Aa
I have no friends
Every time I think I've made a new friend, they end up rejecting me in a way that makes me think they don't want to be around me at all and were only doing me a favour by being polite and talking to me.
My old friends can only bear to meet with me once a month or less, and I barely hear from any of them in the time in between. The times we do meet, its because I've been asking and asking and asking for them to hang out.
I used to be quite good looking a while ago, but because of my meds I've put on almost forty pounds and now I look like a furless gorilla. Does this have something to do with why people can't stand to be around me?
Or is it because I get obsessive about ridiculous things that nobody could care about, like art and film and literature that isn't popular and therefore 'boring' to other people?
I have grown used to being by myself - I read, watch TV and movies, listen to music, blog about my interests, try and work out so I can lose weight and become attractive again - but what I really need right now is company. I'm still breaking into my new medication, and so I still have minor hypomanic and depressive episodes, and the lack of someone to talk to (except my therapist once a week and my psychiatrist every two weeks) is only aggravating these symptoms, especially the depressive ones.
Can someone please tell me how to make friends? What am I doing wrong?
My old friends can only bear to meet with me once a month or less, and I barely hear from any of them in the time in between. The times we do meet, its because I've been asking and asking and asking for them to hang out.
I used to be quite good looking a while ago, but because of my meds I've put on almost forty pounds and now I look like a furless gorilla. Does this have something to do with why people can't stand to be around me?
Or is it because I get obsessive about ridiculous things that nobody could care about, like art and film and literature that isn't popular and therefore 'boring' to other people?
I have grown used to being by myself - I read, watch TV and movies, listen to music, blog about my interests, try and work out so I can lose weight and become attractive again - but what I really need right now is company. I'm still breaking into my new medication, and so I still have minor hypomanic and depressive episodes, and the lack of someone to talk to (except my therapist once a week and my psychiatrist every two weeks) is only aggravating these symptoms, especially the depressive ones.
Can someone please tell me how to make friends? What am I doing wrong?
I'll be very honest with you, it is hard for me being friends with someone who is Bipolar. I stay pretty much on an even keel and I like knowing what is coming at me. With two friends of mine (ex-friends now) I never knew what was coming and their moods and reactions to situations could change in a second.
These two women don't admit they are bipolar - it's always everyone else, yet they both complain about not having friends and problems with family relationships.
Stick with your medications and therapy. Talk to your friends about bipolar disorder - share your feelings with them and help them to understand what you are up against. We can't help if we don't know or understand.
Both of these women have good qualities - but being around them is too much work and too much drama. I wish they had your courage.
These two women don't admit they are bipolar - it's always everyone else, yet they both complain about not having friends and problems with family relationships.
Stick with your medications and therapy. Talk to your friends about bipolar disorder - share your feelings with them and help them to understand what you are up against. We can't help if we don't know or understand.
Both of these women have good qualities - but being around them is too much work and too much drama. I wish they had your courage.
I think maybe you should talk to them and ask them why. To be honest if they are only willing to see you once a month it doesnt really sound like a true friendship. I dont know for sure but you should try to find out why. It doesnt mean its you. Sometimes its hard to meet decent people who will stay your friend.
I dont have any friends either so i can relate to what you are saying. So I get it. I think when people do stuff like this it does effect us because then we think it must be something wrong wiht us. I know I tend to do that too at times.
Anyway I am hoping that you get this resolved and that maybe youll make new friends true friends. I really dont have any advise since I am going through the same thing in a way. So I dont really know. Just hope things go ok.
I dont have any friends either so i can relate to what you are saying. So I get it. I think when people do stuff like this it does effect us because then we think it must be something wrong wiht us. I know I tend to do that too at times.
Anyway I am hoping that you get this resolved and that maybe youll make new friends true friends. I really dont have any advise since I am going through the same thing in a way. So I dont really know. Just hope things go ok.
i agree w/Csandnugget. You don`t need fake friends in your life. They make you feel bad. If someone is your friend, he should accept you as you are.
But I also think being alone is hard. And not trying, as Csandnugget said: "walk away" means you are afraid of being hurt, and with that defensive mechanist... well, i guess you could lose a really good chance to meet someone good. But if person, you met, seems hypocrite,ect, it is OK not to be around. After all, you have a right to chose who do you wanna spend your time with...
When i think about it, my fake friends actually accepted me, but when I talk about my other side of life, they shut up. Their emotions are too strong, but they know what i want and that is to be accepted so they put their emotions away. And we are clear. they know that we just hang out. And nothing else.
But I also think being alone is hard. And not trying, as Csandnugget said: "walk away" means you are afraid of being hurt, and with that defensive mechanist... well, i guess you could lose a really good chance to meet someone good. But if person, you met, seems hypocrite,ect, it is OK not to be around. After all, you have a right to chose who do you wanna spend your time with...
When i think about it, my fake friends actually accepted me, but when I talk about my other side of life, they shut up. Their emotions are too strong, but they know what i want and that is to be accepted so they put their emotions away. And we are clear. they know that we just hang out. And nothing else.
Hey Tigercity,
I think people are afraid of inconsistency.
I have been there myself, many times. I always give a person a chance. Until about 3 months ago when I was rejected yet again.
I Decided never to let anyone else in again.
I helped this girl through the worst time of her life and she dumped me like a pile of bricks as soon as everything in her life was better.
I only have 1 true friend, she has also Bipolar, she's a wonderful person and we laugh at jokes only we find funny. The others are all users and aquaintances that only want to pry.
Follow your instincts about other people and walk away if you have any doubt
I think people are afraid of inconsistency.
I have been there myself, many times. I always give a person a chance. Until about 3 months ago when I was rejected yet again.
I Decided never to let anyone else in again.
I helped this girl through the worst time of her life and she dumped me like a pile of bricks as soon as everything in her life was better.
I only have 1 true friend, she has also Bipolar, she's a wonderful person and we laugh at jokes only we find funny. The others are all users and aquaintances that only want to pry.
Follow your instincts about other people and walk away if you have any doubt
I understand what you are saying. My situation is similar. But I know the reason. People can only accept one part of me. The other is self-destructive and twisted. Our styles of life are different and they cannot accept that. So I don`t really think they are my friends. That`s just a mask.
And my old friends are now in different stage of life then I am. They love me and cannot watch my depressed side.
I realized that`s all fake, and in the meantime, I met one guy. I was honest from the beginning and he accepted me completely. he is the only person who can. he is always here for me. Maybe you should go out more, meet different kind of people. Maybe you find someone.
And if you are ready to work on friendship, talking honestly could help, but prepare yourself on what you might hear.
Friends are important, not just for fun, then as a support. And if they are not like that, they are not really your friends. ppl are different, and it`s really hard to find someone reliable with similar interests, life style and way of thinking. My friend has never had a real friend until he met me and he is 27.
When time comes, you`ll find someone. If I(who drinks, does drugs, has huge problems, and twisted way of seeing this world) could, trust me, so can you.
Everything will be OK. I do understand how hard it is to feel isolated, that still happens to me when my friend is not there, when I`m in school or something, but if you wait, and socialize, I bet you`ll met someone... Best wishes...
And my old friends are now in different stage of life then I am. They love me and cannot watch my depressed side.
I realized that`s all fake, and in the meantime, I met one guy. I was honest from the beginning and he accepted me completely. he is the only person who can. he is always here for me. Maybe you should go out more, meet different kind of people. Maybe you find someone.
And if you are ready to work on friendship, talking honestly could help, but prepare yourself on what you might hear.
Friends are important, not just for fun, then as a support. And if they are not like that, they are not really your friends. ppl are different, and it`s really hard to find someone reliable with similar interests, life style and way of thinking. My friend has never had a real friend until he met me and he is 27.
When time comes, you`ll find someone. If I(who drinks, does drugs, has huge problems, and twisted way of seeing this world) could, trust me, so can you.
Everything will be OK. I do understand how hard it is to feel isolated, that still happens to me when my friend is not there, when I`m in school or something, but if you wait, and socialize, I bet you`ll met someone... Best wishes...
Suggest you ask your 'friends' about your issues, why not?As the saying goes, 'those that matter don't mind' & those that mind don't matter'. Perhaps your self confidence has taken a battering & you feel that everything's your fault. Do you show interest in what your 'friends' are interested in, or are you upset because they don't share yours?If you feel you've not much in common maybe joining clubs/societies that have your interests on their agenda will enable you to make friends you can get along with?Wish you luck, George
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