Having problems controling.

[Padfoot2011]

I am 21 years old, I was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar at about 14. Once I was diagnosed and I knew I wasn't just crazy I seemed to have a handle on things, I got married at 18 years old and we started ttc a few months later. I got pregnant the first month and my bipolar went off the deep in. I couldn't control my actions, my words, nothing... I ended up having a miscarriage. I seemed to level out and get back on track. It had put a huge damper on my marriage and it was hard to deal with because I couldn't center myself because at the time It was like an out of body experience. So me and my husband thought it would be appropriate for me to come home to try and get myself level headed again because he couldnt help because his job was so demanding (military) I think saw my old doctor and they put me on medication.(welbutren) the medication seemed to make me even more crazy to the point of me starting to hear voices and after about a month I got off moved back home to my husband ( 3 hours away- stayed so long because my mother had kemo and needed help) I was very good at telling the signs of my manic etc coming and my husband went to a counseler to learn the signs and what to do to help. We were vet successful. I think got pregnant again and was terrified of having the same out come as last time. But lucky my bipolar did not change and I was able to control it my whole pregnancy. Four days after my son was born (October2010) my husband passed. With grief and with stress I seemed to slowly loose grip of controlling it from going into full on manics ( I have more manics than anything) I have been doing okay and not going to much out of control. I have never once thought I would hurt my child or do.something reckless but its taking a toll on me and my body. I just dropped out of a manic and was staying up 86 hours at a time and if you add in all the sleep I got it was 3 hours. My body started to feel week and I thought I was going to pass out yet nothing could get me to sleep not even my sleeping medication I take if I am having issues.

I need help! From anyone. I need suggestions. I am the only parent my son has!  I would never do anything I shouldn't as a parent but I am terrified that my husbands family will try and take my son and tell the judge I am un fit because of my episodes. I am pleading for any guidance what so ever.

[lindahand]

I was on a mood stabilizer and Wellbutrin seriously screwed me up. It is known to cause manias. Any antidepressant is. One of the mood stabilizers like lamotrigine, lithium, of valproate you may find helpful. Ziprexa is also a good one for many people but does cause a lot of weight gain but the weight gain does level off once you are on the drug for a while and it is very expensive but you can get assistance through the company to pay for it if needed.

If you can you need to go and see a psychiatrist so they can help you with medications. And considering your last psychiatrist put you on an antidepressant while having manias I would seriously consider going to see someone else. Truly. Anyone who would do that doesn't deserve their license in my opinion.

I now take lamotrigine and Geodone (Zeldox here in Canada). The Geodone causes some anxiety but makes the crazy go away much better than the lamotrigine alone.

[looloo141]

Hello!! I am so glad that you have posted here, we can help you!!

First of all big hugs for everything you have been through at such a tender age! I am 10 years older than you and can't imagine the grief of losing a Husband so young, and becoming a mother at the same time.

Right. listen carefully to this, you need to get an appointment with your Psychiatrist immediately, not because I think your a danger or anything but simply because your medication is just so, so so wrong!!

Wellbutrin is an Anti Depressant ( and a smoking cessation aid!) as you say, you are having mostly manic episodes, therefore you do not need an Anti Depressant! AntiDepressants are contraindicated to Bipolar as they cause Mania, rapid cycling and mixed episodes!
The only way this medication would be kind of okay would be if it was combined with a mood stabiliser ( even though my pyschiatrist still won't give me an Anti Depressant even though I am on mood stabilisers!)
It is no wonder you feel you can't control things honey! This is not your fault it is the Wellbutrin!
All you need is a mood stabiliser, such as Lithium, Sodium Valproate etc, and maybe an anti pyschotic, although there are some meds out there that do a bit of both, i.e Zyprexa.
Once you get on this kind of medication you will soon see that it can be controlled and you certainly can be a fit mother!
You deserve all the help in the world, please, please, please go see your doctor, this can be sorted out so easily!!
Good Luck and Hugs
Please keep us posted!