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Avatar universal

Finding my relationship hard

I have been with my girlfriend for nearly two months now and am finding it extremely hard.

My girlfriend knows I am bipolar, and having studied psychology at college, understands about the illness.

I have tried to keep my illness out of the relationship as I would like at least one part of my life to be normal.

My problem is when I am on a high, (genereally the day before and the day that I see her) everything is fantastic, whereas when im low (the day after and there on from seeing her) I get extremely depressed for not seeing her and having limited contact as she dislikes phones.
I also find everything she says I over analise, causing me to get lower and lower.
I have very nearly ended it on two occasions having reached rock bottom (so low I cut my arm with scissors in anger at myself).

I am at a loss of what to do.

I want a new brain. One that works.
9 Responses
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Avatar universal
man i had the same  problem  not  seeing my women then go into deppreshion..then get mania  when she start on me abut the analising ****..she broke up with me 6 weeks ago..she begged me to go back with her..so i did...that was 2 weeks ago..she broke up today with me for saying she cant handel me anymore....so i dont see it comming from me..but shes got her own dealings in life that she cant handle and they blame us for it...

most bp,s say things that we dont mean to say..and its realy bad cuz its just a part of our illness..but to normals  they take it offensive to wear its discriminating them Soto speak..i cant put my finger on what im trying to tell you..but my friend you bp..and this is the way its going to be..i found this out just from 1 women..now how do i ever find another one if were that bad of peole..what find someone just like us  i dont think this would work..i hope you kinda understand this some..i dont think that shes trying to hurt you....its the way your presenting urself.. all bps have this troubles..if we could catch ourselves then mabey be better????????  theres so much involed to understand it all...1 day at atime is all
Helpful - 0
803299 tn?1243135053
Good advise Heidi,

You need to learn to like yourself and then the relationship will come, just wait and see.  If you like yourself the cutting should go away completely
Helpful - 0
889557 tn?1260150805
i totaly relate with you. i use to cut myself when in relationships to punsh mysefl bc i didnt have controll over what was happening (i have severe controll issues). and over annalizing is a problem for me too. i think the journal is a great idea. i use a journal to sort out my thoughts and get them out of my head so there not bouncing around and driving me crazy. write how you feel and over a couple of days keep looking at what you wrote and if you notice it all seemed silly then dissmiss the idea. if you still feel strongly its for a reason. being bipolar seems to shine through hardest in relationships bc they realy put your emotions to the test. mabey fined yourself for a while? get away and get to know you and have you time and mabey itll make things easier??

Heidi
Helpful - 0
900240 tn?1242669906
I second keeping a journal it helps your off load all the daily stressors that build up and niggle away at your that can make your feel irriatable.  The more you fight Bi pOlar the more it seems to fight back.  The sooner i accepted Bipolar as part of my life the easy managing it has got.  It's frustrating and i don't wish the condtion upon anybody but i see it as the cards we've been dealt with and you need to find the best hand to play with the tools you've got.

It's important to ask for help when you need it. I'm terrible at that but working on it.  

Helpful - 0
539549 tn?1315981662
Bipolar always seems to interfrear with relationships in one way or another....
-_- I've only had two serious relationships both guys didn't nesaraily like the bp
but Iu guess since they really cared they found a way to cope or work around it
I kinda know how that goes because despite how hard you try and hide it your mate will evetually find out that something is wrong
The best you can do is try and find a regualr schedule for you medication
and be sure and see your phcy doctor often
also be sure and keep a journal so you can keep track of your moods and weather or not they are unstable.





Helpful - 0
803299 tn?1243135053
Hi,

Cutting yourself intensionally, even out of anger is completely unexceptable.  The behavior pattern that you are describing about yourself sounds like classic symtoms of bp.  If you have not done so already, you need to see a pdoc immediately.  I would look for one who specializes in treating bp patients.  Best wishes
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
just to clarify
my arm was out of anger
not wanting to end it
was the only way to release the rage that built up inside
Helpful - 0
222267 tn?1253302210
Sounds like your meds are not working at all.  It's important to take care of yourself especially in a relationship.  There are now two people dealing with bipolar, not just one.  YOu should really go see your psychiatrist.  Especially if you have nearly "ended it".  The relationship has only been two months.  Take it really slow.  YOu should talk to your therapist about this ASAP
Helpful - 0
585414 tn?1288941302
Well having bipolar doesn't mean your brain doesn't work. But if things aren't working out, you might want to speak to your psychiatrist about medication options if the one that you are taking now isn't help you as much as it should. Of course having bipolar will impact on the relationship but its important to realize it will be there and think of coping strategies when things aren't going well and plan accomodations for that in advance. It also might be good to speak to your therapist together. I went with my girlfriend to my psychiatrist together once and that was years ago but it did help things. Treatment of course was not discussed but how we could cope with each other was and it did help. NAMI friend and family support groups are good as well and there are networks of mood disorders supports run by many organizations.
Helpful - 0
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