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Celexa and Xanax not working for my mental illness
I have posted on here before. I just need to talk. I will be 53 in a few weeks. I am bipolar II, have extreme anxiety, OCD and PTSD. I just went through 5 months of my 30 yr. old son having a terrible breakdown. Three hospitalizations in that 5 mth. period. Been a slow recovery for him, but he is starting to improve thank God. Taking his meds and going to his counseling sessions. I have stood by him during this. I would have it no other way.
Frankly though, I am so exhausted. And it is not physical but mentally and emotionally. I have struggled with bipolar and the anxiety for many years. And thinking over it all, I have been ok at times, but never what I would call in a good place. Years ago, I was put on a mixture of meds. So many I lost about 3 yrs. of my life pretty much. I never allowed that to happen again. But yet, I still think I have never found the right combo of meds. Currently I take 20 mgs. of Celexa. Cannot tolerate 40 mg. as it takes away my edge. By that I mean, it devoids me of my feelings and takes away my energy to do things. I just don't care on the 40 mgs. basically. Then, I am on 1 mg. of Xanax 3 times a day. Sure the Xanax takes away the anxiety quickly. But, I have tapered down off the Xanax before for a few days. And it is a beast. I do not abuse the Xanax whatsoever. But, I know I am addicted all the same. It would take me going into the hospital, to come off of the Xanax. And I was prescribed 150 mg. of Seroquel XR about 6 mths. ago. It is to help me sleep. I cannot tolerate the Seroquel. It knocks me out cold and I am so hungover the next morning.
I cannot go to a psychiatrist. We lost our health insurance several years ago due to the economy and my husband losing his long time job. I have tried to get into programs, but because my husband works, I do not qualify. I do though have a family doctor. And he tries to listen to me and treat my mental illness. But, I know it is not the same as seeing a psychiatrist. But, you work with what you have. I am currently waiting on a decision to be made by an administrative law judge on my disability. Been fighting disability well over 2 yrs. and is has been nothing but stressful. My health is declining and I know this messes with my mental illness as well. I have COPD and it is depressing knowing you have a disease. A disease that you helped cause on yourself.
My memory has gotten really bad in areas. I have been greatly noticing that the past year. My doctor says it is age. But, I am not that old. Or I don't think almost 53 is old...LOL. I guess I see myself slowly sliding into a possible deep depression. Been there enough times, I recognize the warning signs. I have to be the strong one in my family. And I just don't always feel strong. Who is there for me? And I am losing weight. About 10 lbs. I am taller and weigh 130 currently. I have to keep some weight on me in case, I get ill due to the COPD. Food has not tasted right in the past year as well. Don't know if all this is due to stress or something else possibly physical going on with me. So, that stresses me out worrying about my health and with no insurance.
I don't know what all I am trying to say here. Just basically I am not feeling very well. Does anyone have any suggestions about possible meds I could look into? The meds I am currently on, just does not seem to be doing much for me at all. I try to cope with being mentally ill, as I know it will always be a part of me, like the COPD now is. But, I have battled mental illness for so long. I just think it could be better for me somehow. Thank you for listening to me. Any suggestions would be so appreciated.
Frankly though, I am so exhausted. And it is not physical but mentally and emotionally. I have struggled with bipolar and the anxiety for many years. And thinking over it all, I have been ok at times, but never what I would call in a good place. Years ago, I was put on a mixture of meds. So many I lost about 3 yrs. of my life pretty much. I never allowed that to happen again. But yet, I still think I have never found the right combo of meds. Currently I take 20 mgs. of Celexa. Cannot tolerate 40 mg. as it takes away my edge. By that I mean, it devoids me of my feelings and takes away my energy to do things. I just don't care on the 40 mgs. basically. Then, I am on 1 mg. of Xanax 3 times a day. Sure the Xanax takes away the anxiety quickly. But, I have tapered down off the Xanax before for a few days. And it is a beast. I do not abuse the Xanax whatsoever. But, I know I am addicted all the same. It would take me going into the hospital, to come off of the Xanax. And I was prescribed 150 mg. of Seroquel XR about 6 mths. ago. It is to help me sleep. I cannot tolerate the Seroquel. It knocks me out cold and I am so hungover the next morning.
I cannot go to a psychiatrist. We lost our health insurance several years ago due to the economy and my husband losing his long time job. I have tried to get into programs, but because my husband works, I do not qualify. I do though have a family doctor. And he tries to listen to me and treat my mental illness. But, I know it is not the same as seeing a psychiatrist. But, you work with what you have. I am currently waiting on a decision to be made by an administrative law judge on my disability. Been fighting disability well over 2 yrs. and is has been nothing but stressful. My health is declining and I know this messes with my mental illness as well. I have COPD and it is depressing knowing you have a disease. A disease that you helped cause on yourself.
My memory has gotten really bad in areas. I have been greatly noticing that the past year. My doctor says it is age. But, I am not that old. Or I don't think almost 53 is old...LOL. I guess I see myself slowly sliding into a possible deep depression. Been there enough times, I recognize the warning signs. I have to be the strong one in my family. And I just don't always feel strong. Who is there for me? And I am losing weight. About 10 lbs. I am taller and weigh 130 currently. I have to keep some weight on me in case, I get ill due to the COPD. Food has not tasted right in the past year as well. Don't know if all this is due to stress or something else possibly physical going on with me. So, that stresses me out worrying about my health and with no insurance.
I don't know what all I am trying to say here. Just basically I am not feeling very well. Does anyone have any suggestions about possible meds I could look into? The meds I am currently on, just does not seem to be doing much for me at all. I try to cope with being mentally ill, as I know it will always be a part of me, like the COPD now is. But, I have battled mental illness for so long. I just think it could be better for me somehow. Thank you for listening to me. Any suggestions would be so appreciated.
I can really see how hard it is thinking that you must take care of everyone in your life. That leads me to loose it. Not a good idea. you should discuss your needs also so that you can take care of yourself too. You are very lucky to have a doctor who is trying to help you. Maybe you could do some research to see some other medications that could help and discuss those options with your doctor. btw Im pretty sure people who are tapering of xanex should be done extremely slow as in at .25mill intervals with weeks in between. The side effects are extreme and include possible death seizure and the list goes on and on. Take it from someone who knows first hand. Had a seizure buy lowering dose in half and then quitting. It was the worst two months of my life having the withdrawals and boy did my restless leg syndrome get really bad and the effect on my nervous system was not pretty. I had electrical shock feelings. I couldn't be touched. Didn't eat for hardly at all for weeks. The effects are similar to an intense alcoholic comeing off the alcohol. Do your research before you go adjusting your dose I had my seizure while still taking them but with a .75 milligram dose down from 3 mill or 4 day a day. Good luck and I hope you feel better :)
Hi
I echo with what ILADVOCATE is saying. One more thing i want to add that sometimes GP and family doctors function well.This doesn't mean I am underestimating the role of pdocs, but many of them have an aggressive style with meds. You know some of those who answered posts here like IL can tell you out of experience what pdocs may not know, but the reason nobody can't write or advise anything here is because they are not entitled to, 1st it isn't allowed, 2nd unethical, 3rd have no credits or medical background, can't withstand the consequences, etc...etc...the reason for telling you this is that a great of deal of recovery is based upon the trust between the patient and his doctor. For example i have no trust in many of the pdocs i see, only one at last and perhaps still....so your family doctor may be able to walk with you in this difficult journey better than a pdoc who will see you for a few minutes and write you a script in hurry to follow and wait a few weeks to see again.
perhaps your health is not going on well due to your chronic emphysema and not the BP but of course the latter helps to slip down too. Automatically a BP takes a mood stabilizer and your doc knows this well but since he doesn't write it it could be that in order not to exhaust you more than you do, perhaps you can discuss this with him. Usually they write an MS fearing from getting manic but i see that your celexa was not dangerous over the years. Try not to exceed 0.75 of xanax daily in order not to have as IL said withdrawal symptoms.
I really wished i could help, but you may need another different style of life which can make things differ and not just the meds. Only i am trying to say that pdocs are not magicians and some make fatal errors. I am lucky here that i almost can see any pdoc the same day i want to with an extra fee to pay, and out of the few bloody dozens, if not fifties, i saw i can't count more than one or perhaps nil that i think is better than me. All they have a surplus is what is called the "clinical sense" built up in years from their mistakes with their patients. Of course this could be only the Egyptian experience, hopefully it isn't like this in the USA or Europe. But i know one thing, people get manic even under their mood stabiliizers, so it's a trial and error process until you reach the right combo and pts stay years trying, so if you end up with a FAIR combo that works almost well and you build up trust with your family doctor, then i would say don't wait for miracles to come, stick for the moment to your doc until something else appears.
you are still very young, 53 is nothing in this era, try to eat better and do a lot of walking and don't keep trying to solve all the problems around you, your husband, son, this put a burden upon you
good luck
I echo with what ILADVOCATE is saying. One more thing i want to add that sometimes GP and family doctors function well.This doesn't mean I am underestimating the role of pdocs, but many of them have an aggressive style with meds. You know some of those who answered posts here like IL can tell you out of experience what pdocs may not know, but the reason nobody can't write or advise anything here is because they are not entitled to, 1st it isn't allowed, 2nd unethical, 3rd have no credits or medical background, can't withstand the consequences, etc...etc...the reason for telling you this is that a great of deal of recovery is based upon the trust between the patient and his doctor. For example i have no trust in many of the pdocs i see, only one at last and perhaps still....so your family doctor may be able to walk with you in this difficult journey better than a pdoc who will see you for a few minutes and write you a script in hurry to follow and wait a few weeks to see again.
perhaps your health is not going on well due to your chronic emphysema and not the BP but of course the latter helps to slip down too. Automatically a BP takes a mood stabilizer and your doc knows this well but since he doesn't write it it could be that in order not to exhaust you more than you do, perhaps you can discuss this with him. Usually they write an MS fearing from getting manic but i see that your celexa was not dangerous over the years. Try not to exceed 0.75 of xanax daily in order not to have as IL said withdrawal symptoms.
I really wished i could help, but you may need another different style of life which can make things differ and not just the meds. Only i am trying to say that pdocs are not magicians and some make fatal errors. I am lucky here that i almost can see any pdoc the same day i want to with an extra fee to pay, and out of the few bloody dozens, if not fifties, i saw i can't count more than one or perhaps nil that i think is better than me. All they have a surplus is what is called the "clinical sense" built up in years from their mistakes with their patients. Of course this could be only the Egyptian experience, hopefully it isn't like this in the USA or Europe. But i know one thing, people get manic even under their mood stabiliizers, so it's a trial and error process until you reach the right combo and pts stay years trying, so if you end up with a FAIR combo that works almost well and you build up trust with your family doctor, then i would say don't wait for miracles to come, stick for the moment to your doc until something else appears.
you are still very young, 53 is nothing in this era, try to eat better and do a lot of walking and don't keep trying to solve all the problems around you, your husband, son, this put a burden upon you
good luck
Firstly its easy to build up a tolerance to Xanax over time so it doesn't work as well as it did. Celexa does help on depression but I believe that they would need to prescribe a full mood stabilizer as well. If you are able to find even minor part time work (even an hour a month) I believe your state has the Medicaid Buy in for Working People with Disabilities.so that could provide coverage for a psychiatrist. As regarding denials for Soc. Sec. and waiting for an ALJ hearing, if you obtained legal representation (and there are free legal services, many of the IL centers provide representation as well) they could communicate with the appeals office and perhaps have the process expidited. These would be some ideas that might work.
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