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20210433 tn?1492544530

How do you all live this way?

I feel like a robot. I can not cry. I have not cried in years. I am sick of living like this.

I feel damaged. Everyone treats me like a bomb ready to go off. Everyone except my man.

My closest ally, my spouse, my best friend in the world wishes I would just snap out of it and stop being so negative. He thinks my hospitalizations are me wanting a vacay from housework. He also thinks medications are poison and unnecessary.

I am alone surrounded by the world.
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Avatar universal
You aren't alone. I suffer from bipolar as well. I've been with my husband for 10 yrs. He has helped me to get the help I need-therapy and medication. He is also my best friend, confidant and biggest supporter. For years before we got together, I self medicated with drugs and alcohol. I went from one bad relationship to the next.
I am just now getting to the point where I can cry easier. With me, crying or the feeling of wanting to cry always triggered anger and outbursts.
Perhaps you could ask your husband to read up on bipolar to help him understand. When I was diagnosed my husband did lots of reading and research.
There are still times he doesn't truly understand my moods. He is always on guard, worried that I may be slipping into a mania. There has actually been times he's had to call the police and have me MHA. Though it was hard to understand at the time, I know it was for the best and how hard it was for him to make that call. And when I hit depression, he doesn't always understand how come all I want to do is sleep and hide from the world.
My family doesn't believe in medication and they think it's all "in my head and I can control it if I want".
I have cut ties with them a long time ago for the sake of my own mental health.
If you ever need to talk about it, feel free to inbox me.
Good Luck!
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Maybe you could go to a bipolar support group in your area? I'm sure they have one for spouses as well. I know that NAMI hosts that kind of thing. I have a lot of friends with bipolar disorder and that helped fight the social isolation.
Helpful - 0
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