Darkness

[Bubulous]

The storm's rolling in, it's after my soul
My brain switches off, I'm losing control
The wind's picking up, my roof is now gone
The storm's getting stronger, I try to hold on
An invisible foe ties a new anchor
I can't run away, my life is in danger
How do you fight what you cannot see
This fatal deppresion deep inside me
My walls are crumbling, I thought they were stronger
I close my eyes, I can take this no longer
My clothes are ripped from me, I cling to my soul
It's all I have left, I'm losing control
I'm fat and I'm dumb, I'm fragile and scared
I can't concentrate, this life isn't fair
My opinions don't matter, I'm losing my will
It's time to escape by taking a pill
The addict takes over, he copes with the rain
He helps me escape by numbing the pain
The ground falls beneath me, I begin to fall fast
My gift is a curse, how long can this last
This cycle's not new, I've done this before
I pray for a cure, bipolar no more
An inevitable endingto a bittersweet life
The blood's gonna drip from the edge of this knife
Admitting I'm powerless I go to the Brook
The answers are hidden in this simple notebook
My life's in danger please give me the tools
I'll attend all the groups and follow the rules
I emerge from the hole, the sun's shining bright
I open my eyes and I'm through with the fight
Through all my hard work my brain switches on
The mania returns and the darkness is gone

[Bubulous]

Thanks friend,

These days I am alot more stable.  I still cycle more than most I know but I am so proud that I have learned how to cope with it.  I have to come on here.  I need this more than anybody.  If I inspire some people along the way it makes me feel good.  I live in a small town where they don't have support groups for people like me with....
Extreme codependency, PTSD, Chemical Dependency,and Bipolar
This is the only way for me to get support for all these things, and I hope I stay this time, have a good night and I will talk to you guys and gals tomorrow.

Larry

[Bunkyburman]

Sorry to hear you were not well!  I hope things are going better.  You have been a great help to me and I appreciate everything.  Keep your chin up.

[YesLife4Me]

Great poem!    

[opus88]

Larry you certainly are talented, that writing was so very deep raw and emotional, I could feel your pain in the words..I'm glad you are doing better with coping this terrible disease. keep up the fight my good man.
I would like to see this written out on a journal so more sufferers can view...its so very well said....wishing you well♥

[Bubulous]

Thank you.  i used to be on here alot about a year ago and the depression got the best of me and I just got out of treatment about a month ago.  I spent ninety days there and I still wasn't really stable when I got out but I am alot better at coping with it.

Larry

[Anuket]

You are extremely talented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That is a beautiful poem.
Jennifer