Have you experienced this?

[whisperloo]

I am concerned about a friend of mine. He is male, 40 yrs old, single. We have been friends for 2 years. I had to move away before we got to get real close in person but we continued our friendship via Internet, phone, mail and so on. It has been good but I'm noticing things about him that concern me. For instance, his memory, he repeats the same stories and a couple of times I had sent him something and he then told me about it as if someone else sent it to him and I had to tell him, hey, that was from me, remember? Also, he forgets important thing I have confided in him. A couple of other things I seeing is that he gets really hyper sometimes and he talks real loud or will sing over my voice when we are speaking. He can't seem to be quiet or sit still. I get the urge to tie him up down or force him to go to sleep! That is how hyper he can get. He sleeps strange hours, obsessively cleans and measures things. Then he will just disappear from me, he will not return phone calls, ignores messages and he does this for sometimes a month at a time and then resurfaces to start where we left off. During those times I cannot get him to answer me at all and I have asked him why and he comes up with excuses such as, he is working on his life but has no details to give. A couple of times he told me "people" were coming to visit him but couldn't tell me who they were and wouldn't you know it, they never showed up. I know this because he would be with me at the times that these "old friends or people" were coming by. His moods seem to change, like when he is in hyper happy guy to switch to distant, cold, mean guy mode. I have never experienced him in a depressive state though. It is either hyper or irritable/distant. I have noticed that at certain times when he disappears out of my life he will talk to a couple of his guy friends but then he will disappear from them and re-enter with me. His friends are complaining to me saying that he is a jerk, selfish, liar etc...these friends are pretty mean to him if you ask me because they make fun of his odd behaviors rather than trying to figure them out and help him. The last thing I want to mention is that I am seriously troubled because he also imagines things for instance, paranoia. He does not trust me lately. He says he will not trust anyone and he imagines that I am doing things I am not doing. This bothers me so much because how can I get through to him if he is imagining that I am doing terrible things to him?

I was not sure where to put this post so I chose Bipolar. I do not know what is wrong with my friend and I do not know if I will ever hear from him again because of his paranoid thoughts and beliefs.

Has anyone experienced this or been through it personally? What should I do, how do I cope and help? What is wrong him? :(

The more advice the better. Thanks.

[amylove21]

I agree. Maybe suggesting he go see a doctor, but do it gental too. He could leave. He does sound like there's something wrong. It could be anything really. Hopefully he will see that his behavoir is not normal and go willingly without causing a lot of problames. It sounds like you really care about him and are very concerned. I hope that things work out for both of you.

[starb10]

sorry your friend is not well, it does sound like he is in need of help. it is hard to say what problem there is - there are so many mental health disorders I.E. - parkinsons disease, OCD, schitzophrenia, dementia etc.

The truth is always the best because your friend would be upset if you lied. I would encourage him to go see a doctor by illustrating the things you have observed.

Hoping the best for you and him

god bless

[looloo141]

Hi there, I think you are right to be concerned, your friend is exhibiting strange behaviours and sounds like he needs some help. It's impossible to say on here whether its bipolar but there is definitely something not right there, bless him.
Has he ever expressed that he is unwell?
I think the next step is to make small suggestions about him seeing a doctor, be very gentle and explain that you know he is hurting in there and that you are a friend, and friends love, care and help eachother, his other "friends" are behaving appaulingly in my opinion but not everybody understands mental health problems and prefer to make light of it.
Like charlieaf said you have to tread carefully as pushing too hard will push him away, people with mental health problems don't always believe there is something wrong, they may have lost touch with reality and see their behaviour as normal.
Obviously this is going to be tricky as you don't have direct contact with your friend so you can't see exactly what is going on, but in another way not being too close might work better, he won't feel as pressured and you can talk on the phone or send an email that he can read and may be more inclined to listen to.
He seems to be quite alone in all of this, thank heavens he has you!
I hope you can find a way to nudge him towards seeing a doctor, explain to him that he could feel so much better.
I have you both in my thoughts.
Good Luck

[charlieaf]

I'm no expert , my wife was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and she is in denial. She may have other undiagnosed problem but she will not accept that she has BP. And alot of the symptoms that youare describing are so familar with the things I went through with my wife. Right now she moved out of the house cause she says I'm the cause of all her grief these past years , has filed for divorce and tells all our friends how verbaly abusive I am to her , and how I made her life hell. Which I could not believe her and my family believed. Before her diagnosis I did not know what I was dealing with, not that I'm dealing any better with it , but information gathering on your part is the key. Here is a good start, there are many knowledgable people here who are very willing to help , one thing I learned is do not push the issue that they are ill , cause if he is in a manic state , at least in my case it just pushes that person farther away from you. good luck