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Bipolar Disorder Community
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1554497 tn?1296538211

I am bipolar and my husband and I are considering divorce

We have four children, 16, 11, 8, and 6. I am bipolar and my husband continually says I am delusional, crazy, everything in the book in front of the kids. They all cry and tell me they don't want us to get a divorce, but my husband says he can't take my behavior. I am seeing a psychiatrist, a counselor, and am attending a partial hospitalization program at a nearby mental hospital. I am trying my hardest to make better choices in my life and towards my husband. He thinks the children would be better off without me, but it will kill them to never see me, and their lives would never be the same. He says he doesn't love me like he used to, but with counseling, really trying, etc., I know we can do it. Wouldn't this be better for the kids?
5 Responses
Avatar universal
Divorce can be psychologically hard on any child so maybe with counseling and such you can make it through this.
952564 tn?1268368647
You will be able to do it but only if your husband wants to. Make sure you get information from your psychiatrist stating you are a fit mother, etc. It sounds more to me like you have a husband who doesn't want to be married to someone with an illness. What a horrible and abusive thing to say! Yet here are your kids not wanting to be taken away! Obviously you are not a bad mother by that alone. If your kids love you then they are saying they want to be with you, then you're a good mother. Kids with bad mothers who hurt them don't want to be with them.

I'm sorry to say but there are people in this world who only want "normal" and healthy spouses. THey don't want to be support people or care givers. They want to be taken care of and not have anything in their life that is upsetting. Sorry, but life is upsetting sometimes. Sometimes people get sick. You are in treatment doing your best to fight this and it isn't an easy thing. You are doing everything you can. Doctors are not miracle workers. We fight to be healthy, and that's all we can do, and pray we are well.

I can tell you I lost my mother to illness for real, she died, and I was 13. And it was a horrible, horrible thing that I have never recovered from that, not fully. I am still in grief, and it's 18 years later. To have the mother you love torn away from you as a child is horrible thing. Even if he doesn't love you, that's fine, but that's between you two only. He shouldn't use your children like a poker chip. It's infuriating. I am a mother and I'm a good mother. Yes, I'm scatter brained and I get irritated, but I'm a good mother. I don't hurt my kids and I love my kids and I work hard for my kids every day, and I fight this illness for my kids because I love them and I want them to have a mother. I have bipolar. I'm not a monster. And neither are you.
574118 tn?1305135284
I think your husband is cruel. There is nothing saying i love you or not, in my view once you have children you MUST forget about your views about marriage, at least in our culture and in many cultures. In the animal world once they have cubs all their effort is concentrated to feed them or play with them. As to being crazy everybody is .

In France when the police discovers a crime the 1st word they say "cherchez la femme" i.e. fetch the woman, so perhaps your dear husband got frustrated and this occurred to many partners and he hears nice words from other women. In fact some women only prefer married men for some "reason"

But sure getting a divorce is not pleasant at all for the kids. You will ruin their lives especially if you are really bipolar and i started to doubt this for sometime now because the meds play in our brain easily bringing all kind of psychosis, then there is a great possibility that one of your children will have the disease and in this case he needs his parents more than ever. Of course your hub will not have time for them AT ALL, the 1st thing he will do is to get to get a new company or do you think he will live on your memory, of course not. So what you think of is a joke considering the great burden of upbringing almost half a dozen of children. You will REGRET it, and he will more than you.
1542305 tn?1293169772
good day sis , u know my mum is bipolar and my dad is normal .Almost everyday we have frustrations and arguments .But at the end of the day we turn out fine usually .I salute my dad for not divorcing my mum .may be thats why im not depressed usually becuz even though we go  thriugh lots of challenges but i have learnt to live like this .u r a caring women ,ur kids luv u but spouses arent like blood relations u knw ,they are not easily ready to compromise just 4 loves sake .i totally agree with the idea that u shud ask a psychiatrist whether u r fit mum or not .ur husband shud be taken to psychiatrist as well to understand ur problem be4 letting u go .and pray to god 4 guidance .GOOD LUCK

1278474 tn?1271134499
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