Children with Biploar or just a brat

[mckiam]

I have a questions to ask. My step son has been having a lot of issues lately, but only at home with his mom.  He is 11 years old and she is now stated that the doctors think he is bipolar. He hits, swears, distroys things in her home and treats her like ****.  When he comes to our home he does not act like this at all. He does get mad and say he hates us when he does not get his way, but he in no way talks bad to us like he does her.  If you are bipolar can you control your emotions to only be taking out on one person.  I know this might so stupid, but I am trying to understand if this is an real issue of if something else is going on in the home that we might not know about.



Thank yoy for any responses.

[justneed2no]

i work with bp kids all day long and would gladly say that some of them may add on a little but for the most part if i bp kid is going to acted it dosent matter who you are if his doing it at home but not anywhere else he might be just a brat to her because he knows he cant do it around you guys a real bp kid  never picks who their going to act out on ,,,,, is mom letting him get away with to much but talking about it may help to find out if anything is going on woth him it might just want some attention from mom and thats a easy way to get it ,...

[Rozanna]

Omg, I can tell you don’t have a BP child because there is a fine line between Childs play and being safe and not being safe and hurting others. It very sad when people start posting things that make it sound like we want to medicate our kids and we want the drama so until you walk a day in my shoes don’t tell me that its my choice, because clearly this is not the life I  imagine when I brought my son into this world.    
And by the way I’m not supposed to be my Childs friend. I’m his parent and that is what I’m doing (parenting). I take him to the doctor, I listen to the doctor’s advice, and then I make a grown up decision.  I remember my dream and I never hurt anybody!

[chrisn0va]

I was like this as a child, when you are a kid, and your parents reality starts seeping into your own, its very Difficult.. because.. u are a child.. u want to live in your imagination, u want to create, dream, have adventures... and when your parents dull lifeless reality starts taking over your colorful imagination ... u rebel.. this is how u rebel... this is how u punish them for punishing you.. and it will always happen untill u learn how to make life an adventure with your son or daughter.. untill u learn how to make things fun.. this doesnt take money all the time, alot of the time it takes your imagination. and effort.. and caring.. and if those things are not present.. well good luck dealing with your children.. because.. they wont be your friend if you wont be theres and 'play nice' with them...

its your choice!!!! u were a child once too u know.. remember and dream of how u wished things were..  have some compasion..

[mckiam]

Thank you so much for your response.  I do feel that he is depressed and does have something going on (anger issues).  I do know that he does act out at home becasue my husband has to go to the home to control the sitiuation, but usually by the time he gets to their home he is done with his fit.  So we still never see him act like this. He does swear and talk back to his mother when people are around, but will not do it if she is not around.  I know she is a good mother and tries her best to handle him and well as his step dad.  I just don't see why he alls acts out only to her. The other day he got really mad because he smiled at her and she didn't smile back.  I guess I just don't get it. I feel he is really wanting her attention and I know he gets it (or at least I think).  I have asked his doctor and she indicated that most kids only act out with there primary care giver. Which could be true, but I think he would be getting in trouble or acting out in more places than 1. I would think he would not be able to control his emotions all day at school or the weekends with us.

Sorry for rambeling, but I am just trying to get info.

Thank you

[Rozanna]

Ok well I will give you my opinion. I’m a mother of a son who has been diagnosed since the age of 5 ½. With BP.  My son is very flip floppy, he is very demanding over certain things. He will through a fit anywhere, and he doesn’t care who watches.   His behavior problems are at home, school, stores, restaurants; you just never know when it will hit him. His meltdowns last anywhere from 30mintues to hours.  

With my son most of the time you can’t tell when his moods are going to change he can become happy to mad in minutes, silly to aggressive the next.  I never know day to day how he will act, feel, or what he will do.  I take it a day at a time and sometimes even a moment at a time with him.

I don’t think any kid does things for no reason there is a reason for his action. No matter if he is bipolar or whatever label he has, he must know he is safe, especially when he can’t control himself. Most kids with bipolar, go to the extreme over everything.  My son will hit, kick, scream, cry, bite, pinch, throw things, pull your hair, any thing he can do. But when he comes out of these fits he is usually sorry.  

The good thing is your stepson is able to talk.  That is a big advantage call a family meeting ask him what is going on at home. Bring his mom into the meeting. Let him talk even if he is lying let him talk.  That will make him know your not just listing to her story.  Also mom and dad and step mom must be working on the same team. Don’t let him play you guess all kids are good at that.

I will say I find it odd that nobody else is seeing the same things that his mom is seeing out of him. But that’s not to say she is lying.

Some red flags are:

Off the chart temper tantrums or meltdowns (especially when the child doesn’t get his way)

General problems with sleep.

Laughing, teasing, and joking that seems fake, excessive, or “put on”.

Consistent lying, or telling wild, made- up stories.

Difficulty focusing during the day, alternating periods of clarity.

Falling grades or reports of bad behavior or bullying at school.

If you would like to read my stories about my son
One--- is under Please help!
Second is ---what’s going on with my 7 year old son?

hope this helps Rozanna