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Bipolar or not

Hi,
it's been about 2 years since I know my fiance. Our relationship has always been unstable and I suspect that he has got bipolar disorder. His attitude have always deeply affected me, but I haven't thought about the illness until I talked about his behavior with a friend of mine. Here it is: he spends all my money without giving much thought to what he buys, he is addicted to alcohol, he has mood swings: every other week, he decides to act coldly to me without any reason- he himself told me that he does not know why there are days he wakes up believing that i did something wrong to him and he gets mad. One week he has huge dreams about our future, and the other, he is not sure if he wants to be with me and blames me for it. And this happens like on a schedule- his happy moods never last for more than a week or two.
It is really exhausting. However I am not sure that he is acting like so because of some mental illness. He is 32 and none of his family members talk about noticeable mood swings on his part or of other behavioral problems that he may have.
My question is: How can I be sure that my fiance is suffering from bipolar disorder?
1 Responses
1415482 tn?1459702714
Firstly, his behaviour falls under the umbrella of various mental disorders, based on the symptoms you have described. The only way to be sure is to seek professional assistance and advise. Secondly, I have found that family members, because of the long standing relationships they have with each other, they do not always identify a member's behaviour and associate with a mental disorder. Due to the number of years they spend together and the experiences that they share, they may have just learnt to take the good with bad and chalk up behaviours as 'just his personality'. They have seen him laugh as much as they have seen him cry and all of that just adds to family experience. As a new person and when I say 'new', I mean someone who has not known him his entire life, you may be more likely to notice things that are "off".It is kind of like an 'outside looking in' scenario. Also, because you are his fiance, he might show you more of his 'bad side' or 'bad moods' than he would his family members.It is in the same way one would probably cry to a girlfriend about relationship woes than family members sometimes.

Finally my dear, it is important to acknowledge that you are human and you deserve all the wonders and happiness life can supply. I urge you to consider the life you want to reflect on years from now. This man is grown and irrespective of whatever conditions he has, he does not have the right to treat you poorly simply because he feels like it. You need to stand up for yourself and let him know that you are worthy and he needs to treat you well. He needs to get help and you can support him but you should never place yourself in a position to be anybody's punching bag. You are important too.

Wishing you peace and happiness,


Anna.
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