Kids ask the most innocent questions without meaning harm.

[bam1014]

Today DH and I went over to a friends house.  The son of another friend (that we don't see too often) was there as well.

He asks me "don't you guys have a kid?"

I said, "no, not yet".

His response, "But why, I thought you were pregnant last year."

"Yes, I was but the baby didn't make it."

"Why not?"

"Sometimes babies just don't make it"

UGH - talk about an awkward conversation.  I was touched that he remembered that we "were" going to have a baby.  It was just a little distressing to explain that we didn't, I honestly didn't know what to say.  He looked like he wanted more of an explanation, but I wasn't about to go into a statistical conversation on 1st tri-mester m/c.

[anxiouslywaiting910]

That is soo sweet..I think you explained it wonderfully!!  I'm sooo glad we didn't tell my step-son he is 9 about to be 10 in Dec. and very smart so it would have been a difficult conversation.

Bam- I think you told him just the right amount of info.  

[mikaleen]

Aww Debs, what a sweet way to explain it, and if I were the teacher I wouldn't have been horrified, I would have been touched that a little boy could remember something like that and repeat it so eloquently.
I remember at my brother's funeral Mikayla was telling everyone walking in not to be sad, because even though Uncle Eric couldn't walk when he was here with us (he was in a wheelchair) that he was an angel now with wings, and he could fly.

Bridgette...yeah, that would be difficult explaining something like that to a 13 year old boy.  I probably would've answered just like you and let his parents answer any more questions he had about m/c.  

[bam1014]

Debs - I think that was a beautiful thing that your son said.  And a nice way of putting it for 5 year olds.  I know this boy meant no harm, in fact I was touched that he even remembered we were pg.  Just caught off guard, ya know?

Wasn't entirely sure how to explain a m/c to a 13 year old boy.

[tinkerbell101]

Bridgette sometimes adults can be just as insensitive... we had a courier who used to deliver my catalogue orders and she went away travelling for 6 months, when she came back she knocked my door and asked how the baby was doing. When I explained I miscarried at 14 weeks she was the same and asked the most intrusive questions!

On the other hand children don't mean any harm they are just inquisitive. About 6 months ago I was called in to see my DS's teacher; he had only just turned 5 at the time. The teacher told me that during “show and tell” time another child had brought in their scan picture to show the class.... apparently very informingly my DS piped up and said,

'My mummy had one of those pictures when she had her baby in her tummy but if you look closely you can see the wings'.

The teacher said 'what do you mean wings?'

DS replied, 'Oh babies don't get born that small – sometimes they die and the wings help them fly back up to heaven'.

This was an innocent remark and just something he had quoted from a comment we had used to explain what had happened when we lost our baby to help him come to terms with it. The teacher was horrified and although the child who had brought in the scan picture was not at all fazed by it, the other children had apparently raised awkward questions that the teacher felt uncomfortable answering.....

[smr08]

Bridgette- sorry you had to go through that, I guess it just never ends. I'm still getting asked on occasion how my baby is, what I had etc. It never gets any easier. Sending you a big hug!