Before I start, I would like to mention a few things. I have been diagnosed with ADHD combined(mild), Anxiety(NOS), and Bipolar disorder type 1(recent episode mixed;severe). I am a male and had the symptoms for these since I could remember and was only diagnose in my senior year of high school. My sophomore year of college is coming up and this is where I'm at. Also, for some reason, there is a shortage of psychiatrist in my area at college so I am unable to see one because there is only 4 and they don't accept my insurance so I have been off meds since January.
I know I do have these disorders but the meds don't seem to work as well as I would like. when I am off meds, my bipolar is worse with rapid cycling, being mix, and having psychosis. When I take meds tho, my cycles get longer and less severe tho I have light hallucinations, hypomanic symptoms, and depression but no suicide isolation. I mainly think this is because of my meds for ADHD which is Concerta, but I can't focus very well and fail or get ok grades in my classes.
So the things I experience now are mild psychosis(where I have several types of hallucinations and delusions; I know they aren't real but they scare me), Can't focus on anything or hyper focus on something that get skipped to the next focus, Can't form relationships/get depression after sex or don't want anything to do with sex or people after orgasm/have hypersexual types(sexual addition? and romance intensity addiction)/get anxiety with people either because I don't think they want to be with me or don't like me/i think strangers are judging me, I am paranoid in public when I am by myself/I hear people calling my name/say thing to me or about me, i am very impulsive/when eating i always eat til i am going to burst and eat one or two types a day and feel guilty afterwards/im gaining weight/i try to budget but i end up buying pointless things/ I occasionally steal things/ I use to/sometimes still do reckless things that can range for being wasteful like making lbs of slime to microwaving fireworks or play with fire in a field of dry tall grass(i did these and more reckless things like this in my teens year and when i am not manic or in a mixed episode, I know why not to do these things. also I tend not to do these now but still steal thing that either don't matter/people lost/just not from stores or people's homes or stuff like that), and lastly cuz this is all i can think of and it has been hard just to come up with this, is school, which I can't focus in classes, I fail test, can't study materials, etc. Also sleep wise, I have abnormal sleep pattern that is i go to bed at 3 or 4 then wake up at 6-7. During the daytime I am really tired and if i am extremely tired, I have to take naps later in the day or even mid day. in freshman year of college, I had later classes at like 10 and I would either be tired or bored because I wasn't interested in anything(at the time i was on meds and in a down cycle) so I would go back to sleep and miss my classes because I would sleep till 8pm. It's either I am too tired in class, classs makes me tired, or i can't focus in class.
thank you if you know any help for me/thank you for any tips/thank you for reading this jumbled text/ thank you if you know anything.