Issues Understanding People's Reactions?

[ILADVOCATE]

Have people here experienced issues overstating events that happenned in their life with other people and their reactions? I know that was a big problem for me in the past and less so now but it can happen. An example would be a person not returning phone calls or emails and assuming they were angry at you when in reality they were busy? Or a person you knew acting gruff or unpleasent to you and thinking that you had done something wrong when they had actually had a bad day? Or being treated in an unpleasent manner in a store and thinking the people were personally angry at you when in reality they were just like to everyone? I could list more specific events but didn't want to detail interactions with people I know.

[monkeyc]

Yes, I have experience this - it seems that distance does something as its mainly past events.

The example of phone calls is paranoia though as is the bad day example - both examples of paranoid thinking but they are elements of behaviour.

If you think about yourself and other BP people you know we are superb at making mountains out of molehills in some phases - for me hypomania and mild depressive cycles are where it happens - I know many bipolars who can make little things into almost obsessions - and fixation is a common symptom.

Much of paranoid thinking has a basis in the mood state, we often get it when depressed and already feeling worthless and thus everything that confirms that we are adds to the feeling.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Yeah I had this happen a lot, even on medication.  I can't tell if it happened more or less after medication, it sounds like paranoia would play a key role in the frequency of this however.  I already knew you couldn't know what people are thinking or why they are acting the way they are but it took dialetical behavioral therapy before I started practicing this.  DBT used to be for borderline personality disorder, however they found it helps people even without mental illness and borrows ideas from Eastern philosophies and religions according to the handout.  I guess I needed my thoughts validated by something significant before I started taking them seriously since my brain also lies to me half the time or I have thoughts pop into my head like people are going to kill me or turn against me even if they're my best friend and I have no reason to think this.  I also end up doing this with events that happened, not related to people, frequently tending to think everything is being specifically designed to anger me because some external force is controlling my life to torment me and also tend to get really defensive even towards someone joking about my work being less than adequate for example.

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes I would agree with that. When I was looking at some documentation my psychiatrist wrote (in my application for a home attendant not anything confidential, he was noting I was applying as regards my physical disability not anything psychiatric) that although the psychosis I have is in "relative remmission" that my "moods are labile" so like with anything else I need a mood stabilizer with the antipsychotic I take and I have built up a tolerance to the Clonidine although that anti convulsant for my physical disability is showing promise as regards mood stabilization as they are noting. So when there are moodswings it may over ride the effectiveness of any antipsychotic.
    However, as things have improved I find one thing to be worthwhile which is to think back and see what may have occured and also to think of the consequences of what I might do if I send off an angry email. I had a minor disagreement with a friend a few months ago. They said they were going on vacation overseas. I assumed that they were making up this story to avoid me (this has actually happenned in the past to me). The truth is they were on vacation and as soon as they returned we settled the minor disagreement and it was fine. I just had to hold back judgment. However the family member with cyclothymia (who hasn't started medication yet) can often look for emotional reactions when they are not there and take a defensive attitude. For example I did not learn my grandfather died until it happenned whereas they knew he had a form of fatal cancer months before. The family member said "I didn't think you would want to know". Of course I did for myself to obtain emotional closure and for the sake of my grandfather as I would have visited which I was discouraged from doing. Also they said about other people "I'm sure they wouldn't want to hear that" about other family members that were minor concerns and when I told them the facts it actually settled things rather than "reassuring" them as I've encouraged this family member not to do. Then again they aren't on treatment yet so I dont know how they would be with treatment. My psychopharmocologist also functions as a talk therapist so he can monitor both at once which is helpful.

[monkeyc]

We all seem to have the issued with anger and irritability - not many people seem to realise that irritability and anger are manifestations of bipolar depression either.

My wife has learned to 'handle me' with regards to moods, sometimes she just has to ride it out, mornings are the worst time for the anger, but we all know that.

The problem with paranoia is its present in most of us in both phases, some worse than others and its not helped by unwanted thoughts - those I hate because you have no control, i get them with suicidal thoughts just popping into my head, sure you can dismiss but they are eery and unpleasant at the best of times.

I ponder how much we know we lose sometimes, Ive caught myself with memory lapses and I dumped an entire week in hospital, I worry Iose more memory than I think.

[wj74]

Short answer- yes. :)

[Xila31]

I have also experienced this a lot. And with some repetative thinking it doesn't take long to turn one small incident into a whole "conspiracy." I have the "everybody hates me," issue. It comes down to if someone is upset with me I think they hate me and I never want to speak to them again. I have had this problem for a long time. Also it comes down to automatically thinking people will hate me before they even know me. When I was younger and had no idea about bipolar, I used to say I was "cursed."

A few years ago there was a study done on bipolar teens and on bipolar teens. Both groups were shown pictures of faces and they had to identify the mood. Happy, sad, angry, and neutral. And a high percentage of bipolar teens all marked all of the neutral faces as angry, but the non-bipolar teens did not do that. So, I think it has something to do with our brain chemestry and nerve signaling. When one person is just a little rude to us, it makes us explode emotionally because, as you say, we don't automatically put it down to a bad day on the other perons's side.