I have learned what keeps the depression away.
Before I went to Iraq I had a lot going on. I was teaching martial arts 4 times a week and hanging out with my main instructor in the evenings after class. I worked with kids in the junior guard program. It was a program putin place by the National Guard to help troubled young kids. We dressed them in military uniforms and taught them basic training things. I also tutored them at school. The point is I had a lot of friends and a lot of people who loved me. I am going to work on that again.
The three aspects that you have to work on are the mind, body, and spirit.
I will start with the mind because that is going to be the foundation for the rest of the recovery. I realized something yesterday. I woke up depressed and was overwhelmed with it. I lay down for 2-3 hours but couldn't sleep. I got up and came in here to work on the computer but I still didn't want to do anything. I then got a text message from an old friend that I cared for a lot. I noticed that immediately my mood improved. That planted a seed that I would end up watering all day with different things I observed. I did something impulsive that wasn't like me and it made me feel alive again. I have learned how to fight depression.
I met a therapist once who was diagnosed with clinical depression. He was an engineer at the time. One day he realized he was unhappy with his job. It was a risky decision but he felt immediate relief. He went back to school and studied to be a social worker. When I met him he had been a social worker for years and he loves telling the story of how he came out of clinical depression by taking a risk. Would that be considered an impulsive behavior, yes of course. Do you think he regrets it, not even a little bit.
I recommend that you do something impulsive. Not life changing but impulsive. It will make you feel alive. It can be something as simple as making faces in the mirror. You could walk outside and stare at a tree and imaging how many rings it has. The point is you have to break out of the routine of seeing this world as a crippling nightmare and start thinking like a kid. I promise this will work, you just have to be willing to trust a stranger and take control over the thing that used to become natural. Trust me I had one of the worst childhoods a person can have but I had a lot off fun when I was younger. You think because you are older, grey headed, and beat down that you can't act like a kid. That is the furthest thing from the truth than anything I have ever heard.
Once you have started coming out of the depression, you have to work on your body. Do as much or as little as you can physically. Go for a walk, start out with a 3 minute work out and pulled on that. Then you can start working on your diet. Start eating all three meals a day and progress to where you are eating healthier. I cannot express how important this is.
The spirit will be automatically be restored from working on the other aspects. It is an everyday challenge. It is a process and it takes work, but hey if you are suicidal or you are ready to give up, why not try something different.
Anyway, you get the idea. It starts today and it carries on for the rest of your life. you can never learn everything there is to know but you can learn everything you need to know: