I've been to the doc recently and I have a psycologist appointment oct 22nd. He suggested I have social anxiety or stress but I'm not sure. I was never one to really react to stress. Here's the full picture; I'm known for my undecisivness and mood swings. I have been extremely happy (to the point of causing people pain and laughing about it) and right after having giult for who knows what. I get depressed 4 days out of the week and cry uncontrolably. I'm always thinking. Tunes, lyrics, obscene things just name it. Often when its lyrics its just fragments of it over and over, I cant get passed it. Obscene thoughts as well. I think of suicide casually, though I dont want to die. I dont always get anxious to an extreme degree but when it gets bad it feels like I'm jumping out of my skin, also as if my skin is getting punctured by needles. It takes a while to fall asleep because I need to think of a noise outside which unfortunately sends me uncontrolable memories. I basicly feel like I have no controle over my mind or feelings. No one died, no one aggrivated me, heck maybe no one even talked to me that day but I cant help but to feel what I feel. I'm 17 years old and it's unlikely to be PMS. I have conversations in my head sometimes with myself and sometimes with other people. I hear that isn't right but I know alot of people who do it. I get so mad sometimes my skin boils. Apparently I look like a mad woman. Anyway, I dont have hallusinations and such so (or atleast I cant remember) but sometimes things do feel so surreal. Im just sick of getting looked at like a weirdo when I'm feeling happy.
Anyway, hope to get a reply. Thanks!
-Anna