How to handle idiots?

Question

Hi everyone,

I have BP1, really well medicated - as in my medication really works and I've been stable for at least 6 months now.  Lately I just struggle:  it feels as if I am surrounded by idiots! people that take out their frustration and stress on me!  Even my husband of 16 years is guilty of that!  I just stand back and try not to cry or say a word!  but I can feel inside me that I have lots to say and if I do say what I have inside me, then I may possibly loose my job and my marriage would be even more in trouble.

I don't think it is something that I can take more meds for!  I need coping skills!

weaver71 · Accepted Answer

I am also bp1 and quit opiates about 2 1/2 years ago. I've never been stable on meds, but I did go through what you are describing, when I quit drugs. A few things helped me feel a part of my family and life again. Date night, that is a big one, I found I had to reconnect with my wife, with time, we both felt like we were falling in love all over and in a new way. We are not religious, but we call Sunday, "Family Day." We spend that day together, talking and sharing, hiking and sledding, doesn't matter, but we do it together. Those times give me un-interrupted grown up time, kid time, and I always take alone time every week too. Those scheduled times together give me a chance to talk about what I feel regularly, I can plan on it.

Now, being a recovering addict and bp1, my family has every right to take out their frustrations and anger on me, I caused a lot of it. 6 months was not long enough for old habits to die down. My family had to learn to see me different and I had to learn to see me and them different. There were some close calls, where I just about jumped a plane, but I stayed and didn't ruin the progress I have made, barely. I am glad I did, now, I have owned up to my part, my family have come to terms with their part and my condition and past, and now we are a team working for our future again. It took time, work, and humility on my part to make myself feel like I am not surrounded by idiots. I didn't change the people, I changed me and helped others change themselves, by example. I figure, my wife has dealt with my bipolar for 15 years, my addiction for about 8, and I only have 2 1/2 years of opiates, about 6 months stable, so I still have some time to go, to ever match what my family has put up with.

Not sure any of this applies to you, but I just wanted to share a story of hope and let you know i truly relate to how you feel.

Smiley2000 · Answer

Thanks! I really appreciate your comments. I was hypermanic for atleast 6 years? undiagnosed!  now that I'm stable, I am not that chatty and friendly, spontaneous person I used to be.  Just %10 of the time.  My partner does not cope very well with the new me.  Don't have any family or relatives in Oz. Just small number of friends here that know I have BP issues.  IT is a bit hard.

But I am going to try and work on my marriage again.  Some days are better than others.  And I won't let the idiots mess up my day.

Talk to you again soon.  All the best,

thatquietgirl · Answer

The best coping skill I can suggest right now is to talk to them and let them know how certain actions and words from them make you feel.  If you can't do this by yourself, schedule a therapy session so your therapist can help you explain to them that this is potentially triggering for you and that it isn't right to treat you like this.

Unfortunately, you've fallen into unhealthy relationship habits over the years, and now that you're stable, you're realizing it.  Perfectly normal.  I even had to go through this.  Hopefully your circumstances are such that simply talking through can help.

How to handle idiots?

Trance like State caused by Silent BPD, Bipolar 2 and OLD

Trance like State caused by Silent BPD, Bipolar 2 and OLD

Bipolar

Bipolar

Trance like State caused by Silent BPD, Bipolar 2 and OLD

Trance like State caused by Silent BPD, Bipolar 2 and OLD

Bipolar

Bipolar

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