Just wanting your comments

[imalive79]

I have a fear of mornings.  I can get up with my kids to get them ready for school.  But I will lay back in bed until 3:00 in the afternoon.  I don't even sleep the majority of the time.  I just lay there hiding from the world.  I have just been diagnoised with bipolar type I for the last year.  I went misdiagnoised for over 10 years.  It just keeps getting worse.  I tried staying on a schedule but i just keep myself indoors isolated from everyone.  is there hope in having a normal functioning day.  

[RichReligion]

worried about them seeing "The monster within"...wow, I would've guessed low self esteem; that's what it usually comes down to. Time alone is good for the one who wants to take the time to measure his ego. Pride is our fall, and when our ego becomes threatened we flip. Most men who suffer from this sickness are men of great courage and understanding. I, myself, think that I could solve everyones problems; including my own. I was the man when it came to advise, and I assisted friends personally, also. I brought this on my self by exspecting too much from myself....Tell him to let some of it go: give it up and just do him and his family. Tell him to stop trying to solve every dang problem and accept all current situations for what they are; we cant make everything right.

[imalive79]

Yes we do deserve it.  

Just take it one day at a time.  

At times it doesn't seem fair at all.  We just have to accept what we have and move on.  Live for today.  Look forward to tomorrow.

Having the support of this group really helps brighten my day.  I hope this small note will help brighten yours too.

[Twelvesgirl]

wow, thats inspirational. i don't leave my house much either. but my isolation has just started in the last few months, and  i go out here and there w/ my family, but my husband is very aware that i will eventually get "panicky" and we will leave straight away.

the weather is getting warmer here, and i have a nice back yard, i enjoy pulling weeds, i cant wait for it to be warm enough to go out and garden. it won't come soon enough. i cry for my kids and wish their mom was like the other moms that i watch walking by on the street w/ their dogs, and their smiles. i just want to be stable again, i just want my sun to shine too, i hate that it shines so bright that it burns out and leaves me feeling charred and fizzled out. this is so horrible, and desperately wanting something that seems so easy to achieve yet is the hardest for me to get on my own is is difficult for me to handle. but i know now that i cant do it on my own, and i'm glad that we have this place to come to and hear positive things.

sorry this did not turn out to be positive, i really intended for it to be. i'm kindof a mess these days.

I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT ANOTHER ONE OF "US" IS READY TO LIVE LIFE! We do deserve it right!

[imalive79]

Thank you for your comments on Letting Go.  I have been beating myself up for far to long.  I have taken your advice and the last month I have started to feel so much better.
I actually feel lighter.  I am remebering who I am.  Its been a long time since I have felt this positive.  Thank You again.

My old saying "It doesn't matter how I feel.  It never has. It never will"

I refuse to say this anymore.  I am ready to live life.  Just taking it one day at a time.

[medicmommy]

I found your comment interesting and it hits close to home for my BP husband...He made a joking comment not too long ago about worrying on someone looking him in the eye and seeing the "monster within"...After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul...
I told him he didn't have anything to worry about because, if they could truly see the person within, they'd be pleasantly surprised in his case...I can imagine how difficult and overwhelming it must be when a BP has to venture out an unpredictable environment when they are grappling for control with the "monster within"...He absolutely detests going to family functions or something really overwhelming like a fair because of the sensory barrage~MM

[RichReligion]

I'm up right now cuz I'm outta meds. I take syroquel, and without it i'll never sleep.

What I lerned is that there is something that we cant let go of..we keep beating ourselves over the head with it...locate the problem and deal with it head on. Don't forget who you are! do the things you used to do. Live a normal life.

I get scare when I look people in the eyes...wierd!! I found that its my own insecurity and low esteem. I'm fighting to get me back...i'm doing things to make me feel better about myself...don't think about the past failures. move foward and keep smiling and laughin...dont take things so serious or personal...we are our own worse enemy.

[bernie40]

This will get better, I was the same about 2 years ago.  I do still have short phases where I isolate but they are short lived (most of the time).  Once you have meds that work for you you can then begin to get your life back together.  It does take time and won't happen over night.  It's baby steps that are needed.

Definitely come on here with any questions and for support.

[imalive79]

I was put on Risperdal for the last year.  I really was not satisfied with the results.  Caused me to yancy all the time.  High prolactin level causing me to leak breast milk from nipple.  the doctor had me take the risperdal with abilify to counter act the high prolactin level.  I had a bad reaction to the combination.  It caused my speech  to slur.  lost movement and cordination in both hands.  Starting hyperventalating.  So I stopped taking both of those.  My doctors office wants me to complete my lab work so they can start me on seroquel xr.  I am going to try to get my lab done tomorrow.  i have been putting it off for about a week now.  I am supposed to be attending a bipolar group weekly.  But i have not gone regularly as my moods have not cooperated with me.  I think once i find the right medicine things will improve.  its just getting to that point.   Thanks for your advice.  It gives me hope that stability is on its way.

[Venora Moonwind]

With meds and therapy there is hope of stability. I have been where you are and its tough.
healthy diet and exercise will also help even if its just a brisk 30 min walk. NO sugar or caffiene as these 2 aggravate bi polar.
Keep coming to the forum and we will help you get through this.,
Did the doc put you on meds?
Blessed Be
Venora

[hell1971]

if you have just been diagnosed does this mean you are now on appropriate bipolar medication ?