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1438638 tn?1304946457

You probably have Dysautonomia if... (a little humor)

Hello group :)
Yesterday as I was packing my little cooler with snacks and water, I thought to myself "geez, I'm like a friggin' 5 year old with all this!"  I'm sure I don't have to tell you it's necessary but it's still kind of crazy to me that I can't go anywhere without these things.  Anyway, it got me thinking about Jeff Foxworthy and his "You might be a redneck if" humor.  My husband loves that schtick because...well because he's a redneck!  I get him the calendar every year.  So I thought it might be fun to do our own version and laugh at ourselves a little bit.

So that's mine... "You probably have Dysautonomia if you have to pack a snack to run down to the store or to the doctor!"  Let's hear yours...
Stephanie
29 Responses
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Avatar universal
Reading these is so helpful.  I feel so alone in life and no one "getting it" that although I would not wish this on anyone knowing I am not alone helps more then anyone but maybe ya'll might know....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You might have dysautonomia when, to travel from one side of your house to the other, it's such an adventure and a long trip, that you whip out a cane and are still exhausted when you get there. And the house isn't even big.
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560501 tn?1383612740

   I can so relate..Actually that happens just to brush teeth and wash face....
So weird!!!

~T
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875426 tn?1325528416
You know you might have dysautonomia when after a shower, you reach up to get a glass in the kitchen and almost your whole vision turns white; when making your bed can make your your heart rate go to upper 120s or low 130s when you didn't used to be able to get it that high with a water aerobic workout; when you are panting from walking around in your yard...
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Avatar universal
You might have AD if you have more "tracks" then an IV drug user

If you carry around medical journal articles so you can show the nice ER doctor/ PA "know it all" what to do

If getting the mail and back inside without staggering or forgetting what you are doing is a BIG deal...

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Avatar universal
OMG! These r all so funny and Tonya I have had thus bathroom experience. Never realized how funny it must have been to others.
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560501 tn?1383612740

   You Probably have AD if, while in public, try and race to the bathroom, HR goes up, start to see the "white / black flashing lights", get to bathroom, start doing the Pee-Pee Dance (you know what I mean ladies :0 ) cause you gotta go so bad, finally get pants down but not in time to put TP on toilet bowl, and still so on the edge of passing out you have your head resting on knees trying to keep from going totally out, while whipping out the B/P cuff out of your purse to take B/P, and trying to think of a place to put your feet up.......Phewwww..Trye story!

    Then when you are ok to stand up you look up at the bathroom door only to find that big wide Gap between the stall door and notice that someone has been watching you the whole time!!!!!  Looking back now...Hilarious i tell you!!!!!

~Tonya
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1438638 tn?1304946457
Luckily they've started making Gatorade with less calories/sugar.  I couldn't drink it since my hypoglycemia kicked in...you would think it would be good for it, but it makes me crash.
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1352944 tn?1286226656
your family hears an ambulance go through your neighborhood and their first impulse is to go and make sure it isn't for you. (I'm notorious for calling the ambulance myself because my mom gets too freaked out [sometimes without telling her first)
also- if you're going on a trip and stopping at a convenience store, the person going in already knows your favorite gatorade flavor.
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1438638 tn?1304946457
Glad you're ok...it IS funny how these things that are a big deal to most people except us!
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1448921 tn?1287789632
I'm good just a little fainting session. a knock on the head nothing to terrible but my BF thought best to take me in and make sure I was ok.

Which makes another good one....
You might have AD if fainting and hitting your head is seen as nothing to terrible.
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1438638 tn?1304946457
Also inspired by real life events today...

You might have AD if you know where every bathroom is between your house and any given location, because you drink so much water in order to keep your BP up!

Hope you're ok lilmissposey!
Stephanie
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967168 tn?1477584489
oh wait I forgot lol:

you have Gatorade delivery instead of Zephyrhills water

you have soup with every meal and as a snack; your IV's are laden with salt

you have such a brain fog you call your husband your son's name at a very INoppourtune time [omgosh]

you introduce your husband - saying this is my son (at least i didn't say he was my daughter)

I'll think of more embarassing moments I've had over the past year, but brain fog set in and I need a
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967168 tn?1477584489
you might have AD (ncs/oi) if you order a shaker of salt with a side of food to go with it :P
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Avatar universal
You might have dysautonomia if your mom just bought you a recumbent bike, compression stockings, a cooling vest, and, a mirror, because hey, she's your mom!
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1448921 tn?1287789632
Just had this expirence so had to share this one as well.

You might have AD if the nurses at you local hospital know who you are as soon as you come through the doors!!!
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1438638 tn?1304946457
Love all these you guys!  I knew you'de be able to come up with tons!
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1323747 tn?1364806882
Tonyad, had to out loud (because it captures our reality so well)  at your husband nonchalantly finishing desert with friends while you recovered on the floor of the restaurant!

I will add this one.  

"You may have AD  if you visit  more with friends on line and by phone then in person because  #1, it can be done while your are horizontal, and #2, it takes far less energy."

Marie
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Avatar universal
U might have AD if ur seen in your local grocery store lying on floor with your feet propped up on.canned goods.trying not to.pass out.
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Avatar universal
You might have POTS - When you drink more fluid in a day than most people drink in a week!
:-)
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1401877 tn?1288107639
You might have POTS if you shake so uncontrollably you look like you are severely nervous when signing a receipt at a store and your signature looks like a five year old's first writing assignment.  Ahhhhh the many looks of confusion on that one....
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Avatar universal
You pop in the shop for some milk.....you can hardly see as you are that lightheaded.....you are walking like you are drunk...and an old friend sees you and says 'oh wow, you look great, you must be better now'!!!!!


arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! lol!
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Avatar universal
Love this thread!!

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560501 tn?1383612740

  You might have AD if......

    You carry a Portable B/P Cuff in your purse wherever you go!

~T
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