Bipolar female, confused and depressed

[michelle63]

I am a 45 year old white female, diagnosed with bipolar disorder since 1997.

I am taking wellbutrin xl 300mgr, lexapro 20mg, trileptal 300mg, ativan .5mg and for my hypo-thyroid, synthroid 50mg.

Can anyone refer me to a therapist, psychiatrist and out-patient partial program that accepts Medicare Insurance.

I live in Southern, California (Los Angeles County), Woodland Hills of the West San Fernando Valley.

My mood has been depressed, since an increase in my lexapro from 15mg to 20mg, I am not crying as much. Whenever my menses cycle starts, I get extremely depressed, is that normal?

Is it common for people who have been abused as a child to get bipolar disorder? My grandmother was bipolar.

Everyday seems the same to me, I have no routine, I sleep in my bedroom all day and have no enthusiasm to go out of the house.  I need feedback, encouragement,  suggestions, friendship to help me sort out what to do with my free time and if anyone out there would like to meet for a cup of coffee.  

I feel alone, hopeless, low self-esteem, depressed, anxious and don't no what to do with my life? Any suggestions?

Thank you.

Michelle

[gracie1972]

   You can look online to look for therapist in your area if you have an hmo you have to contact behavioral health hotline if you have an hmo most of them dont require a prior authorization you can request  a dr thats near you  group therapy helps too it did for me i went for months i was part of a county mental health center for years in the past 6 years i take depekote 500mg in morning and 500mg at night seroquel 200mg it also helps with my insomia and cymbalta for depression 30mg it made me nauseated first 3 days then went away and 4 others for different pronblems i feel good and very focused i used to stay in bed alot and couldnt get out in mornings from depression many years ago my meds were changed cause one named abilify gave me severe side effects wasnt able to think right and made me very feraful you need to communicate everything you feel to dr so he can give you the right ones im forty one now and like i said started like this with bipolar disorder since age 22 im doing so much better have came along way also if you have medicare and medical you can go to and  dr directly that takes it you can ask to also speak with a therapist if you dont want to go to groups e or she can refer you somewhere goodluck hope everything goes well for you

[gracie1972]

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since my early twenty s it was very hard married trying to raise 2beautiful boys and not have them notice i had alot of help from my husband mother and sister i work many jobs not trying to depend on anything went to school for many different things cant stay in one place when i got diagnosed was very hard and in denial for years didnt want to depend on meds now i have other medical promblems fibromylagia chronic pain that woman mainly have and prediabetes my kids received counseling they know about my condition their is people with worst promblems i had a hard life as a child having to see my mother work hard to support five kids then one more later i came out a hard worker like her but had to slow down i still dream of doing so many things you need to pray to god theirs people with worst promblems now i follow all my dr's orders i have to greats pets two small dogs that helped my depresssion alot keep myself busy around my home i think look what happens around the world and one more thing we are in the best country that i love and couldnt have a better life and so proud to be here just love yourself

[RubyShooz]

I know how you feel, I experience many of the same feelings on a daily basis.  I am 59 yrs. old and recently retired.  I recently asked my husband, who has been retired for 10 years, how does he cope with the boredom of being in the house day after day with no direction in life, nothing to do?  He does not suffer from mental illness -- and he told me he reads a good book or magazine for a while, when he's tired of that he might go onto his computer and do some web surfing, then he might go outside and sit in the sun for a while, maybe walk across the street to chat with a neighbor.  Later on he might go to the library or the coffee shop.  He just manages to keep himself occupied during the day with little things.  I am trying to adopt his attitude and it seems to be helping me.
Maybe you can try to think of it that way.  Just take baby steps.  Find something to occupy yourself for the next 30 minutes.  After that, try something for another 30 minutes.  Keep doing that throughout the day and before you know it, the day will be done and you can do the same thing tomorrow.  Just break your day down into 30 minute segments -- it's easier to face it that way, instead of thinking you have the next 14 or 16 hours to cope with all at once.

Hugs,
Ruby

[prettyinpink400]

i understand where youre coming from i been through a lot in my life also but the answer is jesus he can help you get into a good church then ull find happiness

[determined2beatit]

Hi Michelle,
You are not alone!! Yes, premenstrual time brings a very severe increase in moods for me as well. Bipolar runs in my family also, very strongly with my mother grandmother, ect. Stressful situations will bring out bipolar and or an episode. Sounds like you need med adjustments. I'm not saying that you'll never have bad moods but overall,you should be feeling better than what you are experiencing. I also have hypothyroidism and take synthroid. I agree you should see what your levels are with your thyroid first to see if you need an increase. That sounds like a low dose but everyone is different so I don't know. Overall, you need to have more energy and happiness in your life and it sounds like you're struggling. I feel bad for you and hope that you can see your doc and get into a much better state so you can then see things more clearly! We do suffer with bouts in Bipolar but generally there is a sense of stability between them. At least with meds, that's what the doc strives for.
Definate;y check out your thyroid levels and if that's O.K then talk to your doc. Or call the doc and let them do both!!
i wish you luck!!

[marv7]

Hi Michelle,
I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 13 then rediagnosed with bipolar at the age of 15. I am now 29.
I understand all that you are feeling. Before my cycle I get very depressed as well. My thoughts just are not rational. I have a lot of negative chatter which causes the low self esteem. We need not to be so hard on ourselves!

I live in California but I am located in the foothills. I am seeing a great psychiatrist in Modesto, but I don't know of any in your area.
Maybe you see if there are any support groups for those with bipolar in your area. Do you have a county mental health facility there? If so, maybe you could get information from them. Try going online and google any psychiatrists/therapists in your area.
(I recommend seeing both a therapist and psychiatrist)

I really don't know if abuse can cause bipolar, but if one is predisposed to having mental illness (chemical imbalance) it could be possible that abuse may trigger it.

You are not alone. I just came upon Medhelp last week ( I am suffering from horrible anxiety) and I am so glad that I did.

Just out of curiosity who put you on these meds?

Keep me updated
Best of luck, Mary

[Venora Moonwind]

I forgot to add that NO caffiene and no sugar as these aggravate bi polar.Both of these are the most addictive substances that are legal without a prescription.LOL
Love Venora

[Venora Moonwind]

I think you can google for docs and therapist in your area. also childhood abuse doesnt make you bi polar necassarily. It does seem to be inherited, Bi polar is a chemical inbalance in the brain sometimes too much seritonin and dopamine, the manic andsometimes not enough the depression side. you seem to be going through the depression side right now.
diet 6 small meals a day with lots of fruit and veggies and grains. 3 oz lean meats per meal.
exercise try walking for a t least 30 mins every day and this boost your seritonin to lift your mood
Now get to your doc and tell them what you written here because it is obvious your meds arent doing what they should be doing for you.
Now I am thryoidless and I take  levthyroixine. You may not \be on the right dose of thryoid meds. When was the last time you had your TSH checked It should be checked at least every 6 weeks. You sound like you are still hypo from what you have written and hypo will make you VERY depressed. and when I was hypo getting ready for my cancer treament I felt like it was the worst depression even worse than bi polar depression
If you cant find a doc then call the state social  services. Californis I am pretty sure has alot help they can give you.
so get your thryoid checked and go from there.
Let me know what you find out.
BTW TSH should be in the .3 to 3.0 range to feel the best. I am at .1 and I feel really good but I am also having to keep it that low for cancer suppersion.
you are in my prayers.
Love Venora