Am I crazy

[JazzaBella16]

I have been reading lately online about different mental diseases and I'm not for sure but I think I have depression, bipolar disease, and insomnia. Now I'm only 16 but I have felt this way forever. I just didn't to tell none because I was to afraid. It started when I was 7 or 8. I would just feel all down and I hated myself. I would cry all the time, and feel real bad.Then I would sleep alot, moody, and just recently I found out that if you constantly talk to your self  or if you hear voices that can be a sign manic depression. I know a lot of people just might think they have this disease and really don't. But I don't think I have it because I am not crazy and only crazy people get this. Like right now talking about this is making me cry. Sorry but .

[Xila31]

I've heard things. I hear phones ringing. Funny, huh? Well, it can be scary. Even just the sound of an actual phone actually ringing can give me chills. And I do see little flits and things out of the corner of my eye, but they are not there when I look. Still, I do not think this is craziness. I think people who do things purposfully to hurt others are the crazy ones.

[beautifulbritty712]

And one more thing- I always thought I was seeing ghosts but when i took the antipsychotics I stopped seeing and hearing things and my anxiety decreased a little, so I'm pretty sure it's not ghosts. But now I sto-pped taking the meds I started seeing again and it still scares me and I feel like I'm being haunted.

[beautifulbritty712]

Oh yeah and the times I've seen and heard things I have not been depressed, I have either been manic or mixed. A little when I'm hypomanic, but much less.

[beautifulbritty712]

Well I will try to answer your question. I too started going through these mood changes at a young age. At times when I was very young I would stay up all night and play and watch tv. My parents couldn't make me go to bed because as soon an they were sleeping I would get back up. I would also go through stages of depression where I wouldn't even want to bathe. My mom had to make me. As I got a little older I think I was able to deal with it better but it never really went away. Eventually my mom brought me to my family doc I think at 11 and I was given antidepressants- prozac. My mom thought it was the best thing ever! I was happy all the time, playing and running around. She actually took me back to the dr b/c she thought the meds made me high, they reduced my dose and I just stopped taking them. Everything seemed to go back to normal, with depression sometimes and the mostly hypomania sometimes. I would go to school some weeks and talk to everyone. I would be outgoing and participate in class. Other times I couldn't even stay awake. I would go to the nurse with stomach aches and everyone thought I was faking, but I actually felt sick! When I graduated I signed up for college and never even went to my classes. I started partying all the time and I would try to do the work but I couldn't sit still long enough. I started thinking I was adhd so I made an appt with a pdoc. After a VERY long test they said They thought I was bipolar, I had never even considered this and I took psych classes in hs. I thought they were wrong but decided to take the meds anyway and see, only I knew nothing about it and when they prescribed me welbutrin I didn't know it was a bad idea to take antidepressants alone if you are bipolar. Well I took it for about a week and went crazy. I was telling people I was going to be a pimp and I really thought I would. I went to cash my check after work one morning (I was working third) and the check wouldn't go through the system at the store. It took all my self control not to pull the little old lady over the counter and beat her. Then I went to the bank, but they hadn't opened yet. I really lost it then! I started planning how to blow up the bank, all the time balling uncontrollably. I luckily realized this was not normal behavior, I am a very gentle person, and I stopped taking the meds that day. I accepted that I might be bipolar, read about it in books and online but that doc gave me such a bad experience I didn't take any more meds for a couple years when I ended up in the mental hospital. The meds helped my symptoms but made it impossible to live my life how I wanted, so I stopped taking them. I was on all different stuff- geodon rispiridol thorazine and paxil, I think another but I can't remember what. If I were you I would be very careful about trying any antidepressant, it can make you manic and you might do something you would never do normally. If you do try an antidepressant I would warn the people closest to you of warning signs you may be becoming manic so they can watch out for you because you may not be able to tell yourself. Also the best thing I've read about the disorder is called The Bipolar Handbook, I got it from the library. When I read it it described a bunch of symptoms that I never knew weren't normal. Stuff I always just assumed everyone did but after I read the book I asked people and this stuff really isn't normal, maybe that will give you a better idea. Oh yeah and after I took the welbutrin I am much worse than I was before. My manias and depressions seem worse but maybe it's just because I never thought about what was going on before that and it put it into some perspective for me, but I have recently read if you do take the wrong meds it can permanently worsen ytour condition, so think hard before you do anything and talk to your parents for advice. I don't want to scare you, the meds can help you, but for some people it's just harder to find the right ones that work.

[adel_ezz]

crazy is totally different. It means from the dictionary "to do an insensible or strange behaviour". it's like a teacher wearing his pyjamas and go to the classroom to teach, or a person wearing a brown shoe with a black one without considering that there may be something wrong about that. Our illness is different it's called mental because whereas it stems from the brain it realises well the facts of life but we still struggle to adjust our mood. The latter is responsible for our emotions towards others and towards ourselves so we can be unhappy for no reason say and can hurt ourselves.  

[ILADVOCATE]

I have always identified as being a person with a psychiatric disability. Treatment will improve things and it is worth speaking to a psychiatrist about.

[Xila31]

I would say crazy as in "you're crazy!" is not right. I don't really like the words "normal" and "crazy." That's why I always put them in quotes because they put us into boxes. If you do have depression or bipolar or anything else like that, you're not "crazy." You're really not even that different. Look at how many people are here on this board. The population for depression is huge! You are not alone.

Maybe you feel "crazy" at times, but if doesn't mean your any less of a person. You're still you. You are just made in a certain way that functions in a way that makes things harder. All of us are that way. But, we work on it and get help. Ask for help from a parent or trusted adult. I never got the help I needed and I gave up on people. I don't recommend the path I took. Keep asking until someone listens, no matter what. It will be worth it. You have along life ahead of you.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

And I just remembered depression can get so bad it can get psychotic where you'll hear voices or hallucinate and such.  I thought I'd add that because I realized I accidentally made it sound a lot worse than it could be by just listing Schizophrenia as one of the disorders that causes voices in the head and don't want you worrying needlessly.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

By the way you should talk to a psychiatrist about the problems you're having because they could get worse and worse as time goes on.  They could also get better too but it's better to nip them in the bud sooner than later.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

People with mental illness are not crazy, we are normal people with mental illness.  I sometimes say I'm crazy but that's just me.  I try to never seriously call another person with mental illness "crazy".  Bipolar Disorder is characterized by moods of being high (mania or hypomania) and low (depression).  Sped up and slowed down.  It can turn psychotic when the moods are extreme.  I don't have Bipolar Disorder so I'm not speaking from personal experience and instead I have Paranoid Schizophrenia but it runs in my father's side of the family extensively so I know a lot about it.  Bipolar Disorder isn't the only disorder that can cause you to hear voices as disorders like Schizophrenia can as well which I DO know from personal experience.

[jimgreg]

  no  im bipolar  1  and friend im not crazy..most of us on here are well educated go look at some of our answer's on this site..im all over the plave in medhelp..i bee diagnosed mainly with bp1 they thank i had this from a early age like your thinking..its very possible that you may be bp..but at ur age it can be more deppreshion added ,,when ur depprssed it adds to anxtys and thinking process that change more rapid..this is why its dangerous for kids to take ssri anti depressants,they should mer closely moitherird..you need to seek help from a pdoc to determine if you are..you need to find out asap..by the way your describing it,,it real sounds like a depression issue...