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Bi Polar Best Friend (and roommate) currently hospitalized (First manic episode)

Pleas help with your advice.

My best friend of 17 years and roommate is currently being hospitalized for bipolar hypo-manic symptoms and is planned to be released on Monday. She had her first depressive episode almost 5 years ago (directly after high school). She has experienced severe intense periods of depression a couple times since and was hospitalized twice. But had been happy (or at least stable) for more than a year up till recently. She is now arguably experiencing her first manic episode and it has been incredibly hard. She got off her medication about 3 months back (she was on respiradol). That was working for her. Since she was in a good place and at that time thought she may have depression and PTSD (not bipolar) she wanted to try to get off her medication. I advised her not to but she did and with no medical guidance. She has never had a steady therapist and psychiatrist team. She slowly developed many of the symptoms described in theses blogs. She had/has a "jesus-like" complex, she was/is very empowered by her new sense of self and thought everything she said was the absolute truth. She had fleeting thoughts and rapid speak to the point where even I could not follow her at all. She stopped sleeping much. Would walk up and down hallways at night talking to herself. She, for the first time, became very very angry. She had heighten sensitivity and could not talk about an ever-growing amount of subjects.She screamed so much. She was wearing crazy clothes and bright lipstick. That all was in the 2 or so months after she stopped taking her meds. Then the last month was horrible. She became paranoid and eventually delusional. She talked not clearly about being raped/ that she was going to be raped. Once in a while I could break-through to her and ask "Are you talking metaphorically about how you feel or things that actually happened?". She often cried because she didn't know. She thought the school, her internship and the government wanted to put her in prison. She was terrified of cops. So her mom and I had an intervention. Told her what we were seeing and that we were worried. Told her that we thought she should go to 4-winds (a voluntarily inpatient mental health clinic near by). That ended in her screaming, naked,  hitting her self and attacking us. then she locked herself in her room screaming and threatening to kill herself. We couldn't get in and were terrified and so unfortunately called the police. I thought she would comply with police, but she screamed and attacked the police and refused to put clothes on. Eventually she fell limp and just started saying how she really does want to die now. I've never experienced something more sad and horrifying. So she was hospitalized. They put her on an increased amount of respiradol and sent her off 6 days latter. She did not continue her meds when she left. And after her experience with the hospital and police all her symptoms were worse. Her paranoia and delusions were practically schizophrenic. She decide that her mom has been trying to kill her her whole life, and is a heroine drug addict/ drug lord that uses her for drug and possibly has sold her for sex. For 10 hours straight she continually talked, screamed and cried about theses thoughts to me. I couldn't calm her. So I just nodded my head and told her I loved her and all I want is for her to be happy and safe. The next day she goes to mans house shes only met briefly and refused to answer her phone, or come to the door when I was trying to make sure she was safe. She was having sex with him the entire night. Rachel was not a promiscuous person before this. Also during these past 3 weeks she had quit her internship and job and stopped doing her school work except for sending very obscure and alarming emails to her teachers. I had to threaten to call cops to get her to let me know she was safe when she went to that random guys house (Well It wasn't a threat. I didn't know this man and neither did she and she promised she would let me know she was safe when I texted her and then didn't respond to calls or texts and neither did he.And she was obviously not in a good mental state and in a bad area of the city. I really would have called the cops in fear for her safety.) Then I didn't hear from her the next day except one text that said "safe" around 11am. The guy she was with eventually told me that she had left her phone at his place (in fear that her mom was watching it) and went to the cops to file a restraining order against her mom. We called the cops and they told us nothing. We searched for hours for her. Eventually we find out that she been hospitalized at the same place she had been at less than a week ago. That is where she is at now. This time they have her on respiradol and Depakote. But a week of medication I really fear will not be enough and she will spiral again. I have no idea what to do. I've expressed my concerned to the hospital psychiatrist who is  short with me and says their diagnosis team will figure everything out and hears my concerns. The therapist that she was discharged to previously, and only saw once before she was back, ignored my calls before Rachel's first appointment (where I told her she had been refusing to take her meds and talking about hurting herself) met with her for not even a full hour and did not address her not taking her medication. Her mom wants to help and has been communicating with me  but Rachel does not trust her. She seems to trust me but trusts no ones's advice more than her own. I'm really at a breaking point with anxiety and sadness. I feel like I'm in a constant state of panic (Like when you think a cop behind you is going to pull you over and your heart drops low and body tenses up - feeling that all the time for no reason). I love her so so so much and just want to help her get better. At this point I don't feel very comfortable at home if she is there and neither does our other roommate (who has lived in angry houses and is triggered by her anger). She doesn't let me sleep much. I tried locking her out of my room once with a note on the door that I said "I love you and will talk in morning but I need to sleep a little". And she ended up freaking out. I couldn't keep the door locked cause I feared her hurting herself. I do often fear her hurting me even though I really really really don't think she ever would (fear is hard to control). I've just never seen her this way and I'm constantly worried something will completely snap and she will loose control. She loves me and would never want to hurt me or herself. But even without physical threats to either of us she is loosing her life and mental state and I'm slowly loosing mine in trying to be there for her. I'm talking to her on the phone multiple times a day from the hospital and visiting her when I can. She tells me she loves me and I tell her the same. She will get aggravated if I try to talk about real stuff (like her mental state, meds, what has happened, her safety, school etc...). I don't want her to ever think I am not there for her and I don't want her to think she is a burden and push me away. I just need help, and so does she. She is being released Monday. What do I do? I need to know what to do if, (a) when released she is taking her meds but takes a month plus to recover (which is expected) and I need sleep and space while wanting to support her (I can go to my moms but I worry about her so much it doesn't feel right to leave), and (b) if, like last time, she refuses to take her meds. And she spirals again.

PLEASE any advice or experience would be helpful. Please. Thank you.
1 Responses
6726276 tn?1421130268
Dear Seeking advice.  Does she have insurance?
You need her mom to support you and know what's going on.
DBSA has support groups for family and friends of people with bipolar disorder.
I have bipolar, but what you describe sounds like she has more mental issues than just bipolar.
Maybe you need to be advised by someone at the hospital. Or maybe she could go into a county hospital & they would treat her for longer periods of time.
Where does she get her money? Maybe you could help her get SDI.
  I had an experience with an out of control boyfriend and he'd keep me up all night. It really affected my work and my work was really important to me & I was making excellent money. It lasted 3 1/2 yrs. I should have bailed much sooner. It was the worst relationship of my life.
   So, if she's better on her meds but goes off when she refuses meds, you may need to reconsider this relationship.  Good luck. Maxy
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