I've been admitted about five times, and twice were by my own choice [rather than someone else heavily suggesting, and me eventually giving in and agreeing]. When I got to a certain point, when no matter what I did it caused a negative emotion or effect to come up - even spending time with my son or trying to do a favorite hobby of mine - I considered self-admission. As much of a cop-out as it sounds, it was because I needed to remove myself from the situations that were causing the depression and anxiety to mount, which was practically everything. It wasn't a vacation or a time to relax for fun by any means. But I took my favorite books, my most comfortable clothes [if I could, I even bought a new, super comfy/soft pair of nightpants before going in], a teddy bear my son had given me, and just went. I enjoyed the quiet, the calm, and let myself just exist for a time.
At my ward you could choose which groups to go to, although some were heavily encouraged, and I attended even ones I didn't have to, unless I started stressing over how many were being held each day. If they pulled out a movie it was usually too much - the stimulus often set me on edge - so I'd just retreat to my room and either nap or read.
It was a bubble of peace that let me reset. I didn't have to worry about remembering my meds - they did it for me. I didn't have to worry about work - I happened to work at the same hospital as the ward, then [although this would be drastically different in your case, I understand]. My son was with his father which neither me nor my son were entirely happy about [we're divorced], but was okay in the short term.
When I got out my meds had been adjusted, I was feeling a bit better and a great deal more able to handle things. I went back into the world kind of ... recharged, for a lack of a better term. Stronger, more able to tackle/adjust/handle the things that had caused such an issue before I'd gone in.
I was approved for disability not too long after my last stint in the ward, which of itself removed a few massive stressors in my life, and I haven't had the need to be admitted again for over six years now, but just remembering it when I get bad [but not worse, to the point I'd seriously need it again] helps sometimes, knowing that its a possibility, and not being afraid of it as an unknown fear of its own.
Sorry for the long message, but hope this helps!
That's a good question. What was your follow up care when you were released? Do you see a psychiatrist? That should be stop number one. They want you to be successful so reach out as soon as possible for that help. best to you.
Please explain what help you were given in the ward. Regular antidepressants do not work for bipolar people. If you can't get an appointment, try to talk to your psychiatrist on the phone.
I think you need to talk to your psychiatrist about your symptoms. I mean especially the thoughts of harming yourself or others,. I realize its a terrible delimna with a possible new job on the way OTOH you need to take care of yourself. Good luck to you.