Help, my wife is loosing it

[help527]

My wife has frequent outbursts of anger sparked by little insignificant events.  She will go from loving me and our 7 month old son, to telling me she will kill herself and hates her life.  How do I get her to a psychiatrist?  Is this something that can be cured by medicine and I need to hang in there for better or for worse?  She threatened to do harm to me last evening...I want to help her, but I cannot live like this and don't want my son in this kind of envirnment.  I love her, however, these drastic ups and downs with screaming at the top of her lungs is wearing thin.  Any suggestions?

[LeftCoastChick]

I agree, the next time she threatens harm on her or you take her to the ER, if she refuses  I would suggest to call the police. She obviously needs help.I worked in 911 dispatch in my local city, we used to get quite a few calls, but it gave me comfort knowing that the person would get immediate help, where I am, if one is hospitalized, which i was for suicidal ideations, got a pdoc to follow through with me after release from hospital.
Mood swings, especially major ones like that are an indication of a mood disorder, unfortunately we can't diagnose what is going on. Threatening self harm at any time should be taken seriously.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers and hope she gets help.

[Amyjo101]

You should convince her to go to the emergency room the next time she threatens to harm herself, that or when she is not in a 'Mood' talk to her about your concerns for her well being when she is in one of her states she may harm herself or your child. Definitely sounds like it is something she needs to seek help for and you may have to give her an ultimatum. Tell her she has to get help or for the safety of your child your going to have leave.

This sounds horrible but it may take this to "shock" her into getting the help she needs. Definitely don't drop this on her an leave her alone though because if she is seriously unstable she could really injure herself or your child.

Just my insight, it is hard when a person isn't willing to seek help or doesn't realize that they need help.

[bernie40]

I wish you all the best and hope that a solution can be reached quickly for all of you.  You are obviously a very caring and supportive husband which is going to be essential in helping her to get better.

Take care.

[help527]

It may be post partum, however, even before the birth of our son, she would still have these outbursts and extreme mood changes.  Thank you for your kind words bulldozer.

[bernie40]

It sounds as if she is scared of being diagnosed as mentally ill.  It can be difficult to accept and I know I battled against it for many years.  It would be a more gentle approach for her to see her Doctor first in this case.

Your son is only 7 months old and makes me wonder whether she is experiencing post partum depression, something which so many women get and which can present itself at any time following the birth of a child.

I really hope she will listen to you and seek help.

[help527]

She is not on any medication and has not seen a doctor.  She does not want to see a psychiatrist, yet she admits in her own words, "I'm going crazy".  She is so unstable and irrational when she gets like this.  It hurts me to see her like this and hear her say she hates me and wishes she was dead.  I just want to do the right thing for her, medication, etc.  I just don't want to get a divorce and take my son.  I think that would really push her to her limit.  Thank you for the suggestions.

[bernie40]

The first question is, is she on any medication?

Secondly, has she been given a diagnosis?

Thirdly, is your wife willing to see a psychiatrist or is she refusing to see one?

You are right that you cannot let things continue as they are now.  I would definitely advise seeing her Doctor and then depending on the outcome of that - hopefully the Doctor will then suggest referral to a psychiatrist.

During those moments when she is loving and "stable" is when you need to discuss the very urgent need for her to seek help.  Trying to do this when she is angry and upset will result in her stubborn refusal as she is probably not thinking straight at those times.