Just diagnosed with Bi-Polar

[ACortex]

All the signs have always pointed to yes, but now with so many failed relationships because I wasn't "normal" enough.  . . I'm just wondering if I should pursue a life of pure independency.

I am even debating if I should bother to have children. If they have to suffer the way I have my entire life. . .why would I want to even make someone go through this? Should I just give up men and women all together? I doubt anyone will ever really be able to love this part of me. And face it, your brain is you. So when your wires are all plugged in the wrong places, how can someone truly ever know you.

I don't know how to think about my life anymore. It's full of nothing but big questions. I mean, is anyone ever really happy? Or does everyone just fake it to get by? The friends in the coffee shop laughing, or the couples smiling in there personal photo shoots. The parties on facebook pictures, the travelers and new borns.

Is anything real? Is anyone being honest? Or are we all just made to suffer this horrible depression that never goes away.

I honestly feel like everyone is perfect, and I just. . don't work anywhere.

What am I supposed to do now?

[Bubulous]

But be careful with the mania.  If you don't learn how to control it the manic depression that follows is dangerous...At least it is for me.

[Carcarlita]

It's also good to remember the advantages bipolar has. alot of bipolar people are extremely intelligent and in manic or hypo manic times people can feel really creative and productive. And don't forget just because your feelings sometimes are unusual, your still aloud to feel emotion. Don't let your treatments turn you into a zombie. Normal people have good and bad days too. It's just about controlling them and not letting them control you. Life needs to be balanced, once you do that life has meaning and you can discover your true self. It's just like doing things in moderation. When you feel good, enjoy it, but don't let it get out of hand, and vise versa. Therapy and meds help you do that. Make sure you are honest with your doctors as well as yourself. Write stuff down. It will help you remember how you feel at certain times so you can discuss it with your treatment team. It's a lifetime balancing act but it gets easier the more you learn. Just like diabetes. You can do it though! And I have a child and everything is going very well so far. As she gets older I will be better able to recognize signs and get her treated earlier on than someone who doesn't have bipolar. Just like my me, my parents were both psychotherapists, so I begAn treatment early on. And I live a very happy life. The prognosis is good.

[Bubulous]

A life of fear is, of course, not worth living so you have to get rid of that.  There are kids born everyday that are going to grow up bipolar but here is the thing.....
With you being bipolar yourself there is a good chance that your children may turn out to be that way but that is not necessarily a bad thing.  There are children born everyday that are going to grow up bipolar.  In your case if you learn everything you can about managing yours with medicine, therapy, and cognitive training, you will be able to notice the signs in your child (children) and you will be in a unique situation to be able to support them and get them the treatment they need.  Please don't take this diagnosis too seriously. I am happy and there is nothing saying that you can't be.  It just takes work and the right attitude.   Don't be afraid to live a happy life and don't be afraid to enjoy the things that those "happy" people you talk about have.  

People think that this diagnosis means they are crazy and doomed to live the rest of their life struggling but let me tell you a secret.

This is your life.  You can either live it to its full potential or spend the rest of your life in fear.  We have all had to struggle with the diagnosis but being bipolar is only a part of you.  Your personality is the biggest part of it.  Come back here and let us know what you learn about yourself and if you need support as you go through this journey of self discovery you can come back here and get advise on how to cope.  We are here for you friend,

Larry

[smacdav]

Definitely don't give up! As thatquietgirl pointed out, it may take a while to get the medications just right, but it's worth it.

As for children, cross that road when you come to it. My grandmother was bipolar, but neither of her daughters and none of their children are. My mother-in-law also happens to be bipolar, but my wife is not. There is no guarantee that the children of a bipolar person will be bipolar. Yes, the probability is higher for children of bipolar parents, but it is still not a guarantee.

Hang in there and know you are not alone.

[thatquietgirl]

A book I would suggest: An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redford Jamison.  She was a psychiatrist who was diagnosed with bipolar type one.  It was a great help in the early stages of my diagnosis.  It made me realize I wasn't alone.

[thatquietgirl]

Your brain does not equal you.  You equal you.  If your "wires are all plugged in the wrong places," it's a physiological problem, but you are different from it.  You can be treated so the true you can shine through.  

Keep on with therapy and meds.  Since you say you were diagnosed, I'm sure you have some follow-up appointments.  One is rare to work without the other, especially in these early stages.  You may one day be able to get off meds, but many people need to stay on them.  They don't always work again when you get off then restart months or years later.  Keep in mind it may take a few years to find the right ones.

You can overcome this and find happiness and feel normal.  You just need help, and there is nothing wrong with that.  This is a physical illness that presents itself emotionally.

If you ever need to talk..