrition....and meds! This is crazy!! Did you all go through this too?
youre not S O L yet. They may have won the battle but not the war. Federal IDEA law gives you the right to an Idependent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at their expense. Just ask for it in writing and pick a specialist and go there. You do need to release the records of this evaluation for them to use it.
You're welcome. I'm sorry the result didn't come out favorable. It seems they cut off at some point, but those people right at the cutoff are left struggling with some things...
I wish it weren't that way.
I wish it weren't that way.
Well, here's the final school scoop, I guess. We met with the team last week. They did several tests, all of which came back completely normal (the only one I contest is the IQ test, but that's a whole 'nother story!). Last time there were two autism specialists and the autism coordinator at the meetings telling me how many red flags there were and that I should join an autism support group. This time there was only one autism specialist and she was in the back typing the minutes as we spoke. You know, last time they were SO sure that he had autism, but now all of a sudden, he has nothing of the sort and he qualifies for no special services through the school system....but we should take him to a counselor (out of pocket, of course) to help him with his coping skills. I TOLD them last time that I didn't think that was the case and they didn't listen to me, now I'm just S.O.L. and am no better than when we started.
So, that's it. Thank you all for all your support. When I was really scared and at my lowest, you really helped me feel like everything was going to be ok. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!
Amanda
So, that's it. Thank you all for all your support. When I was really scared and at my lowest, you really helped me feel like everything was going to be ok. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!
Amanda
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