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406957 tn?1203000500

Confused-please help me...........

I was just told 2 and a half weeks ago that I am BP. The doctor just asked a few questions and put the answers  in his computer, First time seeing him and it lasted 30 minutes....I have known that something has been wrong with mefor many years, even when I was young....I had a Hysterectomy Nov. of 06 at the age of 28. I was put on Cymbalta and was taking birthcontrol to help with the harmones....I have always had problems with depression and lying, doing things with out thinking what the consequence would be..... My Grand-mother was a Manic-depressent. My Mother I guess you can say she was...I also get the blues REAL bad in the winter...I HATE IT...plus I live in Indy....I am from the south...which makes my winters here worse...I just don't know what to believe, I want to believe that I am BP, so I would have an answer as to why I do this stupid ****. I have very intense rages at moments, or I just lay around not wanting to do anything, there are days I won't even shower. I have a family, husband, son and step-daughter, which I feel have been affected by this....I get angry very easly, and I yell.....Since seeing this Doctor-once- He gave me the starter packet for Seroquel, 50mg,100mg,200mg,300mgs....told me to take at bedtime and to call him on the 5th day, to let him know which one I did ok on...well the only one I had a problem with was the 200-I didn't go to bed within an hour and I felt as it I was gonna pass out....anyways, so I take the 300 thinking that this is fine, I felt ok the next day, not drugged up....So I have him call me in the 300, Second night taking it, I felt like I was hit with a horse tranquilizer- I was panic-y, racing thoughts, I felt like I had RLS-restless leg syndrom(which he asked me if I felt that I might have that @ my visit with him and I thought it to be strange)  I was scared, but I took it again,.... Same thing....not as bad....So I started breaking them in half, felt as it I was ok on that, but I called his "go-between" and she called me in 100...now I feel like it's not enough....anyways
I have issues, I know....but can I be sure that this is Bi-Polar? or thyroid or just my hormones? I do have these-what I call a panic attack- but it's more like a bad case of deja' vu. I get scared and they only last for a few seconds, is this part of BP?
I have so many ?'s And I know I have rambled, but I need help understanding this- I am seeing a Psychologist and she agrees.... I guess,-they work together in the same office-which is what I wanted-both theropy and Meds.....
I just don't know if this is what they say it is..........Can anyone give me some answers on any of this????
7 Responses
212753 tn?1275076711
WEll you need to give the therapy and meds time to work. It is hard when you first get a bi polar Dx I know I fought it for a long time I take celexa and zyprexa and I do great on this combo. I am not too familiar with seraquel. you did mention your thryoid. Have you had it checked?
Its goning to be ok for you. Keep coming here and you cna ramble as long as you like. this forum is great.keep in touch and let me know how you progress with your meds and therapy/
Love Venora
393685 tn?1425816122
Wendy - please go back to my post on your question you left on the thyroid forum. I was complelled to see your posts here and I think you should check my journal out to.

After reading you post here - I began to bawl because I WAS YOU for 2 years!!!

Please check out my journal and IM me if you wish. I am so scared your doctor is not listening to you.

293964 tn?1200417469
hi Wendystarr.  Most of what you're talking about falls into the Read All You Can On The Internet and whatever other sources you have.  Education makes a difference in how you perceive yourself and those around you.  The seroquel anxiety thing you described is something that might have happened to me, too.  It could be a paradoxical reaction, which will subside with time.  Yes, give yourself and the drugs time to settle in.  You'll feet better with a little time.  shawn
Avatar universal
I agree with Shawn. Go to the internet look up everything on Bipolar Depression that you can.  I have to tell you that at one time I was on 400mg of Seroquel and felt very drugged. I am down to 100mg, but feel the feelings of being violent coming back. So I am going to talk with my psych and see if there is something else I can take. I also take 300mg of Lamictal, which do help with my mood swings, plus 60mg of Celexa however still depressed. I live in the snowbelt of PA and also am more depressed in the winter. Ask him about SADD. (Seasonal Affective Dysforic Disease) This is very common for individuals who life in a place who have a great deal of snow.  I hope this helps.

Good Luck and God Bless

Avatar universal
I was diagnosed with Manic-Depression 13 years ago.  I take lithium & Zoloft daily (also Buspar).  I always forget about that one!  Winter is sheer hell for me.  I always say I was meant to be a big black bear that hibernates all winter!  Every winter, although I've been dealing with it forever, I just know spring is never going to come.  So I have learned to try to be introspective.  To follow winter into its deep sleep and stillness and look at the lessons presented to me; to let it take me by the hand and lead me on a journey into myself and show me what it will.  I keep a journal and write poetry and sometimes short stories.  I have come to think over the years that depression might be a sort of forced inventory  of oneself.  A way to make us slow down and look at life.  I prefer to think there is something more.  It is a soothing way to deal with it.    
212753 tn?1275076711
winter is a bear for us I absolutly HATE January. I am lucky to be in Oklahoma cause we get our spring at the first of March. I took my grandsons to the Myriad gardesn today. It is a huge green house with all kinds of growing. things. It was soooo good to see green and bloomiong things that I felt like my soul was refreshed. everyone hang in htere Spring is right around the corner.
Love Venora
Avatar universal
Thank you for the encouragement, Venora.  It is priceless.  Hurry spring, hurry fast!
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