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Bipolar Disorder Community
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Bipolar Boyfriend left for no reason

I have been dating my bipolar boyfriend for a little over a year, most of this being long distance. We met and instantly fell in love. A love that I have never experienced before. He is so attentive and we are so connected that I could never truly picture letting him go. Through the long distance we have had many arguments and there are a lot of stressors added to our relationship (money, jobs, distance, jealousy, trust). Last April he had a manic episode that landed him in the mental hospital for two weeks. At the beginning of the episode (before I realized he was manic) he was very agitated and was always yelling at me and blaming me for everything. One morning at 6 am he called and dumped me out of nowhere and told me that I sounded like a baby because I was crying. I had never felt that pain before in my life. I truly felt like I was dying, couldnt eat or sleep or focus on anything. After a few days in the mental hospital he called and told me he had no memory of breaking up with me and wanted to be together and missed me and loved me so much. I visited everyday and everything was better than it ever had been. He was released and promised to stay on his meds. I came home for summer and things were great. We fought about petty things but overall we were working it out.I then went back to school in a different state and things continued to be fine. He came to visit and it was like we had first met, the connection was back and everything was great, except I could tell something was off. He assured me it was nothing and returned home. The next few days I barely heard from him at all and he was agitated with me. He then broke up with me and said he needed space to think. At this point he told me that before he had visited he had been suspended from work which was the reason he was acting weird towards me. I, again, felt like I was dying. How could he do this after he was just here visiting and things were fine? I called and cried and begged him to come back but he just didn't know what he was unsure about but he needed space. He then contacted me a few days later and acted like everything was fine. He even asked what I was nervous about and when I said "our relationship" he said "oh yeah duh sorry." He says he misses me but isn't ready to make a decision right now. I feel like he is being completely heartless and cruel but for some reason I can't seem to let this go. What do i do? Is he going to come back? Is this him or is it his bipolar? I live in a different state so I can't always be sure that he is taking his meds.
1 Responses
Avatar universal
I'm bipolar and I think I understand the situation. When I was recovering from mania, I was simply willing to let everything go, you feel like you loose everything so out of anger ( and not thinking straight), you're willing to loose your job on purpose, drop out of school and create tension in your relationships. Truth is, he needs his medication and support from friends and family, primarily that he takes his meds, second, that he starts thinking of ways to take back his life, like a job or school. And you should support him if you love him, to get his life back on track, he'll come to his right senses of appreciating whats around him. He may be having symptoms of megalomania which is feeling very important to think the situation is always solved by him. So insist in him taking his meds, and be compassionate and the RIGHT TYPE of supportive.
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